Quigley Down Under (1990)

Tom Selleck: Matthew Quigley

Photos 

Quotes 

• Major Ashley-Pitt : In our experience, Americans are uncouth misfits who should be run out of their own barbaric country.

  Matthew Quigley : Well, Lieutenant...

  Major Ashley-Pitt : Major.

  Matthew Quigley : Major. We already run the misfits outta our country. We sent 'em back to England.

• Crazy Cora : You know, if we're lost, you can tell me.

  Matthew Quigley : We're lost.

  Crazy Cora : I can take bad news. Just tell me straight.

  Matthew Quigley : I don't know where the hell we are.

  Crazy Cora : No sense takin' time to make it sound better than it is.

  Matthew Quigley : I reckon we're goin' in circles.

  Crazy Cora : Wire things up and I'll see right through. So, just tell me honestly. Are we lost?

  Matthew Quigley : Nope. I know exactly where we are.

  Crazy Cora : That's good, 'cause, frankly, I was gettin' a little worried.

  Matthew Quigley : [to himself]  Don't know where we're going, but there's no use being late.

• Elliott Marston : [O'Flynn and Dobkin prepare Quigley for an old-fashioned shootout]  I seem to remember you're not too familiar with Colonel Colt's revolver, so this will be your first lesson. Don't worry. Mr. Dobkin and Mr. O'Flynn will ensure that it's a fair contest.

  Elliott Marston : [Marston starts walking backwards]  I'll just back up a few paces... And to your left a bit, that's it... Now you're right in front of my old pistol target.

  Elliott Marston : [Marston slips his coat back to reveal his holster]  Some men are born in the wrong century. I think I was born on the wrong continent. Oh, by the way, you're fired.

  Matthew Quigley : This ain't Dodge City and you ain't Bill Hickok.

  Matthew Quigley : [Quigley shoots Dobkin, O'Flynn and Marston before they can even aim their guns, then walks up to the dying Marston]  I said I never had much use for one. Never said I didn't know how to use it.

• Matthew Quigley : Lady, you're about a half a bubble off the plumb, and that's fer sure and fer certain.

• [Quigley approaches Hobb, whom he's just shot] 

  Hobb : My back's broke...

  Matthew Quigley : You're gut-shot, Hobb. Ain't nothin' I can do for you.

  Hobb : Kill me...

  Matthew Quigley : Where's Marston's station from here? How far's the nearest town?

  Hobb : Why should I tell you?

  Matthew Quigley : 'Cause if you don't, I'll let you live. Y'know, I'm new here, so I'm kinda curious. D'you think the dingoes'll get you first, or the ants?

  Hobb : Don't leave me like this, Quigley! Marston's station's two days' ride southwest. Nikitanga's only twenty miles past the billabong...

  Matthew Quigley : Talk straight, goddammit, or I'll get the ants myself.

  Hobb : It's a town. A day's ride past a dry riverbed. That way. Now, finish me.

  [Quigley hands Hobb a six-shooter. Hobb aims it at Quigley] 

  Matthew Quigley : You got one shot left in that shooter. Make the most of it.

• Elliott Marston : Ah-ha. The legendary Sharps.

  Matthew Quigley : You know your weapons. It's a lever-action breech-loader. Usual barrel length's thirty inches. This one has an extra four. It's converted to use a special forty-five caliber, hundred-and-ten-grain metal cartridge, with a five-hundred-forty-grain paper patch bullet. It's fitted with double-set triggers, and a Vernier sight, marked up to twelve-hundred yards. This one shoots a mite further.

  Elliott Marston : An experimental weapon with experimental ammunition.

  Matthew Quigley : You could call it that.

  Elliott Marston : Let's experiment.

• Crazy Cora : I don't want you to go.

  Matthew Quigley : You sure look pretty in that new blue dress.

  Crazy Cora : If you go after Marston, he'll kill you.

  Matthew Quigley : [addressing the baby Cora is holding]  Kid, next time she talks like that, pee all over the dress.

