Aladdin (1992)
Robin Williams: Genie, Peddler
Photos
Quotes
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Genie : Oi! Ten thousand years will give you such a crick in the neck.
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Genie : So, what'll it be, Master?
Aladdin : You're gonna grant me any three wishes I want, right?
Genie : [as William F. Buckley] Uh, almost. There are a few, uh, provisos, a, a couple of quid pro quos.
Aladdin : Like?
Genie : [normal] Uh, rule #1: I can't kill anybody.
[cuts his head off]
Genie : So don't ask.
Genie : [fixes his head] Uh, rule #2: I can't make anybody fall in love with anybody else.
[turns into a pair of lips and kisses Aladdin]
Genie : You little punim there.
Genie : [turns into a cross between slimy Genie and Peter Lorre] Rule #3: I can't bring people back from the dead. It's not a pretty picture. I don't like doing it!
[he returns to normal]
Genie : Other than that, you got it.
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[last lines after credits, special edition only]
Genie : You have been a fabulous audience! Tell you what, you're the best audience in the whole world. Take care of yourselves! Good night, Alice! Good night, Agrabah! Adios, amigos!
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Genie : But, oh, to be free! Not to have to go "Poof! What do you need?", "Poof! What do you need?", "Poof! What do you need?" To be my own master. Such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world! But what am I talking about? Let's get real here, it's not gonna happen. Genie, wake up and smell the hummus.
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Genie : [as a female flight attendant] Thank you for choosing Magic Carpet for all your travel needs. Don't stand until the rug has come to a complete stop. Thank you. Goodbye now. Goodbye. Goodbye. Thank you. Goodbye.
Genie : [back to normal] Well, how about that, Mr. Doubting Mustafa?
Aladdin : Oh, you sure showed me. Now, about my three wishes.
Genie : Dost mine ears deceive me? Three? You are down by one, boy!
Aladdin : Ah, no, I never actually wished to get out of the cave, huh. You did that on your own.
[Genie's mouth drops]
Genie : Oh, I feel sheepish.
[he turns into a sheep]
Genie : All right, you ba-a-a-ad boy. But no more freebies.
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Aladdin : Provisos? You mean limitations? On wishes? Huh.
[to Abu]
Aladdin : Some all powerful Genie. Can't even bring people back from the dead. I don't know, Abu. He probably can't even get us out of this cave. Looks like we're gonna have to find a way outta here.
Genie : [stomps his foot to stop Aladdin, Abu, and Carpet from leaving] Excuse me?
Genie : [scoffs]
Genie : Are you looking at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? Did you bring me here? And all of a sudden you're walking out on me? I don't think so. Not right now! YOU'RE GETTIN' YOUR WISHES, SO *SIDDOWN!*
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Merchant : [holding up an oil lamp] Do not be fooled by its commonplace appearance. Like so many things, it is not what is outside, but what is inside that counts. This is no ordinary lamp! It once changed the course of a young man's life; a young man who, like this lamp, was more than what he seemed: a diamond in the rough. Perhaps you would like to hear the tale? It begins on a dark night, where a dark man waits... with a dark purpose.
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Genie : Say, you're a lot smaller than my last master. Either that, or I'm getting bigger. Look at me from the side. Do I look different to you?
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Genie : Al, I can't help you. I work for Senor Psychopath now.
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Genie : Yo, Rugman! Haven't seen you in a few millennia. Give me some tassel.
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Genie : [leaving to travel the world] I'm history! No, I'm mythology! Nah, I don't care what I am. I'm free-hee!
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[last lines]
Genie : Made you look.
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Merchant : Welcome to Agrabah, city of mystery, of enchantment. AndthefinestmerchandisethissideoftheriverJordanonsaletoday! Come on down!
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Genie : [after explaining to Aladdin that he can grant any wish his heart desires] You ain't never had a friend like me!
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Aladdin : Hey... can you make me a prince?
Genie : [opens 'Royal Recipes' book] Uh, let's see. "Chicken à la King"?
[chuckles]
Genie : Nope. "Alaskan king crab".
[pulls out a crab clamped to his finger]
Genie : [flicking it off] Ow. I hate when they do that. "Caesar salad-"
[arm with a knife raises from the book trying to stab him]
Genie : Aah! Et tu, Brute? No. Aha! "To make a prince."
