Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)
Michelan Sisti: Michaelangelo, Pizza Man
Photos
Quotes
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Michaelangelo : [watching Aesop and Son - "Tortoise and the Hare" on TV] Go! Move it, will ya? Aw, you're letting him blow right by ya! Can you believe this guy? Come on! Don't just...! Ninja-kick the damn rabbit! Do something!
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[last lines]
Leonardo : We were awesome!
Michaelangelo : Bodacious!
Raphael : Bitchin'!
Donatello : Uh...
Michaelangelo : Gnarly!
Leonardo : Radical!
Raphael : Totally tubular, dude!
Michaelangelo : Wicked!
Leonardo : Hellacious!
Donatello : Uh, mega...
[Splinter clears his throat, the Turtles clam up]
Splinter : I have always liked... Cowabunga.
Leonardo , Michaelangelo , Raphael , Donatello : COWABUNGA!
Splinter : [laughs] I made a funny!
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Delivery Man : [searching for Michaelangelo's address] OK, 122... 122 1/8? 122 1/8. Terrific. Where the heck is 122 1/8?
Michaelangelo : [through the sewer grate] You're standing on it, Dude! Just pass it down here!
[the Delivery Man passes pizza through the grate, and $10 is passed up]
Delivery Man : Gimme that!... Hey, this is a $10! The tab's $13!
Michaelangelo : You're two minutes late, dude!
Delivery Man : Oh, come on, I couldn't find the place!
Michaelangelo : Wise man say: "Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza."
Delivery Man : [walks away] I gotta get a new route. And I thought I delivered everywhere...
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Michaelangelo : God, I LOVE *BEING A TURTLE*!
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Michaelangelo : Oh man, I could go for a little deep dish action right about now.
Danny : I had some pizza here the other day. There might be some left over.
[Donatello takes a look]
Michaelangelo : Well?
Donatello : Question!
Michaelangelo : Grrr, yeah?
Donatello : Do you like penicillin on your pizza?
Michaelangelo : Doh!
[Donatello and Michelangelo start humming "Taps" and set the pizza aside]
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Michaelangelo : [Leonardo slices up pizza] Yes, friends, the new turbo ginsu. Wa-hoo! It dices, it slices, and it makes French fries and three different...
[a pizza slice lands on Splinter's head]
Michaelangelo : WHOOPS.
Splinter : Kids.
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Donatello : We were awesome.
Michaelangelo : Yes, Dudes and Dudettes, major-league butt-kicking is back in town.
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[a member of the Foot pulls out a nunchuk]
Michaelangelo : Oh, a fellow chucker, eh?
[engages in a contest with the Foot Ninja, and wins]
Michaelangelo : Keep practicing!
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Michaelangelo : [sees that Raph has brought home an unconscious April] Can we keep her?
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Leonardo : [of Shredder, who just showed up] Can anyone tell me who or what this is?
Michaelangelo : Don't know, but I bet it never has to look for a can-opener.
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[fighting Foot Soldiers]
Michaelangelo : Hey Donny, looks like this one is suffering from SHELL shock!
Donatello : Too derivative.
Michaelangelo : Well, I guess we can really SHELL it out!
Donatello : Too cliché.
Michaelangelo : Well, it was a SHELL of a good hit!
Donatello : I like it!
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Leonardo : Awesome!
Michaelangelo : Righteous!
Donatello : Bossa Nova!
[Leonardo and Michaelangelo look at Donatello]
Michaelangelo : Dude, "Bossa Nova"?
Donatello : Chevy Nova?
[Leonardo and Michaelangelo groan]
Donatello : Excellent!
[Leonardo and Michaelangelo cheer in approval; Raphael walks sullenly behind them]
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April O'Neil : My nearest neighbors are about four miles away. I need to get to a phone and call my boss.
Casey Jones : You mean Charles?
April O'Neil : Yes; how did you know that?
Casey Jones : He left a message on your machine, uh, just before we got out...
April O'Neil : And?
Casey Jones : Well, hey, you just saved yourself an eight-mile round-tripper. Um... You were fired.
April O'Neil : I just saved myself?
Casey Jones : [oblivious to the dark tone] Mm-hm.
Donatello , Michaelangelo : Uh-oh.
April O'Neil : What did you do? Did you take classes in insensitivity?
Casey Jones : I was just trying to break it to you easy.
April O'Neil : Oh, well you FAILED miserably...
