Press Gang (1989–1993)

Paul Reynolds: Colin Mathews

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Colin : Maybe I should just mention my extra-specially-close friends get a preferential loan rate *and* badges. I do have vacancies in my peer group...

• Colin : I'm not following this am I?

  Frazz : Of course you are, just a long long way behind.

• Julie : Don't take this wrong, but you behave like a real jerk.

  Colin : There's a right way to take that?

• Tiddler : How was Warner Edison?

  Colin : Dead.

  Kenny : What?

  Colin : He had a heart attack last Wednesday, two hours after he phoned me to come round. It was his funeral this afternoon, and they were having a sort of a gathering at his house. Do you know what I really wish?

  Tiddler : What?

  Colin : I wish that I hadn't pushed past the guy that opened the door, rushed into the house and shouted "Hi Warner, I'm a bunny-gram!". Do you have any idea what it's like to have every single rich and powerful person in town dressed in black and staring at you, while you're wearing a giant pink rabbit costume to a funeral? Excuse me, I'm just going into the toilet to whimper for a while.

• Colin : Can we talk Spike - man to man?

  Spike : [looks at Colin in disgust]  Man to what?

• Colin : Ruby Grogan, Spike. Just stay away from her.

  Spike : Don't tell me, you've fallen in love again, and you haven't gotten around to telling the lady yet. Ethel Stuttgart two right?

  Colin : I'm warning you Spike, just stay away from her.

  Spike : I'm trying to! And what are you going to do if I don't?

  Colin : Spike, I don't want to get violent.

  Spike : [pushes Colin]  Violent?

  Colin : Well, rude.

  Spike : [pushes Colin again]  Rude?

  Colin : Well a bit off hand certainly.

  [Spike grabs Colin by his shirt] 

  Colin : Well more kind of reserved, you know, distantly. A kind of polite.

  Spike : So if I don't stay away from Ruby, you're gonna get polite with me?

  Colin : Yeah!

  [Spike lets go] 

  Colin : And that's just for starters!

• Colin : ...and I mean that, Kenny. From-the-Heart City. Total Sincerityville. You're gonna be big. And I mean that. Right from the heart.

  [Pats his chest] 

  Kenny : The other side.

  Colin : What?

  Kenny : Your heart's on the other side.

  Colin : Oh right! That's what you get for practicing in the mirror.

• Colin Matthews : I love the dictionary, Kenny. It's the only book with the words in the right order.

• Tiddler : Colin, what does a rabbit mean to you?

  Colin Matthews : A four pack of lucky feet.

• Colin : Preservation of animals? You mean like in the freezer?