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Aladdin : Jasmine? I'm sorry I lied to you about being a prince.
Princess Jasmine : I know why you did.
Aladdin : Well, I guess... this... is goodbye?
Princess Jasmine : Oh, that stupid law. This isn't fair! I love you.
[Genie wipes away a tear from his eyes]
Genie : Al, no problem. You've still got one wish left. Just say the word, and you're a prince again.
Aladdin : But, Genie, what about your freedom?
Genie : Hey, it's only an eternity of servitude. This is love! Al, you're not gonna find another girl like her in a million years. Believe me, I know. I've looked.
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Genie : I'm telling you, nice to be back, ladies and gentlemen. Hi! Where you from? What's your name?
Aladdin : Uh... uh, Aladdin.
Genie : Aladdin! Hello, Aladdin, nice to have you on the show. Can we call you Al, or maybe just Din? Or how about Laddie?
[turns into a Scotsman]
Genie : Sounds like, 'Here, boy!'
[whistles]
Genie : 'C'mon, Laddie!'
[turns into a dog]
Aladdin : I must've hit my head harder than I thought.
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["Snake" Jafar has Aladdin in a tight squeeze]
Jafar : You little fool. You thought you could defeat the most powerful being on Earth.
Iago : Squeeze him, Jafar. Squeeze him like a- Awk!
[Genie elbows Iago and knocks him into the air]
Jafar : Without the Genie, boy, you're nothing.
Aladdin : The Genie... The Genie! The Genie has more power than you'll ever have!
Jafar : What?
Aladdin : He gave you your power. He can take it away.
Genie : [smiling uncomfortably] Al, what're you doing? Why are you bringing me into this?
Aladdin : Face it, Jafar. You're still just second best!
Jafar : [slightly shocked] You're right. His power does exceed my own. But not for long.
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Genie : [sniffs tearfully] No matter what anybody says, you'll always be a prince to me.
Sultan : That's right! You've certainly proven your worth as far as I'm concerned. It's that law that's the problem.
Princess Jasmine : Father?
Sultan : Well, am I Sultan or am I Sultan? From this day forth, the Princess shall marry whomever she deems worthy.
Princess Jasmine : Him! I choose... I choose you, Aladdin.
Aladdin : [chuckles] Call me Al.
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Genie : What would you wish of me?
[as Arnold Schwarzenegger]
Genie : The ever impressive...
[as if trapped in a box]
Genie : ... the long-contained...
[as SeÒor Wences]
Genie : ... the often immitated, but never...
[multiplies himself]
Genie : ... duplicated... duplicated... duplicated... duplicated... Genie of the Lamp!
[as Ed Sullivan]
Genie : Right here, direct from the lamp. Right here for your very much wish-fulfillment. Thank you.
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Genie : [whispers] Psst. Your line is "I'm going to free the Genie." Anytime.
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[Aladdin has tricked Jafar into wishing to be a more powerful genie than Genie]
Jafar : The universe is mine to command! To control!
Aladdin : Not so fast, Jafar! Aren't you forgetting something?
Jafar : Huh?
Aladdin : You wanted to be a genie? You got it!
[cufflinks form on Jafar's wrists]
Jafar : What?
Aladdin : And everything that goes with it.
[Aladdin holds up a black genie lamp, which sucks Jafar in]
Jafar : No! No!
Iago : I'm getting out of here!
Aladdin : Phenomenal cosmic powers...
[Iago tries to flee, but Jafar grabs him]
Iago : Come on, you're the genie. I don't want, I don't...!
[both Jafar and Iago disappear in the lamp]
Aladdin : ...itty bitty living space.
Genie : Al, you little genius, you!
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Genie : Well, Ali Baba had them forty thieves / Scheherazade had a thousand tales / But master you're in luck, 'cause up your sleeves / You got a brand of magic, never fails / You've got some power in your corner now / Some heavy ammunition in your camp / You got some punch, pizazz, yahoo and how? / See, all you gotta do is rub that lamp / And I'll say: Mr Aladdin, sir, what will your pleasure be? / Let me take your order, jot it down, you ain't never had a friend like me! / Life is your restaurant / and I'm your maitre'd! / Come on, whisper what it is you want / You ain't never had a friend like me! / Yes, sir, we pride ourselves on service / You're the boss, the king, the shah! / Say what you wish, it's yours true dish / How bout a little more baklava? / Have some of Column A / Try all of Column B / I'm in the mood, to help you dude / You ain't never had a friend like me!
