- [Leif Olsson has fallen off the roof and is dangling forward and back in the cable he was trying to install]
- Ivar Olsson: [commenting on the TV] Now it's good... now it's bad... now it's good... now it's bad...
- [Melitta reveals that Lillan knocked over an armor]
- Astrid Olsson: Oh, my God, that's horrible. Leif, does home insurance cover this?
- Leif Olsson: [calmly] We're not at home now.
- Ivar Olsson: [showing his palm, which is transparent] Look, Lillan. Do you know what this is?
- Lillan Olsson: 'Course I do. It's ectoplasm. It's ghost mucus.
- Spöket Staffan: The Count wanted the Princess to marry him, but she said that he wasn't her type, and disagreed.
- Ivar Olsson: [sarcastically] The Interest Club takes a note.
- Leif Olsson: [carrying the parabole on his head] I'll be on the roof, kids. You keep things under control down here, right?
- Ivar Olsson: [saluting] Yes, Mr. Chantarelle!
- Melitta Olsson: But what if the Count makes a ghost out of you too, like he did with Jean and Staffan?
- Ivar Olsson: It's a risk I have to take.
- Melitta Olsson: [about a ghost she just saw] It was like I could see through it... like a cheese with holes in it.
- Leif Olsson: [annoyed] Yesterday, it was an armor. Today, a cheese with holes. What's it gonna be tomorrow? A toothbrush that smokes the peace pipe or a baboon that does the tango?
- Melitta Olsson: [after kissing Måns] Ew! You're tongue is all gluey!
- Måns, paperboy: [lisping] Uh, yeah, that'th what happenth when you lick two thouthand thtampth.
- Melitta Olsson: [about Dioda] How come she can't talk?
- Lillan Olsson: Well, she's been locked away for a long time, maybe she just forgot how to speak.
- Ivar Olsson: Yeah, I forget my English vocabulary in a week!
- Ivar Olsson: [thinking] I have to talk to her. But what am I going to say? "Hi, handsome, you wanna hang out and play video games." No, not that! "What's a princess like you doing in a castle like this?" No, that's not good either! I know! "Do you want to come with me and read The Phantom?" No, no, no! Why does she have to be able to read my mind? Hey, wait! If I wear the saucepan over my head, she can't hear my thoughts! That's good.
- [puts saucepan on his head]
- Ivar Olsson: [Princess Dioda walks in]
- Princess Dioda: Hi, Ivar. Why do you have that saucepan on your head?
- Ivar Olsson: [removes the saucepan and thinks to Dioda]
- Princess Dioda: What? ..."The Phantom", what's that?
- Ivar Olsson: Noo! That wasn't what I was supposed to think!
- Princess Dioda: What?
- Ivar Olsson: I was thinking I was going to think what I didn't think. So the thought that I thought was not the thought I was thinking about!
- Princess Dioda: Ivar... I have ears, too.
- The Gnome: Yadda yadda, blah blah blah. I can't keep track of *all* details here. Just get it done!
- Ivar Olsson: [about Måns' scooter] Have you ever gone faster than this?
- Måns, paperboy: Yeah, once. But the wind was in my back, and I had to take a leak.
- Ivar Olsson: [thinking] She's so good-looking!
- Princess Dioda: You look pretty good, too, Ivar.
- Ivar Olsson: [thinking] Huh! She can read my mind! This is so embarrassing!
- Princess Dioda: I'm sorry about this, you've all been very nice to me. But I have to go home now. To the Milky Way.
- Leif Olsson: [solemnly] Yeah. What a pity we won't get to see any more of you.
- Melitta Olsson: [to Ralf] Hey... you're friend's been to the bathroom for pretty long now, maybe we should go check on him?
- Astrid Olsson: Oh, God, please don't tell me the bathroom door's lock is jammed again! Leif, go check on it!
- Ralf, burglar: No! No. I mean, he's got a very big bladder. You never know how long he'll be in there. Sometimes he has to stand there for days and nights!
- Ivar Olsson: Hey, you just said his bladder was really small. Now you're saying it's big. Make up your mind!
- Ralf, burglar: Uh... yeah! You know, that's the thing with his bladder. Sometimes it's really really big, and then - suddenly! - it's small. Yeah, his bladder is a complete mystery, you never know where you have it.