Horror spoofs either work or they don't - this one sadly doesn't. Within the first 5 minutes I knew that this was going to be a long hour & a half. It's a film within a film, an opportunity missed as this is something of a confusing mess. It's not that funny either. There's some reasonable gore - the lecherous teacher getting dissected is the standout scene - plus some gratuitous nudity thrown in. The killer wears a cool mask but is let down by wearing yellow rubber gloves, the type you wash up with! The DVD case gave George Clooney star billing but that's a con, he's only a very minor character in the first 10 minutes.
84 Reviews
Campy, Uninteresting Horror.
drownsoda9014 July 2006
"Return To Horror High" is one corny '80s horror flick. The movie is about a film company, Cosmic Pictures, who decides to shoot a movie at an abandoned high school, Crippen High School. Years ago, there was a brutal massacre that took place in the school, and now the movie being filmed is based on the events that took place. Then, one by one, cast and crew members and others involved in the film begin disappearing and being murdered. It seems as if the events that took place years before are repeating itself.
This movie is an ultimate cheese-fest, plain and simple. The majority of the movie is just a compilation of badly-edited scenes with lots of fake blood, campy murder sequences, and mediocre acting. The whole idea and basis of the movie is rather ridiculous, and I'll say the performances weren't quite convincing either. On a high note, the movie does feature a younger George Clooney who plays a cast member in the film, which was interesting to see. And Maureen McCormick (who played the infamous Marcia Brady on "The Brady Bunch") also appears as a female cop. But they don't really do anything to save this movie anyway. It's been a few years since I watched this movie, so the details are pretty vague to me, but overall this movie wasn't anything too great.
Bottom line is, if you like really corny horror movies, then you might enjoy this obscure little '80s horror picture. But for the majority of people, this movie wouldn't offer anything that is remotely interesting or that we haven't seen before. You'll probably want to pass on it. 3/10.
This movie is an ultimate cheese-fest, plain and simple. The majority of the movie is just a compilation of badly-edited scenes with lots of fake blood, campy murder sequences, and mediocre acting. The whole idea and basis of the movie is rather ridiculous, and I'll say the performances weren't quite convincing either. On a high note, the movie does feature a younger George Clooney who plays a cast member in the film, which was interesting to see. And Maureen McCormick (who played the infamous Marcia Brady on "The Brady Bunch") also appears as a female cop. But they don't really do anything to save this movie anyway. It's been a few years since I watched this movie, so the details are pretty vague to me, but overall this movie wasn't anything too great.
Bottom line is, if you like really corny horror movies, then you might enjoy this obscure little '80s horror picture. But for the majority of people, this movie wouldn't offer anything that is remotely interesting or that we haven't seen before. You'll probably want to pass on it. 3/10.
Funny, but ends up making no sense whatsoever
tim_sparks3 January 2005
Okay, this had the makings of a funny horror spoof and I was with it right up until the ending.
Can anyone explain, in the reality of the movie..what happened? Does anyone know? It simply makes no sense at all.
I'll up my rating if someone can make the movie make sense. To me, the ending was "oh crap, we don't know how to end this..and its 3:00am and we're drunk. lets get some props and just crap out something and we can all go home" I mean seriously. Can *ANYONE* explain the ending to me? I doubt even the director has a friggin clue.
BAD BAD film-making..to totally tank the entire project by messing up the ending so badly.
Can anyone explain, in the reality of the movie..what happened? Does anyone know? It simply makes no sense at all.
I'll up my rating if someone can make the movie make sense. To me, the ending was "oh crap, we don't know how to end this..and its 3:00am and we're drunk. lets get some props and just crap out something and we can all go home" I mean seriously. Can *ANYONE* explain the ending to me? I doubt even the director has a friggin clue.
BAD BAD film-making..to totally tank the entire project by messing up the ending so badly.
Provides some fun, but really isn't as good as it could have been ** out of 5
pumpkinhead_lance26 June 2005
It's a shame because this film had a lot of potential. There were really lively moments like the man getting chopped by a huge fan, but then it goes into oblivion and confusion.
Basically, what I mean is that the film itself is constructed in a way that really confuses the viewer. This isn't David Lynch we're talking here, this is supposed to be a horror comedy but some of the jokes just don't work because we're too busy trying to figure out why these random scenes come out of nowhere and whether or not we're watching the movie or the movie within the movie.
