Gensomaden Saiyuki (2000–2001)
Braden Hunt: Cho Hakkai
Quotes
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Sha Gojyo : [cracks open a beer and takes a swig] Goddamn it, this one's hot. Goku, get me another beer.
Goku : Get your own beer, jerkoff!
Sha Gojyo : Okay, you're gonna get me another beer or I'm gonna take this can and shove it up your whiney little ass! You got that?
Goku : You just try and see what happens, ya shithead!
Sha Gojyo : Oh, yeah?
Goku : You're just looking for an excuse to touch my ass, aren't you?
Genjo Sanzo : [sighs] Please ...
Sha Gojyo : You little fag! Don't project your fantasies on me!
Goku : All right, that's it! Pull over, I'm taking him out!
Genjo Sanzo : Your little unrequited love affair is starting to get on my nerves! Get a room!
[Gojyo and Goku fall silent]
Cho Hakkai : Good move there, uh, Sanzo.
Genjo Sanzo : I thought so, thanks.
Cho Hakkai : Oh, my, awful quiet back there guys. Are you two making out?
Sha Gojyo : Shut up, Hakkai.
Goku : Yeah, shut up.
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Goku : [laughing] You, a holy man? Yeah, right!
Sha Gojyo : [laughing, mimicking Yoh] I cannot tell you what this means to me. Do no hesitate to call my name!
Cho Hakkai : [laughing] You know what this means, don't you?
[the three become very serious]
Goku , Sha Gojyo , Cho Hakkai : He doesn't know you very well.
[they break into laughter again]
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Cho Hakkai : Oh, dear!
Hakuryu : Miaow!
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Goku : Oh, great, the carnival's in town.
Sha Gojyo : Oh, yeah. I'd like to show a couple of those little carnival hotties what kind of action's going on under my big top.
Cho Hakkai : [blows a whistle] Too much information!
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[a demon flies into the hall through Goku's closed door]
Cho Hakkai : Are you all right, Goku?
Goku : [sleepily] Wha? I'm fine. I had the weirdest dream.
Cho Hakkai : More like a nightmare, my friend.
Sha Gojyo : He did this in his sleep? That's bullshit.
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Genjo Sanzo : I'm sorry, I can't concentrate. Not with those two morons in the back.
Cho Hakkai : [happily] I'm trying to ignore them!
Genjo Sanzo : Really? How's it going?
Cho Hakkai : Not so good.
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Sha Gojyo : [analyzing their foe] So, whadda ya think, Goku?
Goku : Seems like an asshole and he's got bad hair. I say minus twenty points.
Cho Hakkai : Take off another fifteen. His clothes are lame and he smells.
Monk 3, Demon 3 : [laughing until he realizes they're talking about him] Huh? How dare you! How dare you mock me!
Goku : Oh! Dude! Bad teeth! Take off another five!
[the demon throws his ax at Gojyo and misses]
Sha Gojyo : Bad aim. That's another ten.
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Genjo Sanzo : And you're not all that bright either. Take away another forty-five.
Goku : Nice shot.
Cho Hakkai : With that many points, he's definitely out of the game.
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Cho Hakkai : They didn't drive all this way just to see us, did they?
Goku : I'm not so sure that truck is road worthy.
Cho Hakkai : [laughs] How much you wanna bet they had to push that thing all the way here?
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Goku : But there are still some spring rolls left!
Sha Gojyo : Beer!
Cho Hakkai : Yes, yes, I know. But if we don't hurry, Sanzo really will shoot us.
Goku : Spring rolls!
Sha Gojyo : Beer!
Genjo Sanzo : Slowpokes!
[fires two shots]
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Hotel Clerk : I know, I have an idea. How about I lay a bunch of blankets on the floor for you guys and you can all sleep together.
Genjo Sanzo , Sha Gojyo , Goku , Cho Hakkai : Sleep together?
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Cho Hakkai : It's such an eerie feeling, though. How he actually seems to anticipate our every move.
