James and the Giant Peach (1996)
Simon Callow: Grasshopper
Photos
Quotes
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Grasshopper : This is an outrage! You are a disgrace to your Phylum, Order, Class, Genus and Spe...
Centipede : Say it in English!
Grasshopper : You, sir, are an asp!
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Centipede : I've sailed all the five seas. From the land of Bora Bora to the icy shores of Tripoli. Commodore Centipede, they used to call me.
Grasshopper : Seven.
Centipede : Huh?
Grasshopper : There are seven seas, and Tripoli is in the Sub-Tropics, Commodore!
Centipede : Trim the sails!
Ladybug : There are no sails.
Centipede : Start the engines!
Earthworm : There are no engines.
Centipede : I can't work with this miserable crew!
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[James has discovered he has changed]
James : It's like he said: Marvelous things will happen.
Glowworm : Did he say, "Marvelous pigs in satin"?
Grasshopper : No, dear lady.
[He takes out a megaphone and speaks through it]
Grasshopper : Marvelous things will happen.
[to James]
Grasshopper : Poor Glowworm, she's a little deaf.
Earthworm : I, on the other hand, have exquisite hearing.
Centipede : Oh, yeah? Well, listen to this...
[He spits into his many hands and grabs the megaphone and yells into it]
Centipede : LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!
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[in the darkness]
Earthworm : [Centipede pinches him] Ow! What was that?
Centipede : Sorry, I thought you were the spider.
Grasshopper : [Miss Spider hits him] Ouch. What was *that*?
Miss Spider : Excuse, I thought you were the Centipede.
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Centipede : We're not lost.
Grasshopper : Then where are we?
Centipede : Somewhere up north. Or, possibly, very far south.
Grasshopper : What's your latitude? What's your longitude?
Centipede : Hey, hey, hey! That's personal, bud!
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[the compass is lost during a storm]
Grasshopper : We'll be blown off course!
Centipede : We'll wind up in Jersey!
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[everyone is discussing how to get the peach to New York]
James : We could... No, it's stupid.
Grasshopper : Compared to what?
James : Well, I suppose we could fly out.
Centipede : He's right. It's stupid.
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The Grasshopper : No-one is going to squoosh you, old boy. You're six feet long now.
Earthworm : Bigger targets.
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Spider : We are in the middle of the, how do you say, the big puddle.
Centipede : Biggest puddle of 'em all, angel fangs - the Atlantic Ocean.
Old Green Grasshopper : Technically, the Pacific is the biggest.
Centipede : Well, that goes without saying.
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Earthworm : We gotta get out of here. We'll be turned into living statues.
Grasshopper : *Dead* living statues!
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Old Green Grasshopper : Oh this is all my fault.
Earthworm : Hey don't take all the credit, I helped too!
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The Grasshopper : He's committed pesticide!
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Earthworm : Great! We'll be stuck here until we starve and die.
The Grasshopper : Highly improbable.
Ladybug : Well, that's encouraging.
The Grasshopper : We are far more likely to drown.
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Grasshopper : [singing] For dinner on my birthday, shall I tell you what I chose? Hot noodles made from poodles on a slice of garden hose/And a rather smelly jelly made from armadillo's toes/The jelly is delicious, but you have to hold your nose!
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The Grasshopper , Centipede : [to each other, after their fighting knocks the last of the food overboard] NOW look what you've done!
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Centipede : Biggest puddle of them all, Angel Fangs. The Atlantic Ocean.
The Grasshopper : Tecnically, the Pacific is larger.
Centipede : Well... that goes without saying.
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Grasshopper : [he heard in the distance] James! Up here!
Glowworm : Hello! We're here!
Centipede : Hey, buddy!
Aunt Sponge : [stutters] What are they?
Glowworm : [they grab one of their strings with seagulls on top] Young James.
Centipede : Hey, Jimmy!
Aunt Spiker : [he looks up in fright] BUGS!
Centipede : [the people looked at them] Need a little help down there?
Aunt Sponge : [screams] GIANT BUGS!
[Spiker and Sponge gasped in fright]
Centipede : HEY, YOU OLD BIDDIES!
[blows a raspberry on them]
Aunt Sponge : [Spiker grabs Sponge's hand] Help us!
Ladybug : Whoo-ee! Here we are, dear.
Earthworm : Hello, James!
James : [looks up at them] I TOLD you they were real.
Grasshopper : Hello, old boy.
Miss Spider : Requesting clearance to land.
[they started to land on the peach, while Spiker and Sponge whimpers and shutters and James looks up at Miss Spider.]
James : Miss Spider, throw me a string.
[she tosses down a strand of the Spider's thread. It's loop on the end just like it was when they captured the seagulls. James catches it and throws the lasso down down onto Spiker and Sponge]
Earthworm : Okay. Pull them up.
Aunt Sponge : [they started pulling them up when Spiker and Sponge were screaming and shrieking] HELP!
Aunt Sponge : [then both screaming] Where are we going?
James : Spin them around.
Aunt Sponge : YOU LITTLE...
James : [the grasshopper pushes the Aunt Spiker and Aunt Sponge for a spin, they started screaming] Wrap them tightly!
[her wigs tore it off as Miss Spider spins out more silk as the Ladybug and the Centipede fed it up]
James : Tighter! Tighter!
[Spiker and Sponge got wrapped up in Spider's Silk]
Beat Cop : Well, I'll be a...
Beat Cop : [addressing the crowd] The kid was tellin' the truth.
[he saw muffled screams coming from inside a huge cocoon]
Beat Cop : [to the crane operator] Get those two creeps OUTTA here!
[the crane operator pulls the lever and the cocoon swings out into view]
