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6 out of 9 people found the following review useful: One of the most godawful movies ever made...., 22 October 2005 Author: Miss_Misery1313 from USA
Several years ago I was wandering the video store and the box for this movie caught my eye. It featured a big burly guy with plastic fangs looming over a busty lady. I knew it would be terrible, but some sick twisted perverted sense of curiosity made me rent it. I'm still having nightmares.What we have here folks is a classic case of "lets get a video camera, some friends, and use the money we found in the sofa cushions as a budget" school of film-making. No plot, no lighting, no directing, no acting, and no script. We have our vampire cop hero who can sometimes be seen trying to keep the plastic fangs from popping out of his mouth. He also hangs upside and we are treated to the lovely sight of his deodorant all clumped up in his armpit hair (and no I'm not making this up). Next we have the villain who seems to thing he's Sir Laurence Olivier reborn. The we have the reporter chick who drops her top at the drop of a hat. And the world's longest drawn-out slo-mo scene that will make you curse the day slo-mo was invented.You've been warned.
5 out of 8 people found the following review useful: A little bite, but not a big one, 8 October 2002 Author: Dook Sphincter (zpluscinema@yahoo.com) from Seattle, WA
So it's not a great movie. What do you expect with a title used as a joke on "Just Shoot Me"? Exactly. And don't worry, the title isn't something cryptic or deep and metaphorical, this is just a movie about a vampire cop, who kills vampires and fools around with foxy reporter Melissa Moore, semi-famous scream queen of the 90's. Sorry, there's really not much to tell. It's not a good film, but it's not unwatchable. In fact, it might be a good date movie. Picture this: you've got a hot date, but not much money, so you suggest renting a movie. She coerces you into a romantic comedy, you get her to go for the horror opus, namely "Vampire Cop." After finishing the chick flick, you start watching VC and she's all like "This is a horrible movie!" and you're like "You're a horrible movie!" and she says "You are!", and bada-bing, you start making out. So maybe Vampire Cop isn't so bad after all, huh?
3 out of 6 people found the following review useful: Completely awful, 20 September 2004 Author: Dudleytown from Montreal, Canada
Whenever I see a bad film, I always wonder to myself, "did the director actually watch the film and say, 'hey, we got something here?'" because after watching Vampire Cop, I found absolutely nothing redeeming about it. The acting was a joke, which is forgivable in an B horror film, but what is not forgivable is horrendous editing. You can take 10 years if you want to edit a film properly, it's just as important as anything else.Cinematography was embarrassing. All this maybe due to the fact of time constraints, low budget and other things which we are not aware of, but does it really make sense narratively to have a scene on a clear summer night, then cut to a scene which is taking place at the exact same time in the exact same city, and have it teeming down with rain?Wow, one must see this film to comprehend. Just very bad.
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