Alienator (1990) User Reviews

Revenge of the large transvestite with a gun

[joe-375 · 2/10 · 3 September 1999]

Well, I had to be generous and give this a 2. This was mainly due to the gratuitous holes cut in that lady's shirt where her breasts are. I found that mildly amusing. Other than that, this movie does nothing more than provide a few good laughs with a friend. Funny if you're willing to throw "mystery science theatre" comments at it with someone, but it ain't no better than a 2. And a 2 pretty much sucks.

Alienator

[Scarecrow-88 · 2/10 · 2 June 2007]

Typically terrible trash from director Fred Olen Ray about a female cyborg hunter(Teagan)commissioned by Warden Jan-Michael Vincent to find and execute escaped alien convict Ross Hagen who has charted course for earth. Soon Forest Ranger John Phillip Law will have to protect a group of obnoxiously hammy college kids headed by the grating Richard Wiley who ran over Hagen with his RV on a camping trip gone awry. Soon the cyborg will be blasting away with her arm laser burning one innocent alcoholic Doctor(Robert Quarry of Count Yorga-Vampire fame)proving that no one will stand in it's way of retrieving the hide of the convict, whose collar is a tracking device that weakens his body. Law finds an ally in Leo Gordon, an old Vietnam war vet with way too weapons stashed in his cabin.

Perhaps intentionally made awful, this features what fans of "rancid cinema" yearn for..dreadful special effects, acting, and premise. At least, the film has PJ Soles for some eye candy..even in '89, she was quite smokin'. That laser gun sure is funny..it can incinerate some houses yet when the Cyborg shoots at Law it barely leaves a mark on the location fired.

When you're in a hole, maybe you should stop digging.

[Zombified_660 · 2/10 · 16 August 2005]

For the initial 20 minutes or so (I was watching it on a PS2 so I've really no idea how long it took) Alienator sets up an interesting premise. I don't think I've seen a slasher movie with an alien from another planet as the baddie before. However, interest soon turns into stunned disbelief as you realise the 'alien' is a huge body-builder woman in a steel bikini. Yes, Alienator is patently ridiculous.

Don't think I hold that against it. In the world of shlock-horror, patently ridiculous can often be a good sign. However, the blatant stupidity of its premise is all the movie really has going for it. Alienator is funny as hell, but it is also a shambolic suckfest of the highest order. Actors heap on failed attempts at seriousness, potentially genius lines of pure cheese dialogue are stumbled over with unnerving incompetence and the direction fails to sum up even one or two decent set-pieces. By the time the movie's finished you can barely see the original concept through the haystack of total tripe the team piled on it.

Add to this the fact that the 'Alien' just kills people by vaporising them, as opposed to doing any 'slashing' as such and you have a giant throbbing heap of good ideas being left to rot. You'll laugh at Alienator, but AT it, not with it. If that's your thing then go ahead and check it out.

I've seen worse

[erik-137 · 27 November 2002]

Ok, I admit I'm something of a nut for bad movies. And this dog certainly falls into that category with a vengance. But those who even *think* this compares to the worst movie of all time - or even comes close - really need to watch more bad movies. The perennial favorite 'worst movie of all time' (Plan 9 from Space) is definately worse than this (though it's not the worst movie).

THis movie is great if you like bad movies, and even better if you like to MST your own. If you expect Gone with the Wind or even such dreck as "Angels in the Outfield", this is not for you.

Not really all that bad...

[Hey_Sweden · 5/10 · 22 April 2013]

...It just ain't that good. Prolific B movie director Fred Olen Ray has certainly done better. Despite the efforts of a very solid B movie cast, it fails to ever be as much fun as it should be.

Part of the problem is that Ray never is able to get much momentum going. "Alienator" plods too much for this sort of thing, it's full of nondescript characters, it's not much for continuity, its special effects are something less than special, and when all is said and done it ends with more of a whimper than a bang.

