Sirens (1994)

Hugh Grant: Anthony Campion

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Quotes 

• Norman Lindsay : Now as for the suffering that my poor pictures will cause for the few people that will get to see them, it's nothing compared to the suffering that the Church has caused over the centuries. The burning of witches, the Spanish Inquisition, the slaughter of pagan tribes and so on. Anyway, there we are. Must get back to work.

  Anthony Campion : Well, I don't think the Church can be blamed for everything that's been done...

  [turns and sees Sheela and Pru posing naked] 

  Anthony Campion : [stutters]  in-in-in-in its name but we'll take this up later.

  [he walks out] 

• [Anthony and Estella enter the bar] 

  Barman : Gents only in the bar. The ladies' lounge is through the door.

  Anthony Campion : Yes, well, we don't want a drink, we just want a taxi, if there is such a thing.

  Tom : Reg is at a funeral.

  Anthony Campion : I see.

  Lewis : You could be in for a long wait.

  Anthony Campion : Oh, yes?

  Lewis : It's his funeral.

  [the other men in the bar laugh] 

• Anthony Campion : Your characters all seem so ravenous. Can't love ever be a gentle thing?

  Norman Lindsay : Yes, of course it can, but I'm not painting love scenes.

  Anthony Campion : Sorry, yes, lust scenes.

  Norman Lindsay : But there is a fierceness in desire, isn't there? In lovemaking? One of life's great conundrums.

  Anthony Campion : Virtually the only one, according to your paintings.

• Anthony Campion : [needs to go to the toilet]  Um... whereabouts is the, uh...

  [he cocks his head and makes a clicking noise] 

  Sheela : [to Giddy]  Take him out to the thunder box.

• Anthony Campion : [to Estella, at bedtime, in a funny voice]  "Is there a Piglet in the house?" said Pooh.

• Anthony Campion : [about the outhouse]  Why on Earth do they call it a thunder box? Is that because it's out in the wind and the rain?

  Giddy : I suppose. But you always need to keep your shoes on.

  Anthony Campion : Are there stinging nettles?

  Giddy : Well, yes, and scorpions and centipedes apparently.

  Anthony Campion : Hell!

• Pru : Imaginations are a luxury.

  Anthony Campion : Beg your pardon?

  Pru : Most people can't afford them.

  Anthony Campion : Well, I don't think imagination is dependent on economics, is it?

  Pru : What if you're working in a factory doing exactly the same thing day after day?

  Estella Campion : I think an active imagination is what allows people to do that kind of work.

  Pru : Oh, well, you'd know, of course.

  Estella Campion : I just think that's what you'd have to do. You'd have to be imagining other things.

  Pru : Please don't start telling us what the working class does and doesn't think, thank you very much.

• Anthony Campion : [offering Giddy a cigarette, in a deliberately suave manner]  Try one of these. They're Turkish.

• Norman Lindsay : I freely admit that the human universe is infinitely richer than my meagre palette. For instance, I do absolutely no justice at all to the nervous nellies and the shrinking violets, the saints...

  Estella Campion : You're very contemptuous of shrinking violets, aren't you, Mr. Lindsay?

  Norman Lindsay : Dear Estella, I'm a shrinking violet myself. I mean, I choose to live not in the real world but in here.

  [he points to his head] 

  Norman Lindsay : I flee from the real world into my little studio and there before me is the unlimited canvas of my imagination.

  Anthony Campion : Yes, but your paintings don't stay in the studio, do they? They do go out into the real world. And while you have a wonderful imagination, Lindsay, most people's are, quite frankly, stunted and you absolutely have no idea what effect they might have on people or what they might incite them to. Rape?

  Norman Lindsay : Mr. Campion, in my opinion, the female body is the most beautiful thing in the world. And if it turns you into a ravenous maniac, then I would suggest that it may be a very good idea if your wife takes the greatest care to get undressed behind a screen.

  Rose Lindsay : Well, Estella's seen the pictures, too. Does that mean we're in danger from her?

• Pru : You're so patronizing, Mr. Campion. Everyone has a rich imagination, what stunts it is capitalist exploitation. You should go to Soviet Russia where the whole population's been liberated. There's an explosion of creativity.

  Anthony Campion : Have you been to Soviet Russia, Pru? Have you?

  [she doesn't answer] 

  Anthony Campion : Oh, I'm sorry, I thought for a moment someone actually knew what they were talking about here instead of just banging on in this tired, bohemian way. The only thing communism has exploded is every single value, religious or otherwise, leaving a vacuum of moral anarchy.

  Pru : Anarchy is freedom!

  Anthony Campion : Balls!

  [Estella and Lindsay look at him, shocked] 

  Anthony Campion : Sorry, sorry. Freedom for the strong to dominate the weak. It's exactly the same situation that's existed before, it's just a different set of bullies.

• Norman Lindsay : Look, Jesus never said anything about chastity, anyway. That all started with a bunch of grumbling old men on some God-forsaken island somewhere that suddenly decided the body was bad for the soul.

  Anthony Campion : [sarcastically]  Atlantis, was it?

  Rose Lindsay : It's a pity for women it wasn't.

• Anthony Campion : [is told that he and Estella could pose for Lindsay's paintings, if they like]  Well, I don't think that's quite for us. Thank you.

  Pru : Well, you could always wear a dagger, strategically placed. Or a sword. Whichever you need.

• Anthony Campion : According to Mr Lindsay, we should both be in a state of perpetual tumescence.

• Anthony Campion : I ask because the cataclysm can be seen as an image of moral collapse and some think we're going through a similar period of decay.

• Pru : The Industrial Revolution killed the fairies. They were left with nowhere to live.

  Anthony Campion : Except our imaginations.

  Pru : Imaginations are a luxury.

• Estella Campion : They're trying to shock us, aren't they?

  Anthony Campion : Oh yes, well, church-baiting's always been a popular pastime. I used to get an awful lot of it at university. Atheists, for some reason, always think it's funny to roast the dusty old Christian. The great thing, of course, is not to be too dusty. You should have seen Lindsay's face when I started quoting Joyce at him.

• Anthony Campion : 'Morning.

  Articulate Drunk : Get fucked. Get fucked.

• Anthony Campion : I think some things are best left unsaid.

  Estella Campion : But that means we'll always be strangers.

  Anthony Campion : No, not really. Only small parts of us.

  Estella Campion : The bad parts?

  Anthony Campion : No, I think it's good to have a few secrets.

  Estella Campion : Do you?

  Anthony Campion : Mm. That way, in 50 years time, we'll still be able to surprise each other.

• Norman Lindsay : The fact is, the gloomy God of the Old Testament still has us by the scruff of the neck today. When He was invented, there was a lot of pagan religions around that celebrated sexuality and fertility and so on. So how was this new religion to compete with something that was so popular? Well, by saying that sex was evil and that women, the embodiment of sexuality, were in fact responsible for the downfall of mankind in the Garden of Eden!

  Rose Lindsay : Yes, and we've been second-class citizens ever since.

  Anthony Campion : Mrs. Pankhurst would be proud of you, Rose.

  Rose Lindsay : [thumps the table]  Why can't we be vicars or priests?

  Sheela : Or popes?

  Rose Lindsay : Because we're too deafened by the din of our bodies to hear God's Word.