- Capt. Bonano: You know what you've done for me? The commissioner's on my ass. I get gas. Every day ends with a Tums festival! Right now, because of you I gotta go to the bathroom.
- Lt Maxwell: Captain, how bout that dinner?
- Capt. Bonano: Screw the dinner. You got any tums? I need some goddamn tums.
- Turkey: Hey guys, what's happenin'?
- Cop: Hey, Turk. Manager of the hotel called and said 3 men are holding a married couple in a room. Nearest we can figure it's a rape and robbery in progress.
- Turkey: So what the hell are you guys waiting for?
- Cop: Lt. Maxwell is coming.
- Turkey: With what, the fucking cavalry? By the time he gets here they'll have raped the guy too. Come on.
- Turkey: Look mister, I know this guy just fucked your wife, but he's our prisoner now. So how about backin' off, OK?
- Capt. Bonano: Three people are dead, one officer wounded, and McKay is still in the john puking his guts out. You're a fucking maniac, Turkey.
- Joe Fresno: I've come to take you home, Stevie.
- Stevie: No, I hate you! You left mom and me!
- Joe Fresno: I'll explain everything later. Right now let's just get out of here.
- Stevie: Not with you! I'd rather die right here than go with you.
- Joe Fresno: Son, I'm sick. I've been sick for quite some time. I have blood cancer. Sometimes it hurts very much. I'm in real pain, so I had to take drugs.
- Turkey: You're real good, Matt. You know, I can see you weren't born yesterday, cause no one could get that fuckin' stupid in 24 hours.
- Lt Maxwell: Come on, Turquoise. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad.
- Turkey: Shit. I feel like a man wh's just been shipwrecked on an island with his wife.
- Lt Maxwell: You don't have a wife.
- Turkey: Your wife then.
- Lt Maxwell: Oh.
- Rose: You're so full of shit your baby blues are turning brown.
- Turkey: OK. OK. So I can't go in, but I've gotta tell ya, if you had a sweater on I'd love to pull the wool over your eyes.
- Rose: How romantic