Too bad; the premise had some potential. A typically dull Jan-Michael Vincent plays a cranky warden on a prison spaceship who has one of his prisoners, a rebel leader named Kol (Ross Hagen) escape from him. So what he does is send Amazonian 'hunter unit' The Alienator (played by female bodybuilder Teagan Clive) after the fugitive, who's crash landed on Earth and made contact with some hapless Earthlings, including forest ranger Ward Armstrong (John Phillip Law).

Clive is quite a sight, and she does what she has to do well enough, although her character is nowhere near as cool or memorable as Arnold Schwarzeneggers' The Terminator. Her right hand and arm are encased in a laser weapon that weirdly sets its first victim on fire but then just makes the rest of the victims disappear.

The assemblage of talent here is truly impressive: also in the cast are P.J. Soles (wearing an oddly revealing outfit), Dawn Wildsmith, Richard Wiley, Jesse Dabson, and Dyana Ortelli; Wiley plays the most utterly insufferable of the various humans. Fox Harris (to whom the movie is dedicated) and Hoke Howell play a knuckle head pair of hunters, and it's a treat to see such veterans as Robert Clarke, Leo Gordon, and Robert Quarry (although Quarry, sadly, doesn't get to do a whole lot.) Horror fans will be delighted to see Joseph Pilato (a.k.a. Captain Rhodes from Romeros' "Day of the Dead") in a small role as a technician.

The location shooting in Topanga Canyon is fine, but otherwise this movie is underwhelming. Ray just doesn't give it much pizazz. If you're a very undemanding schlock lover, you may get some entertainment out of it, but it will likely bore most other viewers.

Five out of 10.

not nearly as campy fun as the film Fred made previous to this

[movieman_kev · 4/10 · 6 May 2006]

Kol, space prisoner on space death row, manages to hijack a space shuttle and escape to the woods of America where he, along with some new found friend try to escape from the 'Alienator" a female cyborg killing machine. Made one year after the best movie of Fred Olen Ray's career, "Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers", this one can't help but feel like a bit of a letdown. Just as low-budget as that earlier film, but not nearly as fun as I had with it. None of the actors really stood out at me. The film is alright for the undiscriminating viewer during a rainy Saturday afternoon, but that's pretty much all it's good for.

My Grade: D+

Where i saw it: Showtime Thriller

Wait, please kill me

[Kai-18 · 1/10 · 24 October 1999]

Recipe for one of the worst movies of all time: a she-male villain who looks like it escaped from the WWF, has terrible aim with a gun that has inconsistent effects (the first guy she shoots catches on fire but when she shoots anyone else they just disappear) and takes time out to pet a deer. Then you got the unlikable characters, 30 year old college students, a lame attempt at a surprise ending and lots, lots more. Avoid at all costs.

It Met My Low Expectations

[gavin6942 · 4/10 · 2 July 2008]

Intergalactic criminal Kol (Ross Hagen) has been sentenced to death and awaits execution on a spaceship designed for just such a purpose. But tonight there's going to be a jailbreak, and Kol flees on a conveniently-placed escape pod and flies towards Earth (which apparently is nearby). There he confronts a group of "teenagers" (who look thirty) and a game warden (John Phillip Law), who help protect him from his worst nightmare... the bounty hunter and executioner android (or more properly "gynoid") the Alienator.

From the cover of the box, I was confident this was going to be an awful movie. But, as awful as it turned out to be, it was a ton of fun as well (probably at least partially because I was watching it with someone who happens to be intensely awesome). The director (Fred Olen Ray), who has specialized in making over one hundred low-grade films (most notably "Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers"), does what he does best and throws together a plot that only half makes sense and gives us rudimentary special effects. Bonus: P.J. Soles appears (as "Tara"), obviously at a low point in her career.