Genjo Sanzo : That's not hard with these two.
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Sha Gojyo : I'll be damned. He's sleeping with eyes open.
[grabs Goku and starts shaking him]
Sha Gojyo : That's just too goddamned creepy!
Genjo Sanzo : Shut up or I'll kill you!
Cho Hakkai : That's too weird. Sanzo shouts in his sleep.
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Cho Hakkai : Destroying that which you hate will not create the world you long for, I promise.
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Genjo Sanzo : I wish that stupid monkey would just shut the hell up.
Sha Gojyo : Whoo-hee, he's giving me a pounding headache.
Cho Hakkai : Hey, come one, bring on the booze!
Sha Gojyo : Come to think of it, I've never actually seen Hakkai drunk before.
Cho Hakkai : We might have underestimated him.
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Eldest Fei Brother : What's wrong, Goldilocks? You look woozy. That all you got?
[pauses]
Eldest Fei Brother : I didn't hurt your feelings, did I, pretty boy?
Genjo Sanzo : Heh, heh, heh, heh ...
Cho Hakkai : S-Sanzo?
Genjo Sanzo : You dumb bastard. You actually have the gall to mock me, do you? Maten ...
Cho Hakkai : [clamps his hand over Sanzo's mouth] Please! Don't you think unleashing a scripture that controls heaven and earth is a little severe?
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General Kenren : So come on, guys, if you've been wanting a piece of me, here's your chance.
[laughs]
Field Marshall Tenpou : You just had to rile them up, didn't you?
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Genjo Sanzo : Tell me, why is this brat still around?
Cho Hakkai : Put down the gun.
Yaone : Since we were here, I figured we would enjoy the festival.
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Cho Hakkai : Look, Sanzo, you're gonna totally look like and old man if you're tense all the time. You should learn to relax a little bit. It wouldn't kill ya.
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Cho Hakkai : I feel like the mouse the cat plays with before it's going to kill it.
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Sha Gojyo : Either they're really confident, really polite, or really bored.
Cho Hakkai : I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say all of the above.
Sha Gojyo : Or this could be their way of flirting with one of us.
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Konzen Douji : Tell me, are you and Kenren sharing the same stylist?
Field Marshal Tenpou : Yes, and I think the fashion is bound to catch on eventually!
General Kenren : Don't I look more rugged?
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Cho Hakkai : Regrets are just a way for the foolish and the guilty to pass the time.
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Cho Hakkai : By the way, I'm willing to bet I'm the first guy you've ever held in your arms.
Sha Gojyo : That's right, never again.
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Cho Hakkai : Okay, I'll stay. But I want you to know that I reserve the right to walk at any time I deem fit.
Genjo Sanzo : Just take me with you.
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Cho Hakkai : Ladies, ladies, please.
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Cho Hakkai : Without the limitor he's reverted to his original form. The creature conceived in a giant stone where the earthly auras gather. The great sage, Goku.
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Merciful Goddess : I got it. Nothing is impossible for me.
[childish chanting over Hakkai and Jiroushin's dialogue]
Merciful Goddess : Nothing is impossible for me. I'm a goddess, I can do whatever I want to! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Cho Hakkai : Oohhkaaay... Are goddesses always this sure of themselves?
Cho Hakkai : Oh, boy. Just try working for one.
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Genjo Sanzo : I'm crashing. Anyone wakes me up, cut their nuts off.
Cho Hakkai : [short laugh] Go to sleep.
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Cho Hakkai : When they get like this, I usually just like to go to my own happy place.
Genjo Sanzo : Are you really able to tune them out?
Cho Hakkai : Mmmm, nope.
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Cho Hakkai : Oh, my, he sure is good at taming wild animals.
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Yaone : Hello!
Cho Hakkai : What's up?
Yaone : I was wondering, if you're not doing anything, would you consider maybe being my opponent? If you want to.
Cho Hakkai : Why, I would be honored.
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Cho Hakkai : You said it was easy to find the crevices of my heart. Well, my heart isn't big enough for crevices.