Now that may sound like a fun element to the film and indeed, if constructed the right way, it probably would have been. But alas, it pretty much... well... in all honesty... fails.
But this is definitely one of those you'll at least wanna say you saw if you're into 80's schlock.
Love the poster art though.
Basically, what I mean is that the film itself is constructed in a way that really confuses the viewer. This isn't David Lynch we're talking here, this is supposed to be a horror comedy but some of the jokes just don't work because we're too busy trying to figure out why these random scenes come out of nowhere and whether or not we're watching the movie or the movie within the movie.
Now that may sound like a fun element to the film and indeed, if constructed the right way, it probably would have been. But alas, it pretty much... well... in all honesty... fails.
But this is definitely one of those you'll at least wanna say you saw if you're into 80's schlock.
Love the poster art though.
Never heard of this. After seeing it I know why!
preppy-319 April 2005
In 1982 there was a series of brutal murders in a high school. The school was closed down and the murderer was never found. In 1987 a film crew decides to make a movie on the murders and shot it in the abandoned school. And then the murders begin again...
A horror comedy done terribly wrong. There are some good things about this--the performances by Alex Rocco (going WAY over the top), Brendan Hughes (as the baby-faced hero) and Lori Lethin (as the final girl) are very good and there are a few funny moments. But that's it. The horror isn't even remotely scary with some of the worst special effects I've ever seen in a horror film. The script meanders all over the place and the film within a film "surprises" got tedious real quick. Also the final search and showdown with the killer goes on for 30 MINUTES!!! Then there's multiple twists and turns at the end...but it's too little too late. Basically I was bored and the lousy murders were really insulting. Also there's a truly dreadful performance by Richard Brestoff (it's so bad it's almost embarrassing to watch) and Maureen McCormick and Vince Edwards walk through their roles.
A lot of people find this so bad that it's good--but I was too bored to enjoy it. Also there's a young, handsome George Clooney in this--but he disappears within the first 15 minutes.
A rightfully forgotten horror film. I give it a 1.
A horror comedy done terribly wrong. There are some good things about this--the performances by Alex Rocco (going WAY over the top), Brendan Hughes (as the baby-faced hero) and Lori Lethin (as the final girl) are very good and there are a few funny moments. But that's it. The horror isn't even remotely scary with some of the worst special effects I've ever seen in a horror film. The script meanders all over the place and the film within a film "surprises" got tedious real quick. Also the final search and showdown with the killer goes on for 30 MINUTES!!! Then there's multiple twists and turns at the end...but it's too little too late. Basically I was bored and the lousy murders were really insulting. Also there's a truly dreadful performance by Richard Brestoff (it's so bad it's almost embarrassing to watch) and Maureen McCormick and Vince Edwards walk through their roles.
A lot of people find this so bad that it's good--but I was too bored to enjoy it. Also there's a young, handsome George Clooney in this--but he disappears within the first 15 minutes.
A rightfully forgotten horror film. I give it a 1.
Is there a rating lower than 1?
happyendingrocks12 August 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Undoubtedly, any serious fan of campy 80's splatter has sifted through an excessive assortment of bottom of the barrel dreck looking for forgotten masterpieces. I've seen at least a few hundred from the era myself, but try as I might, I can't think of one less enjoyable than this wretched and useless pile of offal.
It's to be expected that, since this is an awful movie about a film crew making an awful movie, coherence could potentially be an issue. But Return To Horror High doesn't even seem interested in making sense, and the way the film jumps around from the aftermath of the murders to the the time-line of the killings to scenes from the movie-within-the-movie, at times it seems like the film-makers (who made this film, not the film-makers we see making the film in this film) are almost daring you to keep up with what's going on. One sequence even shifts into a dream in which one of the actresses (in this film AND the film inside the film) imagines her demise during a take. Yes, friends, this is a scene in a film that turns out to be dream about a scene in a film within a film. Obviously, linear plot structure isn't on the menu here. Granted, this isn't necessarily a requirement for an enjoyable B horror flick (or an enjoyable B horror flick within a B horror flick, for that matter... okay, I'll stop now), but if the only reason this film exists is to present a series of creative deaths, it would definitely help matters if we could make sense of who's getting killed and why.