Sure, there's plot holes. Why are there hillbilly rednecks in California (allegedly Los Angeles County if I understood the warden correctly). What's up with the space woman's tacky blouse? Why is there a subplot about the ship captain forcefully trying to win her heart when this story goes nowhere? What the heck is "Quadrant 5"? How does chicken wire create an electromagnetic field that will short-circuit an android, yet land mines do virtually nothing? Why does Kol look like a drunk, Native American football player with emphysema? And the Lund guy (Robert Clarke)... does his character even have a point? Does the game he plays with the captain have a point? Does this movie have a point? But the biggest mystery is the android (or gynoid) the Alienator, played by Teagan Clive. What is an "alienator"? Why does it look like Daryl Hannah from "Blade Runner", only much larger? Because, see, if something is a cyborg, it's part human. But if it's an android, it's all machine. This was an android, so there was no reason to make it look human. It could have looked like anything. Yet, the person who designed her made her the size of a linebacker, with David Bowie's hair and a leotard that shows me just a little too much. If you're going to make a female android, wouldn't the purpose be to have her be seductive and lure enemies in? Mission not accomplished. They say beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, but I think I found a huge exception.

If "Mystery Science Theater 3000" were still around today, this film would be on a very short list of movies that need to get harangued.

Beyond the butt-nasty Alienator (sorry, Teagan, female weight lifters are gross) the film is alright. Maybe there's not much of a story and maybe the characters aren't really very interesting. And maybe the scene with the deer is incredibly adorable for no particular reason -- what use does a killer robot have with a deer? But overall, I actually liked the movie. I won't be pimping it out to my friends or running out to my local video store to pick up the latest DVD copy (which I'm sure is just packed with amazing special features -- not). But I consider seeing this movie time well spent and look forward to similar adventures in the future.

Evil escapes from the executioner.

[michaelRokeefe · 2/10 · 19 August 2006]

Throw this lame dog a bone. Sooo bad...you may watch anyway. Kol(Ross Hagen)is an intergalactic bad guy that escapes being vaporised by an over zealous spaceship commander(Jan-Michael Vincent). Kol manages to steal a shuttle that crash lands on Earth. An unstoppable android killer is sent to bring back the villain dead or alive. John Phillip Law plays a forest/park ranger that urges caution in dealing with these two visitors from far, far away. Costumes are outrageous and the script is lacking intelligence. Vincent surely took the money and ran. Law shows the only sign of effort.So bad it is almost comical. Also in the cast: Dyana Ortelli, P.J. Soles and Dawn Wildsmith.

Sci-fi movie that sets the modern "standard" in the tradition of "Plan 9 from Outer Space"

[dpoen · 1/10 · 10 March 2001]

Music that grinds on the nerves like fingernails on a blackboard, acting that is so zombielike it was a shame to waste the cast by not making a second movie; casting everyone in it as true zombies---with the cast of Sabrina the Teenaged Witch as the heroes... a movie so downright awful that if "stoners" were still around it might be considered a cult movie---but, oh so amateurish, the scripts might as well have been carried around by the actors, their lines read as they slowly shuffled through the movie---banal, illogical sets modeled after LA subdivisions, props straight from ToysRus! Was a movie ever made that is so completely and totally inept??? Logic flies to the wind in this plodding, senseless, pointless and with a "monster" so stupid and uncoordinated that it couldn't catch a turtle in an icebox---lowcut, leggy---and amazon! It kept my attention all the way through; the way a terrible, ongoing chain accident in the fog involving multiple vehicles keeps one watching to the very end... as, after a ridiculous ray-gun fight in a prison on another planet, a pneumaticaly-disadvantaged sexy and mentally unbalanced bounty hunter chases a retarded extra-terrestrial fugitive---TO EARTH! Don't let anybody p**s on your popcorn, you might actually enjoy watching this one. It's that bad!

Does anyone know what an alienator is exactly?

[gridoon · 5/10 · 10 October 2003]

Passable low-budget sci-fi. If you're in the least familiar with the name "Fred Olen Ray", you'll have no great expectations before viewing "Alienator" - and you won't be disappointed afterwards. Logic is faulty and inconsistent, but the effects are engagingly cheap and as the title "character", the buff-looking Teagan cuts a striking figure in her "futuristic"/punk rock gear and hairdo. (**)

A Little Late But It Works!

