Lloyd Gordon: Sam
Quotes
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[first lines]
[Fred and Sam are hacking their way through the Avocado Jungle with machetes, then pause to take stock of their situation]
Fred : We're lost.
Sam : No, we're not - look! Over there!
[the camera zooms in on an avocado hanging from a twig. The two guys approach it, and Sam pulls the avocado into his hand. Fred takes it and stashes away]
Fred : Sam.
Sam : Yeah?
Fred : I think we should head back. We're getting in too deep.
Sam : Oh, don't - Wait a second. What's that I hear? It sounds like... women! Laughing!
Fred : Let's get outta here.
Sam : No, no, come on, man, don't be such a coward. Let's check this out!
[He gleefully pushes the foliage aside and strides forward; Fred follows. A small waterfall roars down into an idyllic scene: a pond filled with gorgeous women who have bare breasts and perfect tans. They are giggling, diving, and splashing around]
Sam : Look at them! They're beautiful! Aren't they the most lovely, sensuous, inviting women you've ever seen?
Fred : Let's get outta here.
Sam : What are you, nuts? Look at them!
Fred : They're dangerous!
Sam : They don't look dangerous.
[a brunette tosses a ball to a blonde. It's all very innocent-seeming]
Sam : They look... lonely.
[Fred looks at him incredulously]
Fred : [whispering] We have to get out of here.
Sam : Yeah? Well, I'm gonna go introduce myself. Yoohoo! Ladies! Ladies!
[a moment later, the Amazons are armed with bows and arrows. Sam falls dead with an astonished look on his face. Fred turns to run, and in a parody of all the clichés, trips and falls - as the Amazons pursue him]
