Biloxi Blues (1988)

Christopher Walken: Sgt. Toomey

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sergeant Toomey : Tell me, Jerome, if a piss drunk sergeant has a loaded .45 pointed at the head of a piece of dung that the piss drunk sergeant hates and despises, how would you describe the situation?

  Eugene Morris Jerome : Delicate. Extremely delicate.

  Sergeant Toomey : Right. I'll be honest with you, Jerome. It was my intention of getting Epstein in here, and putting this pistol to his ear, and blowing a tunnel through his head. But you'll do just as well.

  Eugene Morris Jerome : I'm sorry to hear that.

  Sergeant Toomey : There's something about you New York boys that riles my ass. You don't appreciate the Army, do you?

  Eugene Morris Jerome : There are some things I like.

  Sergeant Toomey : Such as?

  Eugene Morris Jerome : Mail. I like getting my mail.

  Sergeant Toomey : You shittin' me, Jerome?

  Eugene Morris Jerome : A piece of dung would never shit a piss drunk sergeant with a loaded .45.

• Sergeant Toomey : You would need three promotions to get to be an asshole.

• Toomey : Epstein, Arnold B.

  Arnold Epstein : Ho, ho!

  Toomey : Are there two Arnold Epsteins in this company?

  Arnold Epstein : No, sergeant.

  Toomey : But I heard more than one Ho.

  Arnold Epstein : Yes, sergeant.

  Toomey : Epstein, Arnold B.

  Arnold Epstein : Ho!

  Toomey : One more time.

  Arnold Epstein : Ho!

  Toomey : Do I make myself clear, Epstein?

  Arnold Epstein : Ho!

  Toomey : Do I make myself clear, Jerome?

  Jerome : Ho, yes!

  Toomey : Ho what?

  Jerome : Ho nothing!

  Toomey : Are you having trouble understanding me, Jerome?

  Jerome : Ho no. I mean, no ho, sergent. Just plain ho.

• Sergeant Toomey : Hey, Fred Astaire, you tryin' to tell me something?

  Arnold Epstein : I have to go to the bathroom, sergeant.

  Sergeant Toomey : You can't do that. We don't have "bathrooms" in the Army.

  Arnold Epstein : They had them at Fort Dix.

  Sergeant Toomey : Not bathrooms, they didn't

  Arnold Epstein : Yes, they did. I went in them a lot.

  Sergeant Toomey : I'm tellin' you, we don't have any "bathrooms" on this base. Do you doubt my veracity?

  Arnold Epstein : No, sergeant.

  Sergeant Toomey : Then you've got a problem, don't you Epstein?

  Arnold Epstein : Ho ho.

  Sergeant Toomey : You bet your ass ho ho. You know why you've got a problem?

  Arnold Epstein : Because I've got to go real bad.

  Sergeant Toomey : No, son. You've got a problem because you don't know Army terminology. The place where a U.S. soldier goes to defecate, relieve himself, open his bowel, shit, fart, dump, crap, and unload, is called the latrine. The la-trine, from the French.

• Sergeant Toomey : What would you do if the entire Japanese Army were behind you?

  Eugene Morris Jerome : Surrender and get some sleep.

• Toomey : Something wrong with your food, Carney?

  Carney : Yes Sergeant! It's the first food I was ever afraid of!

  Toomey : Well, you're gonna enjoy it about a month from now because that's how long it will take. Back to your seat.

  [sees Jerome's tray] 

  Toomey : Don't approve of our cuisine, Jerome?

  Eugene Morris Jerome : It's not that. It's a religious observation. This is the day my people fast.

  Toomey : Jerome, this is July. Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are in September. I have an all religion calendar in my barracks. Don't you try that shit again with me, boy.

  Eugene Morris Jerome : It's a different holiday. It's called El Malaguena.

  Toomey : El Malaguena?

  Eugene Morris Jerome : It's for Spanish Jews.

  Toomey : Carney! Come here!

  [Carney arrives with his tray] 

  Toomey : . Carney, put half of your food onto Jerome's tray!

  Carney : [smiling]  Yes, Sergeant!

  Toomey : Eat in good health and Happy El Malaguena to you! Back to your seat.

  [sees Epstein's tray] 

  Toomey : What's your excuse, Epstein? Don't tell me. Today is La Cucaracha!

• Sergeant Toomey : In the past twenty-one days, you boys have made some fine progress. You're not fighting soldiers yet, but I'd match you up against some Nazi cocktail waitress anytime.

• Sergeant Toomey : [to Epstein]  I'm out there trying to save those boys' lives, you crawling bookworm. Stand in my way - and I'll PULVERIZE YA! Into chicken droppings!

• Toomey : [Wykowski and Epstein have a near-altercation after lights out. Toomey confronts them]  What the hell is going on here?

  James J. Hennesey : Nothing Sarge.

  Toomey : What do you mean "nothing" Hennesey? I heard threats. Challenges. Invitations to bust the noses of minority races. You're still going to tell me that nothing is going on?

  James J. Hennesey : Yes, sir.

  Toomey : I see.

  [Hands out punishment in the form of push-ups to randomly selected recruits] 

• Sergeant Toomey : [puts his finger in Carney's food]  Enjoy your meal now, you hear?

  [walks away] 

  Sergeant Toomey : .

  Eugene Morris Jerome : [mocking Sgt. Toomey]  Enjoy your meal now, you hear? That's good! How many pigs and black-pea eyeballs? I've got to make you men strong. Because tonight, we're gonna march the entire platoon off a 3,000-foot cliff. Dying makes a man out of you. I died in the war. They had me cremated. And they buried my ashes right here in my skull.

  Joseph Wykowski : [annoyed]  You think that's funny, Jerome?

  Eugene Morris Jerome : No, I think you're funny Wykowski. You forgot to eat your aluminum tray!

  [Wykowski attempts to attack Jerome but is stopped by Selridge] 

  Eugene Morris Jerome : .

  Joseph Wykowski : Get off! I got three enemies now, Jerome! The Japs, the Germans, and you!

  Eugene Morris Jerome : I wasn't in on that Pearl Harbor thing!

• Toomey : [to Arnold B. Epstein]  I have a nutcracker that crunches the testicles of men that take me on.

• Toomey : [to Arnold B. Epstein]  Men do not face enemy machine guns because they've been treated with kindness. I don't want them human. I want them obedient. I'm tryin' to save those boys lives, you crawlin' bookworm. You stand in my way, I'll pulverize you into chicken droppings.

• Sergeant Toomey : I never had men do push ups in bed before but I could start tonight.

• Sergeant Toomey : Epstein, Arnold B.

  Arnold Epstein : Ho, ho!

  Sergeant Toomey : Are there two Arnold Epsteins in this company?

  Arnold Epstein : No, Sergeant.

  Sergeant Toomey : Then just give me one Goddamn ho!

  Arnold Epstein : Yes, Sergeant.

  Sergeant Toomey : Epstein, Arnold B.

  Arnold Epstein : Ho!