[D_R_A_C_U_L_A1 · 7/10 · 7 September 2003]

This movie does not look like it was made in '89 or 88, it looks like a mid eighties movie, I was a little surprised when I seen that it was released in '89. The acting is typical of a mid '80's movie and same with the effects, but this is my favorite thing about this movie. I love 80's movies and this one is great, it has some comedic moments and the typical futuristic look on the space ship. I really enjoyed this movie all around, Fred Olen Ray is great low budget Director and deserves some more recognition for his work.

If you don't like cheesy 80's movies then don't rent this one, but if you are like me and like to have a good time watching some classic 80's cheese, then rent this movie, you will have a great time.

Like a Baconator but with more cheese

[britneyfoxx · 1/10 · 21 June 2021]

This atrocity has a bad alien escape from jail and land on Earth so the "good" aliens send a long lost member of Motley Crue after it with laser guns but there's some meddling kids in a van who get in the way. At least PJ Soles looks hot in her church clothes.

Silly Terminator Clone

[Michael_Elliott · 18 December 2011]

Alienator (1990)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

With Fred Olen Ray directing and just looking at the title and what movie it's "copying" you should know what to expect. Kol (Ross Hagen) is about to be executed when he escapes his planet so the commander (Jan-Michael Vincent) sends a female alien to Earth to try and track him down. Kol ends up running into a sheriff and five drunks and soon they're caught up in this battle. There's no big secret that ALIENATOR is a pretty bad movie but I have to give credit to director Fred Olen Ray for at least knowing he's making a low-budget, bad movie. The reason I say that is that I often get the itch to watch a movie like this and more often than not you have a director thinking he's working with a $200-million dollar budget. The young director will try tricky shots, various plot twists and by the end of the movie you're asking yourself if the guy knew he was just making a piece of junk and you'll wonder why he thought he could do more with it. Mr. Ray doesn't go for that and instead it's clear that he knows what type of movie he's making and he just tries to make the best of it. This is certainly a bad film but at least there's some mild charm to be had. I thought there were a couple fairly funny moments but the highlight has to be the costume that our female killer wears. I'm not even going to attempt to try and explain it but once you see the thing you'll know what I mean. I also have to tip my hat to the outfit worn by P.J. Soles (HALLOWEEN, CARRIE) because it too is quite catchy and you can tell some imagination went into it. The special effects are obviously silly but it appears they're having a fun time with them. Yes, the performances are also bad but again credit has to go to Ray. Instead of trying to get the actors to do Shakespeare, he instead has some over-the-top moments that at least fits the performances. The violence/gore/nudity level is shockingly low, which is one negative thing as a bit more of any probably would have helped things. ALIENATOR is a bad film, yes, but when you compare it to other rips of THE TERMINATOR you'll see that it could have been much, much worse.

Not bad for a Fred Olen Ray movie

[Leofwine_draca · 5/10 · 8 November 2017]

ALIENATOR is an alien-in-the-woods B-movie from the infamous director Fred Olen Ray. I found it more enjoyable than expected; it's no classic, for sure, but some of the scenes look pretty nice and as a TERMINATOR clone this doesn't really outstay its welcome. The plot is about two aliens arriving on Earth, one an escapee, the other a vengeful assassin, as played by a female bodybuilder in a cool outfit. Most of the action is centred around a cabin where there are a few explosions and a handful of gruesome special effects, one of which is decent for the low budget. As with many Olen Ray films, there are roles for familiar old-time faces including Robert Quarry, Jan-Michael Vincent, Ross Hagen, Robert Clarke, PJ Soles, and John Phillip Law. Joseph Pilato, of DAY OF THE DEAD fame, has a small role too.