It's clear that there is a big emphasis on comedy here, but with only a couple of chuckle-worthy lines and exactly ONE humorous sight gag, Return To Horror High is the rare film that fails miserably at both genres it tackles. It's probably good that the film doesn't take itself too seriously, but since a lot of the gore is played for unattained yuks, the frequent murders lose any semblance of impact and ultimately become as annoying as the rest of the scenes in this train-wreck.
Though he's billed first on the DVD cover and second in the IMDb listing, young George Clooney only appears in the film for roughly five minutes. In fact, his character in the movie walks off the set during filming because he's offered a better role elsewhere, and one gets the sense that this is exactly what happened to cause Clooney's abbreviated presence, since he doesn't even turn up during the finale, when every other victim slain along the way makes a re-appearance. At least those who are tuning in merely to catch a comical glimpse of pre-fame Clooney get off pretty easy, since they can turn this miserable waste of time off 10 minutes in and save themselves the agony of enduring the 80 additional minutes that follow.
Another noteworthy bit of casting is the presence of Maureen "Marsha Brady" McCormick, who has a lot less to be embarrassed about than the rest of the cast. McCormick actually drums up a few funny scenes, and she is by far the best thing in the film. I realize that's tantamount to being the best quadriplegic swimmer of all time, but work with me here... I'm trying to find at least one nice thing to say about this movie.
Of course, in a film this convoluted, it isn't too surprising that there's a twist ending within the twist ending, the second part of which is about as wholly ridiculous and insulting to the audience as any ending I can think of in cinematic history. The film-makers even have the gall to set things up for a sequel (Return To Return To Horror High?), but we can breathe a collective sigh of relief that no one was clamoring for a franchise, thus we were spared the indignity of having to sit through a second installment.
I love bad movies, but this one is simply unbearable. I already sat through it, but I implore anyone who reads this to avoid making the dreadful mistake I did (even worse, I BOUGHT this damn thing!). Anchor Bay is usually a reliable source for forgotten classics, but wasting the time and effort required to give this film a digital remaster is a rare misstep in the company's stellar track record.
This is as bad as they come. Please let any lingering curiosity you have about this film end with this review.
It's to be expected that, since this is an awful movie about a film crew making an awful movie, coherence could potentially be an issue. But Return To Horror High doesn't even seem interested in making sense, and the way the film jumps around from the aftermath of the murders to the the time-line of the killings to scenes from the movie-within-the-movie, at times it seems like the film-makers (who made this film, not the film-makers we see making the film in this film) are almost daring you to keep up with what's going on. One sequence even shifts into a dream in which one of the actresses (in this film AND the film inside the film) imagines her demise during a take. Yes, friends, this is a scene in a film that turns out to be dream about a scene in a film within a film. Obviously, linear plot structure isn't on the menu here. Granted, this isn't necessarily a requirement for an enjoyable B horror flick (or an enjoyable B horror flick within a B horror flick, for that matter... okay, I'll stop now), but if the only reason this film exists is to present a series of creative deaths, it would definitely help matters if we could make sense of who's getting killed and why.
It's clear that there is a big emphasis on comedy here, but with only a couple of chuckle-worthy lines and exactly ONE humorous sight gag, Return To Horror High is the rare film that fails miserably at both genres it tackles. It's probably good that the film doesn't take itself too seriously, but since a lot of the gore is played for unattained yuks, the frequent murders lose any semblance of impact and ultimately become as annoying as the rest of the scenes in this train-wreck.
Though he's billed first on the DVD cover and second in the IMDb listing, young George Clooney only appears in the film for roughly five minutes. In fact, his character in the movie walks off the set during filming because he's offered a better role elsewhere, and one gets the sense that this is exactly what happened to cause Clooney's abbreviated presence, since he doesn't even turn up during the finale, when every other victim slain along the way makes a re-appearance. At least those who are tuning in merely to catch a comical glimpse of pre-fame Clooney get off pretty easy, since they can turn this miserable waste of time off 10 minutes in and save themselves the agony of enduring the 80 additional minutes that follow.
Another noteworthy bit of casting is the presence of Maureen "Marsha Brady" McCormick, who has a lot less to be embarrassed about than the rest of the cast. McCormick actually drums up a few funny scenes, and she is by far the best thing in the film. I realize that's tantamount to being the best quadriplegic swimmer of all time, but work with me here... I'm trying to find at least one nice thing to say about this movie.
