The Ref (1994)

Denis Leary: Gus

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Quotes 

• Gus : You know what, lady? I'd like to tie you to the back of a fucking truck.

  Rose : You don't have the balls.

  [Gus leaps up from his chair toward Rose and is intercepted by Lloyd] 

  Lloyd : Don't do it! It's not worth it.

  Gus : I fucking hate her, Lloyd!

  Lloyd : I know, I know.

  Gus : What is the matter with you? I thought mothers were sweet and nice a-a-and Patient. I know loan sharks who are more forgiving than you. Your husband ain't dead, lady. He's hiding.

• Gus : Great, I hijacked my fucking parents.

• Lloyd : She's my mother.

  Gus : She's a fucking Bitch, Lloyd.

  Lloyd : You're not supposed to take sides.

  Caroline : No, no, no, thank you so much Gus. Finally somebody else sees.

  Gus : You'd have to be blind not to see.

• Caroline : Did you know you're bleeding?

  Gus : Oh, yeah.

  Lloyd : Were you shot?

  Gus : Dog bit me

  Caroline : What dog?

  Gus : Willard's dog.

  Caroline : Cannibal bit you?

  Gus : His name is Cannibal?

• Rose : You're a "Wong"?

  Gus : Well, my mother was Irish.

  Rose : And your father?

  Gus : Wasn't.

• Murray : Gus?

  Gus : What?

  Murray : When are we gonna open presents?

  Gus : Presents? Is that what you said? Presents? We'll open them when we get there. No, in fact, I'll save you the trouble. Your present is a giant fucking cannon. And you're gonna crawl in it. Then I'm gonna get 2 pounds of gunpowder and I'm gonna shoot you right out of Jersey! And then I'm gonna drive to Jersey, and pick up all the parts of your body and put them in a plastic bag. Then I'm gonna drive to my house with you in the bag and toss you into the fireplace. I'm gonna get my glass of whiskey and watch the Charlie Brown Special with your ashes burning IN MY FUCKING HOUSE! AGH!

  Murray : Gus?

  Gus : What?

  Murray : What's that smell?

  Gus : Shut up.

• Gus : Connecticut is the fifth ring of hell.

• Gus : [with a gun to Rose's head]  All right. Everybody into the den, or I'll shoot her.

  Connie Chasseur : Go ahead. Shoot her.

  Gus : Shut up! Get in the den!

• Gus : Look kid... what I do, running around, stealing stuff, may sound great when you're 14 years old, but it sucks just a little bit when you're 35. No house, no family. I got a partner who's 56, alcoholic... he still can't understand why they took "Happy Days" off the air. And then I got to turn on the TV every day and see kids like you, one after another on these talk shows. You got everything, opportunities up the ass, you got a family to come home to, and what do you do? You sit around, and you bitch and you moan, because things don't go your way. Well, you know what, kid? Welcome to the real world, where most times things don't go your fucking way.

• Caroline : We had our own restaurant once. An Italian restaurant. Of course, I would have preferred French, but...

  Gus : What are we, girlfriends? Do I give a shit about this? No.

• Gus : I swear to God, you hit that kid one more time and I will stick that pig's head right up your ass!

  Connie Chasseur : Gary, are you gonna let him talk to me like that?

  Gary Chasseur : Well, he is a doctor.

• [Gus on the phone with a bartender] 

  Gus : Is there a Murray there?

  Bartender : [to the patrons]  Is there a Murray here?

  [Into the phone] 

  Bartender : I don't think he's here, pal.

  Gus : See if there's a waste of fucking life named Murray, try that.

  Bartender : [to the patrons]  Is there a fucking waste of life named Murray here?

  Murray : Gussy? Yeah that's me.

• Gus : Do you know what this family needs? A mute.

• Gus : Soooo... got any cigarettes?

  Lloyd : I don't smoke and Caroline just quit.

  Gus : Really? Just quit, huh?

  Caroline : [she nods her head yes] 

  Gus : So... where are they?

  Caroline : What do you mean?

  Gus : Where aaare they, Caroliiiiine?

  Caroline : [sighs]  They're behind the chessboard.

  Lloyd : What? You lied to me! You said you were finished!

  Caroline : I said I hadn't finished a cigarette. I take a couple drags, I don't inhale.

  Lloyd : Oh you are such a liar!

  Caroline : I am not, I said...

  Gus : [Gus is sick of the argument and pushes both of them over in thier chairs]  Did you say that you would quit, Caroline? DID YOU SAY... that you would quit?

  Caroline : [shaking her head yes] 

  Gus : YES! So that means that YOU are a liar, end of story.

  Lloyd : [chuckles thinking he's won, but Gus looks over and comes towards him] 

  Gus : [putting the gun to his head]  You saw the stop sign didn't you, Lloyd?

  [waving the gun back and forth] 

  Gus : You... saw the... stop sign... DIDN'T YOU?

  Lloyd : Y-yes, I did.

  Gus : YES! So that means that you, too, are a liar! Capital "L", small "i", small "a", small "r", period. Now shut... the fuck... up!

• Gus : [noticing John has wrapped half a roll of tape around Connie's mouth]  Hey kid, that's enough.