A bad movie, but it's impossible to hate

[adamscastlevania2 · 4/10 · 11 December 2014]

(36%) One of the kings of intensive B-movie production, Fred Olen Ray attempted to cash-in on both Alien and the Terminator in one single movie, and the end result is this this pretty bad, yet still perfectly watchable sci-fi action/horror. The opening prologue set on a space prison (and clearly filmed in a disused industrial unit on the outskirts of Hollywood) offers maybe the most fun part of the whole movie with the cheap sets and the ridiculous costumes, the female character with two big holes in her top is especially comedic; but then again I doubt is this was ever intended to be taken in the slightest bit seriously. The alienator herself is a daft looking cyborg that appears to be made up of bits and pieces raided from a prop department and then rather cack handedly put together in a few hours. Fans of low-rent 80's cheese should give this a go as it isn't overly dull, or that badly made that it becomes unenjoyable to watch, but everyone else should stick to the films this wants to imitate.

Low budget "B' movie" felt through out entire film

[garyhugoo · 2/10 · 10 September 2018]

If i didnt love watching Jan Michael Vincent ever since becoming an Airwolf fan, i would not have endured watching this terrible and very palpable low budget movie. Even the very brief shots (each only a few seconds long) of the spaceships look terrible and they were filmed a DECADE after the original star wars. 99% of the movie is filmed on present day earth so no special sets were needed...how convenient, right? Anyone else notice the possible goof during the scene where the white haired female hunter is sitting on the tree branch and removing the shrapnel from her foot. During this scene we can clearly see this alien wearing a cross necklace. Yes its not as bad as catching her wearing a Casio wristwatch but for an alien from another world, its sure strange to see her sporting an Earth based religious item.

Fred Olen Ray does sci-fi on the cheap

[udar55 · 5/10 · 24 April 2013]

Alien criminal Kol (Ross Hagen) escapes from an intergalactic prison and crash lands on Earth. The prison commander (Jan-Michael Vincent, clearly inebriated) sends the space hunter half cyborg Alienator (Teagan Clive) to terminate him. Kol ends up being hit by some kids in an RV and they take him to Ward Armstrong (John Phillip Law), the local game warden, and everyone soon finds themselves in a battle for their lives. This is another Fred Olen Ray cheapie that is an entertaining time passer if you are in the right mood. Teagan Clive, a female body builder, is certainly an odd choice for the hunter and her costume (including an awful fright wig) certainly does the character no favors. However, the film moves briskly and there is some intentionally funny dialog here and there. Best of all, Ray populates the supporting roles with some great old timers including Leo Gordon (as a war hungry Colonel who helps out), Robert Quarry (as a drunk doctor), and Hoke Howell (as a redneck brother alongside Fox Harris, who the picture is dedicated to). The space prison (actually a big factory) sequences also feature Jay Richardson, Joe Pilato, and P.J. Soles.

Here we go again! Another bimbo movie that shows all but nothing!

[emm · 2/10 · 28 November 1998]

Nothing can prepare you for another lousy bimbo outing! This time, it's being brought to you by the never-inevitable Fred Olen Ray! As far as exploitation movies go, this one doesn't click! As science fiction, it's plain unoriginal! All that we see is an an ugly feminine android wearing a bikini out to destroy the Earth, and showing off all that's nearly bare to resist! Give me a f---ing break!!! If this kind of entertainment is your thing, then why not dust off those old SI swimsuit mags from the attic for a change?! This would have been much better if it didn't set the sleaze factor on very high, but that still wouldn't make this one great. I'd like to point out another film called THE ASSAULT (1996) by Jim Wynorski, which resembles the identity of ALIENATOR. It illustrates why top-notch 1st-person "femme fatale" action movies don't translate well in America. Sorry, fellas!

Hammy cheese sci-fi

[JoeB131 · 2/10 · 7 August 2016]

This movie is awful.

So we have this alien society that is about to execute a rebel, even though they all speak colloquial American English, they can't understand humans when they land on Earth.

The scenes on the space station starring a drunken Jan Michael Vincent are actually pretty interesting, but the movie goes down hill when the alien escapee arrives on Earth, and is followed by a truly ridiculous looking female cyborg.

The acting and dialog are terrible, and we don't get any idea of whom we are supposed to be cheering for.