Of course, in a film this convoluted, it isn't too surprising that there's a twist ending within the twist ending, the second part of which is about as wholly ridiculous and insulting to the audience as any ending I can think of in cinematic history. The film-makers even have the gall to set things up for a sequel (Return To Return To Horror High?), but we can breathe a collective sigh of relief that no one was clamoring for a franchise, thus we were spared the indignity of having to sit through a second installment.
I love bad movies, but this one is simply unbearable. I already sat through it, but I implore anyone who reads this to avoid making the dreadful mistake I did (even worse, I BOUGHT this damn thing!). Anchor Bay is usually a reliable source for forgotten classics, but wasting the time and effort required to give this film a digital remaster is a rare misstep in the company's stellar track record.
This is as bad as they come. Please let any lingering curiosity you have about this film end with this review.
Where do I begin? It was bad beyond words.
vertigo_143 April 2004
I can't believe people actually recommend watching this ridiculous "horror" movie. Now granted, I should allow for some discretion given the movie's budget, but for crying out loud, there's not one thing I could find that I liked about this movie. And I supsect a lot of careers began and ended with this movie (uh...except for Alex Rocco...and George Clooney's "career" didn't even begin at this point).
This is a movie in a movie in a movie. Think that's confusing to imagine? Just wait till you watch this movie. Some filmmakers are trying to create a horror movie based on a few slayings at a high school. They're filming in the same high school, stalked by the same killer no less. Now, while the body count is building up, you have two stories going on. The first is the keystone cop types investigating a murder while the movie (and murdering) is going on. Then, you have one of the cast members and technical supervisors trying to figure out who the killer is. There's a lot of little "fooled you" moments, but after a while, it begins to get pretty agravating when you come to ask whether or not a killer exists at all, and whether the killer is even human (and consequently, invincible...which then makes you wonder what's the point).
This "horror" movie was so stupid, it doesn't even deserve a PG rating. The special effects are simply laughable...people have made better student films in their own garages. In one scene, Maureen McCormick, who plays one of the investigating cops, picks up an arm that is an obvious piece of foam. When she shows it to her supervisor, he jumps back in horror, and she follows suit. I kept waiting for the part where she says "gotcha" and tells him she picked it up from the prop department (remember, they're filming the movie at the school). I was ready to turn off the whole thing when it came to the Scooby Doo ending. And I can't even begin to figure out what the point was of the finale "fakeout" involving the film crew.
And there's even an 80s romance sequence (with an awful 80s song), creating a scene that doesn't even seem in line with the rest of the mood of the movie. The whole movie was a mess of a bad story, poor effects, bad acting (especially from the science teacher). And it wasn't even bad enough to be funny. It was just simply bad.
This is a movie in a movie in a movie. Think that's confusing to imagine? Just wait till you watch this movie. Some filmmakers are trying to create a horror movie based on a few slayings at a high school. They're filming in the same high school, stalked by the same killer no less. Now, while the body count is building up, you have two stories going on. The first is the keystone cop types investigating a murder while the movie (and murdering) is going on. Then, you have one of the cast members and technical supervisors trying to figure out who the killer is. There's a lot of little "fooled you" moments, but after a while, it begins to get pretty agravating when you come to ask whether or not a killer exists at all, and whether the killer is even human (and consequently, invincible...which then makes you wonder what's the point).
This "horror" movie was so stupid, it doesn't even deserve a PG rating. The special effects are simply laughable...people have made better student films in their own garages. In one scene, Maureen McCormick, who plays one of the investigating cops, picks up an arm that is an obvious piece of foam. When she shows it to her supervisor, he jumps back in horror, and she follows suit. I kept waiting for the part where she says "gotcha" and tells him she picked it up from the prop department (remember, they're filming the movie at the school). I was ready to turn off the whole thing when it came to the Scooby Doo ending. And I can't even begin to figure out what the point was of the finale "fakeout" involving the film crew.
And there's even an 80s romance sequence (with an awful 80s song), creating a scene that doesn't even seem in line with the rest of the mood of the movie. The whole movie was a mess of a bad story, poor effects, bad acting (especially from the science teacher). And it wasn't even bad enough to be funny. It was just simply bad.
