The Cable Guy (1996)
Leslie Mann: Robin Harris
Photos
Quotes
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Steven Kovacs : [using Cable Guy's advice to Robin] I don't listen to you. I pretend to understand, but I'm really just saying the things that I think you want to hear. And I'm interested in learning about every detail of the complicated splendor that is you.
Robin Harris : Oh.
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[playing Porno Password - the password is "Nipple"]
Chip Douglas : Hard...
Robin Harris : Erection?
Chip Douglas : [sighs] No. But thanks for noticing.
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Steven Kovacs : I hate you! Get out of my life!
Chip Douglas : He's projecting all of his anger onto me. Maybe I should go.
Robin Harris : No, don't go. Steven, you are being an asshole!
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[they are playing Porno Password - the password is "Vagina"]
Chip Douglas : Penis. Penis. Penis...?
Robin Harris : Vagina?
Chip Douglas : YES! She said "vagina"! She said "vagina"!
Steven's father : I would've said "schlong".
Chip Douglas : Great. Now we're starting to get this.
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[Steven has had enough playing "Porno Password" after being told the password is "clitoris"]
Steven Kovacs : I can't say that to my mother!
Steven's father : She can handle it.
The Cable Guy : It's just skin, Steven.
Steven Kovacs : I don't want to do it any more!
Steven's father : You're overreacting.
Steven Kovacs : No! You're all being fooled by him! He's not like this! H-He's a lunatic and a felon!
The Cable Guy : Whoa! Everybody just relax. We knew this would happen.
Steven Kovacs : Nothing is happening! Nothing is happening!
The Cable Guy : This is a safe place. You're with people who love you.
Robin Harris , Steven's father , Steven's Mother : We love you.
Steven Kovacs : I hate you! Get out of my life!
The Cable Guy : He's projecting all of his anger onto me. Maybe I should go.
Robin Harris : [to Cable Guy] No.
[to Steven]
Robin Harris : Steven, you are being an asshole!
Steven Kovacs : What?
The Cable Guy : Do you see what's happening? You're hitting bottom.
[Cable Guy gets up from the couch and starts moving towards Steven]
Steven Kovacs : You stay away from me!
The Cable Guy : This is where the healing begins. Come on. Come on!
[quickly leans in close to Steven and whispers]
The Cable Guy : Robin showed me the birthmark on her left shoulder. It's *very* sexy
[slurps with his tongue]
The Cable Guy : [Steven proceeds to deck him; the family members gather around him in shock]
The Cable Guy : [nursing his wound] Thank you for the delightful evening, everyone. I guess I'll be leaving now.
[to Steven]
The Cable Guy : I forgive you. I only hope my neurologist will feel the same.
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[Chip knocks on Robin's door]
Robin Harris : Who is it?
Chip Douglas : It's the Cable Guy!
Robin Harris : My cable's fine.
Chip Douglas : I've got an upgrade order for one Robin Harris. The Rainbow package - that's every pay channel available.
Robin Harris : I didn't order that.
[Frustrated, Chip makes a face behind the door but just as quickly relaxes]
Chip Douglas : Apparently, you have a secret admirer.
[Robin opens the door, but with the chain still on]
Robin Harris : [smiling] Was it a man named Steven?
Chip Douglas : [playing along] I can't tell you that.
Robin Harris : Come on.
Chip Douglas : No, I promised Steven I wouldn't say.
[gasps]
Chip Douglas : Oh, my goodness! Look what I've done.
[smiles innocently]
Chip Douglas : You didn't hear it from me.
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Chip Douglas : You know, I asked a woman to marry me once. She wanted to think about it. We agreed to take some time apart. You know... give each other space.
[begins crying]
Chip Douglas : Well... she's no longer with us.
Robin Harris : I'm sorry.
Chip Douglas : Sometimes, you don't know what you've got til it's gone.
[beat; quietly]
Chip Douglas : Promise me you'll never go bungee-jumping in Mexico.
[getting more emotional]
Chip Douglas : They just don't have the regulations!
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The Cable Guy : Well that just about does it
Robin Harris : Ok
The Cable Guy : That was kinda hot up there
Robin Harris : So, are you friends of Steven's?
The Cable Guy : I'm proud to say that I am. I recently installed his cable and we just sort of hit it off. We bonded big time
Robin Harris : Are you guys going out a lot?
The Cable Guy : Mmmmm not really
The Cable Guy : That guy is devoted to you
The Cable Guy : You know I'm probably crossing a boundary telling you this, but he thinks you're the cats pajamas. He really does
Robin Harris : Does he say that?
The Cable Guy : Only every 5 minutes. Frankly I'm sick of hearing it! I'm just joking with you. He's a good man
The Cable Guy : He mentioned that you guys have ummmmm had some problems
Robin Harris : Yeah well it's sort of complicated
The Cable Guy : It always is. You know I asked a woman to marry me once. She said she would think about it. So we agreed to take some time apart. Reassess our feelings. Give each other space. Now she's no longer with us.
Robin Harris : I'm sorry
The Cable Guy : Sometimes you just don't know what you got until it's gone
The Cable Guy : Promise me you'll never go bungee jumping in New Mexico ok? They just don't have the regulations
Robin Harris : I promise
The Cable Guy : I've said too much
Robin Harris : Well thank you
The Cable Guy : Cherish him Robin. Every hair on his head