One of Fred Olen Ray's lesser films

[Woodyanders · 3/10 · 4 April 2013]

Evil prison inmate Kol (essayed with hammy brio by Ross Hagen) escapes to Earth after breaking out from a remote space station penitentiary. The warden (a seriously cranky Jan-Michael Vincent) sends an unstoppable assassin known as the Alienator (beefy butch bodybuilder Teagan) to take Kol down. Boy, does this cruddy low-budget sci-fi clunker fail to hit the mark: The ham-fisted (mis)direction by Fred Olen Ray, plodding pace, a shabby script by Paul Garson, lots of comically bad acting, ineptly staged action set pieces, tacky (far from) special effects, dopey humor, tin-eared dialogue ("Your lover boy is burnt toast by now"), mild gore, and a crippling lack of both tension and vitality ensure that this honey ain't ever going to be reappraised as some kind of unjustly maligned lost classic. Chuck Cirino's mechanically bouncy score doesn't help matters any. On the plus side, John Phillip Law tries hard as rugged game warden Ward Armstrong, P.J. Soles shows off some tasty cleavage, Hoke Howell and Fox Harris provide a few laughs as a pair of bumbling idiot poachers, and Leo Gordon chews up the scenery with lip-smacking glee as gung-ho two-fisted Vietnam veteran Colonel Coburn. A real schlockfest.

A fun cheesy movie

[lfdewolfe · 4/10 · 29 August 2020]

This movie is just too fun. That doesn't mean it's good, but it's still really entertaining. With bad acting, an over-the-top storyline, an alien that looks like the very definition of 80s (even though this was in the 90s), and two of the dopiest comic relief characters ever put to film what can go wrong? I don't even want to say any more, go check this out if you haven't, it's the very definition of "so bad it's good."

Some tacky charm here and there

[Wizard-8 · 21 December 2015]

I never imagined that this cheapie effort made by the legendary Fred Olen Ray (usually legendary for the wrong reasons) would ever get a DVD release, but it did indeed get one a couple of years ago. So I decided to give it another look. Actually "cheapie" is a kind adjective to give this movie. It looks like most of the VERY limited budget went to securing that legendary B movie cast for a few days of shooting. (Though as it turns out, the cast doesn't exactly give good performances.) With the limited amount of money left over, Ray ended up making a curious hybrid - a movie that feels both made in the 1950s and the 1980s. The plot is clearly inspired by the 1984 movie "The Terminator", though the production values are right out of a low budget Roger Corman movie from decades back. I admit that the tacky production values actually have a little charm, namely because Ray keeps the tone pretty serious and does not seem to find the low rent atmosphere one to be mocked. The photography and lighting are acceptable as well. And there's an interesting twist in the plot towards the end. But ultimately the movie doesn't work because not only is the plot pretty slow-moving for the most part, the action sequences are lacking passion and grit. If Ray had kept things swiftly moving and exciting with both plot and action, I think I could have overlooked all the cheapness and the other flaws in the movie and had some serious fun. But as it is, for the most part it's only worth a look if you have a perverse pleasure of seeing a legendary cast of actors clearly knowing their better days are behind them.

Almost The Worst..

[mike-2178 · 1/10 · 17 November 2009]

This is almost the worst film you will ever see! 2012 Doomsday currently pulls the rug from under this one, for me. The props are a perfect example of what Frank Zappa once referred to as 'cheepnis.' It looks as if the space scenes were made in a 1950s power station, just prior to demolition. The music really sucks. The acting is wooden and ham. The characters they portray are shallow and unconvincing. The plot is predictable. It is immediately and brazenly obvious when they copy techniques and ideas from other films. The quality of direction beggars belief.

But you have to see it, if only to experience what has to be one of the biggest wastes of a tiny budget ever. This is a priceless example of a stupid movie!

Could be the Worst

[bemyfriend-40184 · 2/10 · 3 April 2021]

I couldn't finish it. I couldn't think of a reason to. It was awful. It got worse. Like they were trying to make the worst movie ever made. If you can't be the best, I guess be the worst.