Werewolf (1995 Video)

R.C. Bates: Sam the Keeper

Quotes 

• Sam the Keeper : Mr. Niles, I just found out that Count Dracula was a faggot!

  Paul Niles : Huh, Is that so?

  Sam the Keeper : Hey, you don't have to believe me but that's the facts!

• Sam the Keeper : Weird things a-goin', weird things a-comin', weird things a-doin' 'round here!

• Sam the Keeper : [after surviving a confrontation with Paul the Werewolf, to the audience]  I'm the good guy!

• Sam the Keeper : I was just praying for the police! I think we should call the cops!

• Sam the Keeper : [Standing almost perfectly still a few feet from the werewolf]  What's going on? Oh my God! Help me!

  [Still not moving away] 

  Sam the Keeper : Holy Jesus God Father! Werewolf? Oh, no! Save me! This thing is a werewolf!

  [is finally attacked] 

• Paul Niles : Do you always greet people with a gun in your hand?

  Sam the Keeper : What this? This is just to keep the flies down! There's some weird things happening around here!

• Sam the Keeper : What's going on here? Oh my god? Help me? Holy Jesus God Father?