A Horror Low
zmaturin27 October 2001
Warning: Spoilers
Looking for a wholly unsatisfying movie that tries to be funny and scary and fails at both? With an over-elaborate plot, a confusing ending, and lots of terrible eighties music? With a trailer that rips off the trailer for "Susperia"? With George Clooney getting gutted like a fish? If you said "Yes", then this is the movie for you- and you should be committed.
The film jumps awkwardly back and forth in time to tell the tale of a low-budget film being shot at a high school where a series of unsolved murders went on. We don't see much of the murders, but there's lots of unfunny comedy bits featuring Maureen McCormick, the immensely unappealing Alex Rocco, an exploding falsie, and a filthy janitor ("I'm gonna be in those pussy films!" he says). About an hour into the movie there are some surprising shocks and plot twists which really helped the movie- and then they are revealed to be part of a dream and the movie resumes it's strict policy of not having interesting things happen.
Watch for a scene where part of the set breaks and the lead actress stifles a laugh.
The film jumps awkwardly back and forth in time to tell the tale of a low-budget film being shot at a high school where a series of unsolved murders went on. We don't see much of the murders, but there's lots of unfunny comedy bits featuring Maureen McCormick, the immensely unappealing Alex Rocco, an exploding falsie, and a filthy janitor ("I'm gonna be in those pussy films!" he says). About an hour into the movie there are some surprising shocks and plot twists which really helped the movie- and then they are revealed to be part of a dream and the movie resumes it's strict policy of not having interesting things happen.
Watch for a scene where part of the set breaks and the lead actress stifles a laugh.
Why bother?
Coventry9 September 2004
If you want to see how George Clooney (with a very flamboyant haircut) gets hacked up in one of his first film roles ever, this is your change
Other than this, there isn't anything worth mentioning about this production. 'Return to Horror High' is a horror-comedy, and these types of film are never funny, nor scary. You could have some sympathy for the fact the makers were actually trying to spoof the overload of 80's teen slashers, but it never gets any better than lame attempts to make you laugh. The plot involves a film crew shooting a horror film in the same high school were a series of murders took place five years earlier. Actors and members of the crew start to disappear again shortly after. Did the original killer return? Are we dealing with a copycat-killer?? Does anyone care? No?
didn't think so.
before there was Scream,before there was Scary Movie,
disdressed1221 March 2011
there was this little gem.it's a horror spoof,and it worked for me.i found it amusing.there were some great one liners in the film.Scream owes a fair debt to this movie,as does the Scary Movie franchise.you may not laugh yourself into a stupor,but you'll probably chuckle a lot.i'm actually very surprised at the low rating(3.8)this movie has on this site.i would rate it much higher.people complain about the bad acting,but i think that was intentional.for me,i had a good time watching it and wood watch it again.incidentally,it's not a sequel to the 1974 movie Horror High.in fact it has nothing to do with that movie at all.for me,Return to Horror High is a 6/10
Yawn and Snor
drossiusa200228 June 2003
This movie had no plot. There was no character development. It was a waste of time to watch this movie and trying to decipher what the writer was trying to do, scare us or bore us? Also the acting was horrible. It was like we were watching the dress rehersal throughout the entire movie.
A Clever Horror Comedy
Rubbed Raw5 April 2001
Most people who have reviewed this movie here don't seem to realize that it was intended to funny - it is a spoof of low budget horror films, and the making of them. It very cleverly plays with several levels of reality: the police investigating the massacre, the film crew shooting the movie and experiencing a 'real life' horror, and the scenes from the movie they are making (which are kind of like flashbacks to the original massacre). If people have trouble following this movie (which I didn't) perhaps it is because they are used to simplistic stories which do not demand anything from the viewer. Writer/critic L.A. Morse (in his book Video Trash and Treasures) says it is "...easily the best satire thus far of a genre sorely in need of an injection of wit, humour and fun". I agree with him.