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Genjo Sanzo : Sheesh. I thought one Goku was bad enough.
Sha Gojyo : You should think of all of the trouble they'll cause for other folks.
Cho Hakkai : Besides, illegal copies are an infringement of copyright.
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Cho Hakkai : We wouldn't be on this journey unless we were all a bunch of idiots.
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Goku : I'm so stuffed!
Cho Hakkai : [laughs] I'd never thought I'd live to hear those world pass through your lips, Goku.
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Goku : Why would a demon com all that way just to eat a Sanzo? Are Sanzos that tasty?
Sha Gojyo : Now don't you go getting any funny ideas, hear me?
Genjo Sanzo : I seem to recall the spider woman saying something about eating holy monks. Interesting. Apparently a healthy serving of monks helps you live longer.
Cho Hakkai : So eating a high ranking monk like a Sanzo is as good as eating your fruits and vegetables when you're a demon, is that it?
Sha Gojyo : You've got to be shitting me.
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Cho Hakkai : Being a Sanzo doesn't necessarily make you as strong as a demon. He was probably a proper, serious, ordinary, very devout Sanzo.
Sha Gojyo , Goku : Oh, right, gotcha.
Genjo Sanzo : What do you mean by that?
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Genjo Sanzo : [gasps in pain after being kicked by Goku] Ow, that hurt. What'd you do that for?
Goku : Berate me. Go ahead and strike me with your little paper fan. That's what the Sanzo priest I know would do.
Cho Hakkai : [voice over] Sanzo's rage vanished instantly. The Sanzo priest was really no match for the monkey's wit.
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Cho Hakkai : I think Sanzo's starting to warm up a little.
Sha Gojyo : He can be twisted at times, but
[lisping]
Sha Gojyo : it's kinda nice to see his feminine side.
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Bat Demon : Come, don't be shy. Let's get a look at that pretty little face of yours.
[chuckling, he removes the hood to reveal Hakkai]
Bat Demon : Huh?
Cho Hakkai : Don't tell me you didn't see this one coming. Oh, well. So how 'bout it tall, dark, handsome, and horrible? I do hope you're into the rough stuff.
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Sha Gojyo : You, dying of hunger? That's I'd like to see.
Genjo Sanzo : What's wrong, Goku?
[Goku faints]
Cho Hakkai : Goku!
Sha Gojyo : I'll go get you some food right away! Just hold on! Don't die on me monkey.
[Goku sits up happily]
Goku : In that case, I'll take some pot stickers.
[Gojyo smacks him]
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Lirin : Okay, bald Sanzo, here I come!
Genjo Sanzo : Goku, you fight her.
Goku : Oh, kick ass! Why'd you choose me?
Sha Gojyo : Makes sense. She's your size.
Goku : But Hakkai's the one who's good with children.
Cho Hakkai : No, no! Gojyo's the one that's good with women.
Sha Gojyo : Yeah, but she's, she's Sanzo's girlfriend.
Genjo Sanzo : You're askin' for it.
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Goku : [looking at the sunset] It's more beautiful than a meat bun!
Sha Gojyo : That's quite an endorsement.
Cho Hakkai : Come to think of it, we're always heading towards the setting sun, aren't we?
[sigh]
Cho Hakkai : Ah, sweet youth!
Sha Gojyo : [bursts out laughing] Ah sweet youth!
[keeps laughing]
Cho Hakkai : It wasn't that bad, now was it?
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Cho Hakkai : Boy we sure did leave a mess.
Sha Gojyo : And trash pickup isn't until Thursday.
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Sha Gojyo : It looks like a giant turd.
Cho Hakkai : You are so grossing me out, you know that?
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Goku : All these vegatables are giving me gas.
Cho Hakkai : Well, they're Buddists and they're monks... and if you think about farting I'll kill you.
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Goku : [running and holding Hakkai's leg for protection] You said Sanzo would be forgiving, but he's not.
Cho Hakkai : That's why I added to probably.