  John Chasseur : Are you sure this will hold?

• Gus : From now on, the only person who gets to yell is me. Why? Because I have a gun. People with guns get to do whatever they want. Married people without guns - for instance - you - DO NOT get to yell. Why? NO GUNS! No guns, no yelling. See? Simple little equation.

• Gus : Great. I just beat up Santa Claus.

• Gus : [Murray hangs the phone up just as Gus answers]  He hung up.

  Caroline : Well, he sounded upset.

  Gus : He should be. He's going to die a horrible fucking death.

  Connie Chasseur : [from downstairs, in a whiny tone]  Caroline...

  Caroline : Speaking of which.

• Lloyd : What's your name?

  Gus : Fuck you, that's my name.

• Murray : [On the phone]  How do I know this is Gussy?

  Gus : Because the next time I see you I'm gonna tear all the hair outta your balls ONE BY ONE, you fuckin' mule! How about that?

• Gus : [Trying unsuccessfully to get the family to be quiet]  Should I just shoot one of you in the foot, would that get the point across?

• Gus : The Army? What the fuck? What am I, Oswald, here?

• Lloyd : Caroline? Why don't you eat something?

  Caroline : [Drunk]  Loyd? Why don't you eat me?

  Connie Chasseur : Kids, go to into the den. This not a conversation for children.

  Rose Chasseur : It is not an apprioprate conversation for adults either.

  Gus : Where are you going?

  Rose Chasseur : To the living room. To leave you to your quilting. I be there to open presents. If my plans change I will contact you.

  Lloyd : Why don't we all go into the living room, we'll have our drink and deserts in there.

  Caroline : [to Loyd]  Phoney Bastard!

  Gus : Caroline, shut up.

  Connie Chasseur : Let's all go to the den...

  Gus : Sit down Connie sit.

  Connie Chasseur : Excuse me, I am not one of you patients.

  Gus : You're going to be somebody's patient if you don't get your ass back down in that chair.

• Gus : [into phone]  Murray! How are ya, pal?

  Murray : I'm fine Gussie. How are you?

  Gus : Oh, just a little tired after running for ten hundred

  [yells] 

  Gus : fuckin' miles because there was no fuckin' car waiting for me!

  [beats the phone against the counter numerous times, then back into phone] 

  Gus : What did I tell you? I told you to act like a drunk vagrant imbecile! Is that too much of a *fuckin'* stretch?

• Gus : I have a gun, it's loaded, shut up.

• Gus : Caroline and Loyd, will get the coffee and deserts then we'll be opening presents.

  Connie Chasseur : We can't open presents til midnight.

  Gus : Why not?

  Connie Chasseur : Because it's not Christmas until midnight!

  Gus : We'll be changing the rules, a little bit. We are opening the presents now. Not later, now. Why? We're adults, and we can open our presents, WHENEVER WE WANT!

• Caroline : He sounded upset.

  Gus : He should be. He's going to die a horrible fucking death.

• Lloyd : Why don't you just give yourself up?

  Gus : What'd you say?

  Lloyd : Well, you're not going to kill an entire family. It's over. I mean, you're not the type. You're a thief, not a killer. That's obvious.

  Gus : I hate guys like you, you know, with your Jeep Grand Cherokee's and your Nicaraguan maids and your ping-zing golf clubs. Every goddamn thing in the world handed to you. I mean, what fuckin' purpose do you people serve?

  Lloyd : You're a criminal. What possible purpose could you serve?

  Gus : Fuck you, Lloyd! I work for a living, okay? I have a skill. I'm in the game pal. What do you do except take up fuckin' space?

  Lloyd : If you're so skilled, what are you doing stuck here?

  Gus : Let me tell you something. I could break into any house, anywhere, anytime. Take whatever I want. In and out in ten minutes. No prints, no evidence. Nothing. If what's-his-name hadn't installed that fuckin' road runner booby trap I'd be in Jamaica by now.

  Lloyd : Mmm, I'm impressed.

  Gus : Nah, you people don't get impressed do you? Huh? Life just bores the shit outta you people. Well, I'm sorry. We don't all have rich mommies and daddies we can live off of or open restaurants when we get bored playing tennis.

• Rose : You must have met a great many strange and disturbed people, Dr. Wong.

  Gus : In my line of work you meet some real wackos.

  Connie Chasseur : [shocked]  You call your patients wackos?

  Gus : Yeah, they, uh, they like it.

• Rose : Where's your son?

  Lloyd : [lying]  Ah, he's spending the night with a friend.

  Connie Chasseur : On Christmas Eve?

  Rose : I think it's very strange.

  Lloyd : Well... .

  Caroline : Well, he... .

  Gus : [winging it]  Uh, actually that was my idea. Because, ah, when one is constructing highways of communication between two people, it's sometimes a good idea to, uh, clear the road and slowly introduce exit signs.

  Connie Chasseur : That's funny. I heard something very similar on Oprah last week.

• Gus : [Lloyd and Carol are arguing in the front seat]  SHUT UP! Jesus fucking Christ!

• Gus : Jesus! Cat piss!