A pleasant surprise.
gridoon28 April 2003
This movie could serve as a wake-up call to all those who thought "Scream" was oh-so-stunningly-original. Witty lines like "Why does everyone always want to go to a dark basement without even a flashlight?", commenting on the oldest horror cliches, pop up here ten whole years before they became "fashionable". The film does have a very complex structure and adds one bizarre twist after another in the last 30 minutes, and ends up not making a whole lot of sense; in that respect, it reminded me of the funny 1976 whodunit-spoof "Murder By Death". And just like in that film, you'll be better off ignoring the plot and concentrating on the individual moments and scenes. There are some engaging performances (particularly by Lori Lethin and Alex Rocco as the producer - "write them a hopeful, life-affirming scene where they talk about love and children, and make sure it's set in the showers, so they can be naked!"), and in general the film offers much more creativity than you'd normally expect to find in this genre. (**1/2)
the film completly stinks!!!!!!
ieatcoalchamber31 December 1999
Underrated Horror Film
AlbertV7920 May 2003
If everyone thought "Scream 3" had an interesting plot - a movie set falling prey to the killer resembling the Ghost Face Killer, then why don't you try this interesting horror flick of the 80's. As an avid fan of cult films, that is exactly what this film is. Early appearances by George Clooney and later appearances by "Dr. Ben Casey" Vince Edwards, "Marcia Brady" Maureen McCormick, "Mo Green" himself, Alex Rocco, and that kid from "Alice", Philip McKeon, all star in this film about a killer who returns to the high school where he killed years ago to terrorize a movie crew. The finale is a hell of a surprise.
The Worst Movie I Ever Seen!!!
Romeo-145 January 1999
Not the worst, but pretty damn bad!!!
FrightMeter12 March 2002
There are some movies that I just can't help but to wonder if anyone actually watched it before they said that it was finished and released in onto the innocent public. This is one of those films! It is hard to fathom exactly what the point of this film was and it definitely has one of the most confusing endings in horror movie history. It is strange though...some parts of the film work very well. With a better script and director, this film actually might have been good. The idea is certainly original. It deals with a low-budget film crew who are making a film about a series of true murders that happened at a high school years before. To top it off, they are using the actual high school as the setting for the film! That part is easy to understand. Where the film becomes a mess is when it jumps from the past to present, to the film being filmed, to reality and so forth. When we think something is real, it turns out to be part of the movie that they are shooting. Again, there are some inspired moments in the film, such as the disection scene and the creep room in the basement, but even those are destroyed by the confusion of whether they are fact or fiction. But none of that matters, because the ending of this film is it's main downfall. What kind of police officers and paramedics were these people when they couldn't tell a real dead body from a fake one??!! What was the point of the crew faking the murders?? Were there ever any murders to begin with??? What did any of the rest of the movie have to do with the final confrontation scene at in the basement?? So many unanswered questions and I find it hard to understand how this got released being as confusing as it is. A total let down considering the description that the box gives. A 3 out of 10, only because it was an original idea that could have been pulled of so well in other hands.
Class dismissed....
FlashCallahan9 November 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Years ago, a mysterious serial-killer caused panic on Crippen High School. The killer was never caught.
A movie company has decided to make a feature movie about these events - on location, at the now abandoned school.
But when members of cast and crew begin to disappear without a trace, it seems as if history is repeating itself...
I have a thing for early eighties horror movies that are not franchises, most are throwaway, silly, but watchable in a campy sort of way.
This detracts a lot of the fun in favour of trying to be something a little different. Like Aprils Fools Day, it's trying to be a little post modern, ironic even, as at this time in the decade, horror movies were rife, but it fails miserably.
Yes Clooney is in it, but hey, the guy had to start somewhere, and he does very little in this.
Its. to very scary, it's certainly not funny, but it does make you yearn for something like Scream, and make you appreciate decent horror movie that were made in the eighties...
A movie company has decided to make a feature movie about these events - on location, at the now abandoned school.
But when members of cast and crew begin to disappear without a trace, it seems as if history is repeating itself...
I have a thing for early eighties horror movies that are not franchises, most are throwaway, silly, but watchable in a campy sort of way.
This detracts a lot of the fun in favour of trying to be something a little different. Like Aprils Fools Day, it's trying to be a little post modern, ironic even, as at this time in the decade, horror movies were rife, but it fails miserably.
Yes Clooney is in it, but hey, the guy had to start somewhere, and he does very little in this.
Its. to very scary, it's certainly not funny, but it does make you yearn for something like Scream, and make you appreciate decent horror movie that were made in the eighties...
Another dreadful 80s slasher spoof.
BA_Harrison31 October 2010
In 1981, Student Bodies proved that there wasn't much mileage in spoofing a genre that was already turning to self-parody in order to survive, but that didn't stop studios from churning out one weak parody after another. Wacko (1982), Pandemonium (1982), Slaughter High (1986), Cutting Class (1989), and following the second wave of slashers in the 90s, Scary Movie (2000), Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the Thirteenth (2000) and Club Dread (2004): just a few prime examples of unimaginative, low-brow humour at its worst.