[performs tricks]
Genie : Can your friends do this? Can your friends do that? / Can your friends pull this out their little hat? / Can your friends go poof? Well, looky here! / Can your friends go Abrakadabra, let her rip, and then make the sucker disappear? So don'tcha sit there slack-jawed, buggy-eyed / I'm here to answer all your midday prayers / You've got me bona-fide, certified / You got a genie for your charge d'affaires / I've got a powerful urge to help you out / So what's your wish, I really wanna know! / You've got a list that's three miles long, no doubt / Well, all you've gotta do is rub like so, and OH / Mister Aladdin sir, have a wish or two or three / I'm on the job, you big nabob / You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend / You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend / You ain't never... had a... friend... like... ME! You ain't never had a friend like me!
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Aladdin : They wanna make me Sultan. No, they wanna make Prince Ali Sultan. Without you, I'm just Aladdin.
Genie : Al, you won!
Aladdin : Because of you! The only reason anyone thinks I'm worth anything is because of you! What if they find out I'm not really a prince? What if Jasmine finds out? I'd lose her. Genie, I can't keep this up on my own! I... I can't wish you free.
Genie : [disappointed] Fine, I understand. After all, you've lied to everyone else. Hey, I was beginning to feel left out. Now, if you'll excuse me, Master...!
[disappears into lamp resentfully]
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[Aladdin is close to drowning, and his unconscious body falls and rubs against the lamp]
Genie : [appearing with a bathing cap and washing his back] Never fails. You get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp.
[squeaks rubber duckie]
Genie : Hello!
[sees Aladdin]
Genie : Al? Al! Kid! Snap out of it! Oh, you can't cheat on this one. I can't help you unless you make a wish. You have to say, "Genie, I want you to save my life." Got it? Okay!
[shakes Aladdin]
Genie : Come on, Aladdin!
[Aladdin's head droops]
Genie : I'll take that as a yes.
[he changes into a submarine and pulls Aladdin out of the sea]
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Genie : Oh, Al. I'm getting kinda fond of you, kid. Not that I wanna pick out curtains or anything.
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Genie : [as he is being released] You know, Al, I'm getting really...
[notices Jafar]
Genie : I don't think you're him.
Genie : [reading a script] Tonight the part of Al will be played by a tall, dark and sinister ugly man.
Jafar : I am your master now!
[crushes Genie under his foot]
Genie : [muffled] I was afraid of that.
Jafar : Genie, grant me my first wish. I wish to rule on high, as Sultan!
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Genie : Well, l can't do any more damage around this Popsicle stand. l'm... outta here!
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[Jafar yanks Jasmine towards him]
Jafar : It pains me to see you reduced to this, Jasmine.
[takes a bite of the apple she is holding and continues speaking, spitting pulp onto her cheek]
Jafar : A beautiful desert bloom such as yourself belongs on the arm of the most powerful man in the world.
[conjures a crown for her]
Jafar : What do you say, my dear? Why, with you as my queen...
Princess Jasmine : [throws a glass of wine in his face] Never!
Jafar : AAH! I'll teach you some respect...!
[she retreats in fear]
Jafar : ... No. Genie, I have decided to make my final wish. I wish for Princess Jasmine to fall *desperately* in love with me.
Genie : [as William F. Buckley] Uh, Master, there are a few addenda, uh, some quid pro quos...
Jafar : Don't talk back to me, you big blue lout! You will do what I order you to do, slave!
[Jasmine sees Aladdin and Abu sneak into the room, motioning for her to be quiet]
Princess Jasmine : [seductively] Jafar?
[puts on the crown]
Princess Jasmine : Hmm, I never realized how incredibly handsome you are.
[Genie's jaw drops in shock]
Jafar : Hmm, that's better.
[rolls Genie's jaw back up like a window blind]
Jafar : Now, pussycat... tell me more about myself.
