Wagons East (1994)

John C. McGinley: Julian

Photos 

Quotes 

• John Slade : The name's Slade.

  Julian Rogers : Super. Here's an idea. Why don't you spell it out for me so I can get it right on your tombstone.

• Ben Wheeler : But leaving would be like giving up.

  Phil Taylor : That's exactly what it would be, Ben--giving up! So let's just give up. Let's get out of here. Let's get ourselves a wagon master and go home. Let's go east. What do you say?

  Bartender : I say you're a bunch of gutless lily-livered, yellow-belly eastern sissies. All you've done since you got here was whine and complain. Now why don't you go back and leave the West to the real men?

  Julian Rogers : Well, actually, I could have the books on the wagon really quickly. And the Cappuccino machine, you know, is going to travel like a dream.

• Billy : [while Julian is washing his back]  So, what brought you out West, Julian?

  Julian Rogers : Oh, the men. I heard it was just plumb full of them.

  Billy : Men?

  [pause] 

  Billy : Oh, because men read more books than women.

  Julian Rogers : Uh, yeah.

• Julian Rogers : I'm going back West.

  Belle : What could be there for you?

  Julian Rogers : San Francisco.

• Ben Wheeler : We can't go East.

  Phil Taylor : Why not?

  Ben Wheeler : Because!

  Phil Taylor : Why?

  Zeke : Because it's against "The Code."

  Phil Taylor : It's against what code?

  Ben Wheeler : You know very well what code. The Code... of the West.

  Phil Taylor : Oh, the Code of the West. Isn't that the same code that says, ah...

  Ben Wheeler : "The only good Indian is a dead Indian."

  Phil Taylor : And "Die with your boots on." Wait, wait a minute, I got another one for you - "If someone steals your horse, you hang him." That's some code. Hey, this is quite a code! Let's just stay here! What a code.

  Julian Rogers : It's not a very enlightened ideology.

• John Slade : Your move, sissy boy.

  Julian Rogers : Sissy boy? Oh please, that's so Dodge City.

• Julian Rogers : I'd like to recommend one of my favorite authors to you: a woman named Jane Austen. This is a writer of just wonderfully exquisite prose. And, of course, as you can see, it's a big damn book. Oh, "Pride and Prejudice". Harry Bob, I think you're going to get more than a run for your money out of this one.

  Harry Bob : How much?

  Julian Rogers : Well, I think two dollars is a fair price.

  Harry Bob : Really.

  Julian Rogers : Uh-huh.

  Harry Bob : How much for just "Pride"?

  Julian Rogers : Well, actually, one does hate to break up the set.

  Harry Bob : All right, but I got to test it first.

  [He tears out some pages from the book] 

  Harry Bob : Where's the outhouse?