• Crazy Cora : I remember once my Granddaddy told me how, when you're lost in the desert, you should sleep during the day and walk at night.

  Matthew Quigley : Your Granddaddy tell you that? Did he also tell you we'll die, in the the desert, without those horses?

  Crazy Cora : Well, what good are horses, if we die of thirst?

  Matthew Quigley : Once in a while she actually makes a little sense.

  Crazy Cora : What did you say, Roy?

  Matthew Quigley : Never mind.

• Crazy Cora : Things seem different here. They say God made Australia last, don't you know, after he got tired of making everything else the same.

  Matthew Quigley : Well, I seen some pretty country, that's for certain.

• Matthew Quigley : [looking at grubs]  I don't eat things that are still movin'.

  Crazy Cora : Gonna shoot it first?

• Matthew Quigley : What's my name today?

  Crazy Cora : Matthew Quigley, same as any other day.

  Matthew Quigley : How's about you and me taking off all our clothes and go swimmin'?

  [they are in the middle of a desert] 

  Crazy Cora : What are you crazy? There ain't no water

  [Quigley looks at her and smiles] 

  Crazy Cora : Why *shame* on you!

  Matthew Quigley : Well you? Well, what about last night? You...

  Crazy Cora : I what?

  Matthew Quigley : Oh, never mind.

• Elliott Marston : You familiar with the Army Revolver, Mr. Quigley?

  Matthew Quigley : Well, sir, I never had much use for one.

  Elliott Marston : It's a recent invention of your countryman, Col. Colt.

  Matthew Quigley : God created all men. They say Sam Colt made them equal... more or less.

• Matthew Quigley : [to Cora]  You sure are pretty in the mornin' sun.

• Crazy Cora : I'm cold.

  Matthew Quigley : Well, you got the blanket.

  Crazy Cora : Well... maybe we could share it tonight? There's something I wanna talk to you about.

  Matthew Quigley : If we do... there'll be something I wanna talk to you about.

  Crazy Cora : [Cora moves closer and starts undressing, before lying down next to Quigley]  When summer comes, let's drag up some wood for a real cabin. 'Cuz Roy, sod walls look...

  Matthew Quigley : [cuts her off]  Matthew.

  Matthew Quigley : [sits her up]  Matthew Quigley. I ain't sharing my bed 'til I'm certain you know who's in it. Now say it.

  Crazy Cora : ...If we had a wood cabin, we could get glass windows.

  Matthew Quigley : [sighs]  We'll see.

• Crazy Cora : I got something I wanna say to you.

  Matthew Quigley : I got a couple of thing I wanna say to you, too.

  Crazy Cora : Remember, once, you told me before you'd make love to me I'd have to say two words?

  Matthew Quigley : What's that?

  Crazy Cora : 'Matthew Quigley'!

• Crazy Cora : [Sitting next to Quigley around a campfire and looks at an aborigine child]  That little girl is so darling!

  Matthew Quigley : She sure is.

  Crazy Cora : Not as darling as Roy Jr. though.

  Matthew Quigley : Oh God almighty, lady, not another Roy...

  [picks up some food] 

  Matthew Quigley : Well, I don't know about you, but my stomach thinks my throat's been cut.

  Crazy Cora : Roy was hunting sage hens when the Comanches came. I grabbed the baby and a pistol and I hid in the root cellar out back. The Indians tore up our sod house. and I was real quiet, but then the baby started cryin'. I tried to shush him and suckle him, but he just wouldn't stop. One Comanche, I remember, he was acting real drunk and wore my green apron, and he must have heard somethin'. He started hollerin' and coming closer. So I put my hand gentle-like over my baby's mouth. 'Don't cry, daddy'll be home soon'. The indians found us, but they just laughed. They was drunk, didn't wanna hurt anybody, and rode away... At sundown, Roy came back, but I was still afraid to come out of the the cellar. I was afraid what he'd do when he saw I'd smothered our son...