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Genie : [outtake from after Genie saves Aladdin] I would've done mouth-to-mouth, but I don't find you that attractive.
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Jafar : [Genie's power transforms "Snake" Jafer into a "Genie" Jafer] Ye-eeee-es-ssss.
[the snake that surrounds the tighted Aladdin dissolves into dust, as Jasmine's hand buried by the sand of the hourglass]
Jafar : Y-eeee-es-ssss! The power.
["Genie" Jafer chuckles as Aladdin breaks the hourglass to save Jasmine]
Jafar : [o.s] The absolute,
Jafar : [breaks the roof of the palace] power!
Princess Jasmine : What have you done?
Aladdin : Trust me.
Jafar : [the power of "Genie Jafer" creates The Black Lamp] The universe is mind to command, to control!
Aladdin : Not so fast, Jafer. Aren't you forgetting something?
Jafar : Huh?
Aladdin : You wanted to be a genie? You got it!
Jafar : [the gold sheckles forms around his arms] What?
Aladdin : And everything that goes with it.
Jafar : [Aladdin uses the lamp to suck up "Genie" Jafer] No-oooo! No-oooo!
Iago : I'm getting out of there.
Jafar : [screaming overlapping; as he grabs Iago] No-oooo...!
Aladdin : [o.s] Phenomenal cosmic Powers.
Iago : Come on, you're the genie. I don't want... I- I don't want...
["Genie" Jafer and Iago has sucked up together in the lamp]
Aladdin : Itty-bitty living space.
Genie : Al -l... you little genius, you.
[Abu, the Magic Carpet, Jasmine, the Sultan and Rajah restored back to their usual themselves, along with the palace]
Jafar : [inside the lamp] Get your blasted beak out of my face.
Iago : [inside lamp] Oh, shut up, you moron.
Jafar : Don't tell me to shut up.
Genie : [as Jafer & Iago's argument continues inside the lamp, Aladdin hands the lamp to the Genie] Allow me. Ten-thousand years in a Cave of Wonders ought to chill him out.
[the Genie pricks the lamp into the desert]
Jafar : Shut,
Jafar : u-uuuu-uuuu-p...
[the purple lights flashes from the beyond the desert]
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Genie : Hey! Clear the way in the old Bazaar! Hey you! Let us through! It's a bright new star! / Oh come! Be the first on your block to meet his eye! / Make way! Here he comes! Ring bells! Bang the drums! / Are you gonna love this guy! / Prince Ali! Fabulous he! / Ali Ababwa / Genuflect, show some respect / Down on one knee! / Now try your best to stay calm, brush up your Sunday salaam / Then come and meet his spectacular coterie!
Genie : [takes on various forms] Prince Ali! Mighty is he! / Ali Ababwa / Strong as ten regular men, definitely! / He faced the galloping hordes, a hundred bad guys with swords / Who sent those goons to their lords? Why, Prince Ali! / He's got 75 golden camels / Purple peacocks, he's got 53 / When it comes to exotic-type mammals / Has he got a zoo? I'm telling you / It's a world-class menagerie!
Genie : [as a woman] Prince Ali! Handsome is he! / Ali Ababwa / That physique! How can I speak? / Weak at the knee / Well, get on out in that square, adjust your veil and prepare / to gawk and grovel and stare at Prince Ali! / He's got 95 white Persian monkeys / And to view them he charges no fee / He's got slaves, he's got servants and flunkies / They bow to his whim, love serving him / They're just lousy with loyalty to Ali! Prince Ali!
[enters the castle]
Genie : Prince Ali! Amorous he! / Ali Ababwa / Heard your princess was a sight lovely to see / And that good people is why, he got dolled up and dropped by / With 60 elephants, llamas galore / With his bears and lions / A brass band and more / With his 40 fakirs, his cooks, his bakers / His birds that warble on key / Make way for Prince Ali!
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Genie : [outtake, as a referee] Becoming a reptile, unnecessary use of reptile, five hundred year penalty!
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Genie : [outtake, as Ben Kenobi] Luke... The Force, Al. Use the force, the farce, tell a joke!
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Genie : The boy is crazy. He's a little punch-drunk - one too many hits with the snake.
