Bill Maher: Jim
Photos
Quotes
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Jim : Oh my God, you're marinating me!
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[Dr. Hunt, Bunny and Jim are on a boat on the river into the Avocado Jungle]
Bunny : [frightened] What was that?
Margo Hunt : Something went under the boat - something big!
Jim : Ah, it's probably just a rock.
Margo Hunt : Hardly.
[There is a splashing sound]
Margo Hunt : A hippo, look!
Jim : [derisively] A hippo? In California?
Margo Hunt : The Palm Springs hippo. It's a lighter version than its African cousin because of the low-cholesterol diet. But it's just as deadly!
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Jim : Do you know what jungle herb cures the poisonous bite of the river snake? Do you know where the only land route is around the white waters of death? Do you know the way through the secret maze caves that lie underneath Hangman's Cliff? Huh, do you?
Margo Hunt : Well, no, I don't. Do you?
Jim : Well, no, but I have this paperback.
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Jim : Gee, you guys are pretty big, for wimps. Of course, the joke's on you when those broads come back and start picking out ingredients for chicken McMacho.
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Jim : All you women have ever done is, what? Some French chick invented kryptonite, or something.
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[Dr. Hunt, Jim and Bunny are making their way through the jungle and finding knitted pot-holders and doilies hung upon the trees as they progress]
Margo Hunt : We want to be the first outsiders ever to make contact.
Jim : They're disgusting!
Bunny : Who?
Margo Hunt : They're not disgusting. You think that anyone who chooses to live their life differently than you is disgusting. Well, different life-styles have different traditions, Jim.
Jim : They're snivelling worms and I don't have the stomach to look at them.
Bunny : Who?
Margo Hunt : It's just a legend, really, that in the Avocado Jungle, there's a tribe of men who live apart from the Piranha Women.
Jim : And cower in fear of them.
Margo Hunt : They have different cultures, Jim! They're really very caring and nurturing.
Jim : They're a bunch of wienies!
Bunny : They make pot-holders?
Margo Hunt : Well, they make baked goods, sew their own clothes, and they leave out handicrafts for the Piranha Women. And, in return, they don't eat them! Kind of a symbiotic relationship.
Jim : Kind of an idiotic relationship is more like it!
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[the trio comes upon the tents of the men who live in symbiosis with the Piranha Women]
Bunny : What are they called?
Margo Hunt : The Donahues.
[to the frightened men in their tents]
Margo Hunt : Come on out! Don't be afraid!
Bunny : We won't eat you! We promise. Don't be afraid.
Margo Hunt : I'm an ethnographer!
[the men come out of their tents, crawling on all fours]
Jim : [disgusted] God, what wimps!
Margo Hunt : It's a different culture, Jim!
Bunny : [clutching her hands beneath her chin] I think they're sweet.
[the men offer pieces of fabric]
Margo Hunt : Oh, thank you! It's beautiful.
[the crawling men start to chant: "Donahue! Alan Alda! Mark Harman! Walter Mondale!"]
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Jim : I'd rather have you kill me than make me a gelding.
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Jim : Bunny, don't worry! You'll save me!
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Dr. Margo Hunt : The secret temple of the Piranha women. Their architecture is surprisingly advanced.
Jim : It looks like a big lego to me.
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Margo Hunt : It was a one-night stand. I was half-drunk and left right after we had sex. We didn't say eight words to each other, and all yours were composed of one syllable.
Jim : Hah! Just like you to count the words, Dr. Hunt.