Casey Jones : Hey, broadzilla, you wouldn't even be standin' here if it weren't for me, okay?
April O'Neil : Oh, well what do you want? You want a thank you?
Casey Jones : ...No. It's me who should thank you for that privilege, right?
April O'Neil : Fine!
Casey Jones : Yeah.
April O'Neil : Thank you.
Casey Jones : No, thank YOU!
April O'Neil : You're welcome!
Casey Jones : YOU'RE welcome!
[they go into two separate rooms and slam the doors]
Donatello : Gosh, it's kinda like Moonlighting, isn't it?
[Michaelangelo nods]
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Donatello : Nice night.
Michaelangelo : Mm-hm. Pizza dude's got thirty seconds.
Donatello : Mm-hm. Hey Mikey, did you ever think about what Splinter said tonight? I mean about what it would be like... You know, not having him?
Michaelangelo : Hmm... Time's up, three bucks off!
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The Shredder : [confronting the turtles] You fight well... in the old style. But you've caused me enough trouble. Now you face: the Shredder.
Donatello : The Shredder?
Michaelangelo : Uuh... maybe all that hardware's for making coleslaw.
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[Foot Soldiers broke in through windows]
Michaelangelo : Boy, and I thought insurance salesmen were pushy!
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April O'Neil : I'd like to invite you all in but I really don't have anything to offer you guys except for some... frozen pizza.
Michaelangelo : [springs up from the manhole like a jack-in-the-box] Let's go for it!
Donatello : You said the magic word.
April O'Neil : You guys eat pizza?
Michaelangelo , Donatello : Doesn't everybody?
April O'Neil : Um, yeah... alright.
Leonardo : [from below] Hey, did she say pizza?
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Donatello : Good thing these guys aren't lumberjacks.
Michaelangelo : No joke. The only thing safe in the woods... would be the trees!
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[fighting Foot Soldiers]
Leonardo : One of these guys must know where they're holding Splinter, so don't knock them all out.
Michaelangelo : [getting beat] I don't think that will be a problem, Leo.
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[Michaelangelo jumps out of nowhere, startling April]
Michaelangelo : That was close. Whoa, time to switch to decaf, April.
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Michaelangelo : Hey Donny, Wheel of Fortune, Dude.
[spins around on his shell, knocking down several Foot Soldiers]
Donatello : Hmm, I guess they're not game show fans.
Michaelangelo : And I thought everybody loved Vanna.
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April O'Neil : So, what do you guys like on your pizza?
Michaelangelo : Oh, just the regular stuff: flies, stink bugs... It was a joke.
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[after easilly defeating dozens of foot soldiers, the turtles are suddenly getting decimated by their leader, Shredder]
Michaelangelo : [Out of breath] Okay... At what point... did we lose... control, here?
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April O'Neil : Will I ever see you guys again?
Michaelangelo : Indubitably!
Leonardo : Well, that depends on how fast you restock your pizza.
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Casey Jones : [to the Foot soldiers of Raph] You guys mind telling me what you're doing to my little green pal over there, hm?
[sees April]
Casey Jones : Oh, who is the babe?
Leonardo : Who the heck is that?
Michaelangelo : Wayne Gretzky on steroids?
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Raphael : Where's Splinter?
The Shredder : Ah, the rat. So it has a name...
[remembering his order to kill Splinter]
The Shredder : It HAD a name.
Leonardo : [furiously pushes past the other turtles] You LIE!
The Shredder : Do I?
The Shredder : [Leo lunges at Shredder, who trips him up with his spear and pins him to the ground] He dies! Weapons!
[the turtles grasp their weapons]
The Shredder : NOW!
[Mike, Don and Raph chuck their weapons over the side of the building]
The Shredder : Fools. Ha, ha. The three of you may have overpowered me with the loss of but one! Now your fate... will be HIS!
Michaelangelo , Donatello , Raphael : NOOOO!
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April O'Neil : Are you guys sure you know where you're going?
Michaelangelo : 11th and Bleeker?
[Sniffs the air]
Michaelangelo : Nope, this is only 9th St. Ha ha! Get it?
April O'Neil : Yeah.
Michaelangelo : Okay!
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Michaelangelo : [after being beaten by the Shredder] Now, exactly at what point... did we lose control here?
Donatello : Maybe somebody ought to tell him that we're the good guys.
Raphael : Any thoughts?
Leonardo : I've only got one thought. This guy knows where Splinter is.
[the four Turtles charge at Shredder]
