The Advocate (1993)

Ian Holm: Albertus

Photos 

Quotes 

• Albertius : In a world where nothing is truly reasonable, nothing is truly mad.

• Richard Courtois : [of the priest's privately-expressed skepticism about witchcraft]  Would you say all that in court?

  Albertius : Richard, I like it here; it's a very nice living. Having my balls burnt off in public might take some of the pleasure out of it.

• Richard Courtois : There must be priests in Hell.

  Albertius : Can't move for them.

• Albertius : ...why, I myself saw the Bishop of Rheims pronounce the act of anathema against a swarm of locusts.

  Richard Courtois : Really? How did they take it?

  Albertius : Difficult to say with locusts.

• Albertius : Anyone who has read a book has been sent by the Almighty.

• Albertius : [things people say to him]  "Father, is it a sin to shine a candle into a dying man's eyes?" He's dying! What does it matter, you might as well shove it up his arse.

• Albertius : They knew it was only a game.

  Richard Courtois : Really? Or were one or two of them afraid you really meant it?

• Albertius : Jeannine said "Look to the boy".

  Richard Courtois : I did that and all I found was a little heap of bones and another good citizen too scared to... Wrong...?

  Albertius : Wrong boy.

• Albertius : [looking at women in the public baths]  Ah, there are sweet beasts and smelly beasts... there's a sweet one.

  Richard Courtois : I can't stop thinking about them.

  Albertius : Well, the Good Lord sent them to try us, and by Heaven he knew what he was doing.

  [ducks underwater to cool off] 

• Albertius : [to Courtois, having spooked the local Constable]  You see, it works...

• Richard Courtois : Is a pig big enough to hold a devil? How about a flea? You don't really believe what you've been saying here, do you?

  Pincheon : This is monstrous!

  Albertius : Oh I believe it, Maitre, every word.