  Crazy Cora : [turns to her dress]  I oughta find some way to mend this petticoat. Look at that. Roy... he just buried the baby, put me in the wagon, and we went 70 miles to Galveston withount stopping. He never said a word... Put me on the first ship he found. it was heading to Australia. And he said 'don't want no woman who would kill my son to save herself'. And he turned and he walked away and he never looked back. I know, 'cuz I watched him to see if he would...

  Crazy Cora : [turns back to fiddling with her dress]  This thing is just fallin' apart...

• Matthew Quigley : Tell me about the dingoes. Ten pounds a month for shooting wild dogs seems like a whole lot for not much. 'Sides, you got enough men and guns outside to kill every dingo within ten miles of here. Unless you're talking about deserters?

  Elliott Marston : Did you know that your American Indian is a race that has no word for 'wheel'? No concept of farming, No understanding of land ownership.

  Matthew Quigley : Is that a fact?

  Elliott Marston : But from what I hear, you found a solution to that problem in your country.

  Matthew Quigley : I guess that depends on whether you're an indian or not.

  Elliott Marston : You see, in many ways, our two nations are quite similar. We both brought civilization to the stone age. Unfortunatly, in this country we have failed in one regard. We have been unable to domesticate the most backwards people on earth: The Australian Aborigene.

  Elliott Marston : [Catches Quigley glancing at his Aborigine manservant]  Don't mind him. He's harmless.

  Elliott Marston : [pause]  My parents were slaughtered by Aborigines, Mr. Quigley. They attacked so fast, my mother was found dead still holding her sewing. Nowadays, they butcher our sheep and cattle. Her Majesty's government allows settlers to deal with the matter in their own way. This official policy is called 'Pacification by Force'. But the real issue is that, primitive as they are, the Aborigines have learned to keep out of rifle range. Which brings us to you, Mr. Quigley.

• Elliott Marston : Whitey! Take that bucket and ride out until I signal.

  Elliott Marston : [Whitey rides off with the bucket]  Tell me when you want him to stop.

  Slattern : [Quigley calmly prepares his rifle, as the rider gets further and further]  Your man able to hit something that far away?

  Crazy Cora : I don't know him. I never saw him before.

  Worker : [Quigley keeps adjusting his rifle]  He'd have to be a good shot alright...

  Matthew Quigley : ...'Bout there'll do.

  [Marston fires his pistol and the rider places the bucket on the ground] 

  O'Flynn : [whispering]  Bullshit.

  Elliott Marston : [Quigley carefully takes aim and prepares to fire]  Are you certain, Mr. Quigley, that you wouldn't like the bucket a bit closer?

  Matthew Quigley : [Quigley pauses, then fires the rifle, piercing the bucket]  Quite certain.

  [reloads and fires two more shots in quick succesion, hitting the bucket both times] 

  Crazy Cora : Told ya! Only my Roy could hit a coyote at that distance!

• Elliott Marston : Matthew Quigley.

  [holds out his hand] 

  Elliott Marston : Elliot Marston. Welcome to Australia.

  Matthew Quigley : Well, sir, your men already welcomed me.

  Elliott Marston : Coogan! Mr. Quigley's luggage. Take it to the lodge.

  Matthew Quigley : Mr. Marston, you said you'd pay me 50 dollars in gold coin just for showing up.

  Elliott Marston : Don't waste much time?

  Matthew Quigley : I spent three months on a boat, just getting here.

  Elliott Marston : [Hands Quigley the money]  You intruiged me, Mr. Quigley. Twenty-one men answered my advertisment, from all over the world. Canada, India, England. They just wrote letters. But you... had a way with words.

  [shows a newpaper clipping with six bullet holes through, and the words M. Quigley, 900 yards] 

  Elliott Marston : My advertisment simply stated I wanted to hire the greatest long distance marksman in the world. Have I?

• Matthew Quigley : When do we get to Marston's ranch?

  Coogan : We've been on his bloody land for the last two days.