Karen M. Waldron: Bunny
Photos
Quotes
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Dr. Margo Hunt : Can I tell you a secret I've never told anyone before?
Bunny : Sure.
Dr. Margo Hunt : In a way, Jim is right; I am afraid of men. My relationships have been, well, I've had a lot of one-night stands. A little to drink, you know, give myself an excuse, then I subconsciously fall for jerks I know I'll never be emotionally involved with. It's all so empty, passionless, really. I guess deep down I'm afraid that there can never be any real respect or equality between the sexes, not really. I've avoided commitment because I'm afraid I'll be emotionally dominated by my lover or equally sad that I dominate him. I guess that seems kind of strange, huh?
Bunny : Can I tell you something too, Dr. Hunt, something I've never told anybody before?
Dr. Margo Hunt : Of course, Bunny, I'm glad we get to share this.
Bunny : Well, sometimes when I'm with a guy, I wish that he'd tie me up with red licorice ropes, and then spank me, and then he'd eat the ropes, and then he'd free me, and then we'd make love while the Philharmonic played "Bolero".
Dr. Margo Hunt : Thank you, Bunny, you've really put my thoughts in perspective.
Bunny : I feel better too.
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[At the end of a class about gender relations, Bunny rushes up to Dr. Hunt, who is erasing the blackboard]
Bunny : Dr. Hunt, I just love your class!
Margo Hunt : Well, thank you, Bunny. You can call me Margo.
Bunny : [in a rush of enthusiasm] I like it so much, I've been thinking about changing my major from Home Economics to Feminist Studies, but I wasn't sure if you had any feminist cooking classes.
Margo Hunt : I don't think we do, no. Interesting thought, though.
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[Dr. Hunt, Bunny and Jim are on a boat on the river into the Avocado Jungle]
Bunny : [frightened] What was that?
Margo Hunt : Something went under the boat - something big!
Jim : Ah, it's probably just a rock.
Margo Hunt : Hardly.
[There is a splashing sound]
Margo Hunt : A hippo, look!
Jim : [derisively] A hippo? In California?
Margo Hunt : The Palm Springs hippo. It's a lighter version than its African cousin because of the low-cholesterol diet. But it's just as deadly!
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Margo Hunt : They're an ancient commune of feminists, so radical, so militant, so left of center they... they eat their men.
Bunny : Oh, that. Well, if I like a guy, I usually start at...
Margo Hunt : They don't eat their men like that, Bunny.
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Margo Hunt : San Bernardino, a rough speck of civilization on the edge of the avocado belt. We'll head down to some local establishments and see if we can find a mercenary to guide us through the jungle.
Bunny : [scared] I've never been to San Bernardino before.
Margo Hunt : Don't worry, Bunny,
[extracts gun]
Margo Hunt : we'll be all right.
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[Dr. Hunt, Jim and Bunny are making their way through the jungle and finding knitted pot-holders and doilies hung upon the trees as they progress]
Margo Hunt : We want to be the first outsiders ever to make contact.
Jim : They're disgusting!
Bunny : Who?
Margo Hunt : They're not disgusting. You think that anyone who chooses to live their life differently than you is disgusting. Well, different life-styles have different traditions, Jim.
Jim : They're snivelling worms and I don't have the stomach to look at them.
Bunny : Who?
Margo Hunt : It's just a legend, really, that in the Avocado Jungle, there's a tribe of men who live apart from the Piranha Women.
Jim : And cower in fear of them.
Margo Hunt : They have different cultures, Jim! They're really very caring and nurturing.
Jim : They're a bunch of wienies!
Bunny : They make pot-holders?
Margo Hunt : Well, they make baked goods, sew their own clothes, and they leave out handicrafts for the Piranha Women. And, in return, they don't eat them! Kind of a symbiotic relationship.
Jim : Kind of an idiotic relationship is more like it!
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[the trio comes upon the tents of the men who live in symbiosis with the Piranha Women]
Bunny : What are they called?
Margo Hunt : The Donahues.
[to the frightened men in their tents]
Margo Hunt : Come on out! Don't be afraid!
Bunny : We won't eat you! We promise. Don't be afraid.
Margo Hunt : I'm an ethnographer!
[the men come out of their tents, crawling on all fours]
Jim : [disgusted] God, what wimps!
Margo Hunt : It's a different culture, Jim!
Bunny : [clutching her hands beneath her chin] I think they're sweet.
[the men offer pieces of fabric]
Margo Hunt : Oh, thank you! It's beautiful.
[the crawling men start to chant: "Donahue! Alan Alda! Mark Harman! Walter Mondale!"]
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Bunny : I have a lot of fantasies about being tied up and spanked. I suppose it isn't very liberated, is it? What kind of fantasies do feminists have?
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Margo Hunt : San Bernardino, a rough speck of civilization on the edge of the Avocado belt.
Bunny : I've never been to San Bernardino before.
Margo Hunt : drawing her .44 magnum: Don't worry, Bunny. We'll be alright.
