Life Is Sweet (1990)

Jim Broadbent: Andy

Quotes 

• Wendy : Get in that toilet and do a wee. Blimey, look. This is the seat. I don't want me carpet all soaking wet. And close the door! You've got two daughters! What's a matter with ya?

  Andy : That's what's a matter with me. I've got two daughters

• Patsy : [in a pub after a few beers]  Far as I'm concerned, football died, the day Arsenal won the double.

  Andy : That's right, yeah.

  Patsy : What was they? Work horses.

  Andy : Boring buggers, ain't they.

  Patsy : Well the Spurs double team? They was artists.

  Andy : They was artists.

  Patsy : 21 quid a week they got. Can you imagine? What do they get today? Millions.

  Andy : And they got their back handers on top of that ain't they.

  Patsy : Poncing round the penalty area with their handbags.

  Andy : Prima donnas.

  Patsy : "Oh, he kicked a me, Ref."

  Andy : Brown, Baker, Henry,

  [both] 

  Andy : Blanchflower

  Patsy : Yeah, Danny boy.

  Andy : Yeah.

  Patsy : He was the architect of the modern game, y'know.

  Andy : That's right, yeah.

  Patsy : Norman, Mackay, Jones, White, Smith, Allen,

  [both] 

  Patsy : Dyson.

  Andy : Yeah, come on you Spurs.

  Patsy : John White, what a player, eh.

  Andy : Yeah.

  Patsy : I used to have a little picture of him on my wall, ringed in black.

  Patsy : Tragic. What a way to go.

  Andy : Struck by lightening.

  Patsy : On a golf course.

  Andy : What a waste, eh. You want another?

• Andy : Tell you, you want to watch out for Aubrey in that kitchen. He'll come up behind you with a cucumber.

  Wendy : [laughs]  Listen, I don't think it'll be a cucumber he'll be coming up behind me with.

• Nicola : I'm not going to waste my life.

  Andy : No? What're you doing now then? Contributing a great deal aren't you sitting around on your arse all day.

  Nicola : Yeah, well I'm thinking about it.

  Andy : Oh yeah thinking about it that's the easy bit isn't it? Anyone can do that. It's doing it that's difficult.

• Andy : Take my word for it - that is an evil spoon.

• Patsy : Sorry to bother you on a Sunday like but, eh, I was wondering if Andy was in?

  Andy : Yeah.

  Patsy : Only I was hoping to catch him down in the boozer like but I got a bit held up.

• Nicola : It's ecologically unsound!

  Andy : You're ecologically unsound.

• Nicola : You're behaving like a big kid!

  Andy : Don't be cheeky.

• Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner : To be totally honest, Andy, I think Wendy will be a natural, y'know. She's got such grace and charm.

  Wendy : Thank you, Aubrey.

  Andy : Excuse me are we talking about the same girl?

  Wendy : [laughs]  Don't be rotten.

• Andy : Where's she going?

  Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner : Flipping Prague!

  Wendy : Awww, that's not right.

  Andy : No, that's not on, mate.

  Wendy : No, sorry.

  Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner : It's great, isn't it? You give someone a break, a chance to better themselves, an opportunity to enter into a brave new venture, and what do they do? Piss off to Poland!

  Wendy : Well, that's typical Aussie isn't it? Travelers.

  Andy : Students.

  Wendy : It's Czechoslovakia isn't it, Prague?

  Andy : Yeah, is it?

• Wendy : Now, listen, you're in trouble, right? And I'm helping you out. 'Cause that's what friends are for. That's right, isn't it Andy?

  Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner : It's it's amazing!

  Andy : But you haven't even done bar work Wendy, let's be honest.

  Wendy : No, but I'm confident. I can have a go.

  Andy : Let's face it, have you ever been a waitress?

  Wendy : No.

  Andy : No.

  Wendy : But, I've been waiting on you all these years haven't I? So?

• Andy : This has inspired me. I want to get back get down to work, get stuck in.

  Wendy : Pigs might fly.

• Natalie : Staying in?

  Andy : Yeah.

  Wendy : Yeah, he's got to save up now. Pay for this heap of what's it.

  Natalie : So long as he's happy.

• Andy : I feel like Princess Margaret.