Return to Horror High (1987) tries to be a little different, with a plot that uses a movie-within-a-movie scenario, flashbacks and nightmares to add a touch of interest, but when all is said and done, it's just another lame, relatively laugh-free spoof. The cast ham it up terribly (given the script, do they really have any other option?), the gore is disappointing (lots of blood, but nothing really gruesome), and the twist ending totally absurd; genuinely amusing moments can be counted on the fingers of one hand.
Watch if you really want to see Marcia from the Brady Bunch rubbing blood over her chest or a pre-fame George Clooney sporting a Hasselhoff hairdo, but don't say you haven't been warned.
2.5 out of 10, generously rounded up to 3 for the gratuitous female locker room scene.
Return to Horror High (1987) tries to be a little different, with a plot that uses a movie-within-a-movie scenario, flashbacks and nightmares to add a touch of interest, but when all is said and done, it's just another lame, relatively laugh-free spoof. The cast ham it up terribly (given the script, do they really have any other option?), the gore is disappointing (lots of blood, but nothing really gruesome), and the twist ending totally absurd; genuinely amusing moments can be counted on the fingers of one hand.
Watch if you really want to see Marcia from the Brady Bunch rubbing blood over her chest or a pre-fame George Clooney sporting a Hasselhoff hairdo, but don't say you haven't been warned.
2.5 out of 10, generously rounded up to 3 for the gratuitous female locker room scene.
YIKES !!
aesgaard4112 February 2001
Where does one begin when he attacks a really bad horror movie ? The actors? This film stars several unknowns including a would-be up and comer named George Clooney (I assume he leaves this farce off his credits) and the few recognizable faces of Alex Rocco, Phillip McKeon and Marcia,,whoops, I mean Maureen McCormick as an oversexed cop. I love the scene where the police chief is distracted while looking her her cleavage covered in blood. ("Uhhhhhh, what was I thinking again?") The script? The plot concerns movie-makers who have returned to the school where an unknown serial killer murdered several kids in order to film a based-on-a-true-story movie. It's a good idea never done before, but the execution of the film flip-flopping between the fake movie and the real movie is so confusing and impossible to follow that you have to believe it was made up as they went along. The rationality is out the window as the movie shows not enough of the behind-the-scenes inter-play and too much fake blood. Even McCormick halfway through stops to admit that there was too much of it. This movie is nothing but a mishmash of badly edited scenes strung together into an incoherent film with some actors playing two to three different roles. It's only worth is as a curiosity or for fans of Marcia,,,,,sorry,Maureen McCormick and George Clooney.
Return to Horror High
rochericky18 June 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Distributor: Anchor Bay DVD
Plot: In 1982, Crippen High School was the scene of brutal murders. The killer was never caught. Now a low budget film crew have returned to the school to film the story of what happened 5 years ago. But when the production crew starts dying off one by one, it appears that the crazed maniac is back. Who will survive the massacre? And what will be left of their careers?
Audio/Video: Excellency as always from Anchor Bay.
Extras: Theatrical Trailer (suprisingly this is the only extra feature from Anchor Bay).
Final Thoughts: This is one of the worst slashers in the 80's, but it is not the worst. I would advise everyone to rent before purchasing just so you can see if you like it or not. If only I got that advice before I spent $15.00 on it.
Plot: In 1982, Crippen High School was the scene of brutal murders. The killer was never caught. Now a low budget film crew have returned to the school to film the story of what happened 5 years ago. But when the production crew starts dying off one by one, it appears that the crazed maniac is back. Who will survive the massacre? And what will be left of their careers?
Audio/Video: Excellency as always from Anchor Bay.
Extras: Theatrical Trailer (suprisingly this is the only extra feature from Anchor Bay).
Final Thoughts: This is one of the worst slashers in the 80's, but it is not the worst. I would advise everyone to rent before purchasing just so you can see if you like it or not. If only I got that advice before I spent $15.00 on it.
Tries to be funny, tries to preach fails at both
gluonpaul28 September 2018
This feels like it was written by a frustrated screenwriter who felt they were being held back by the film industry. It tries to make points but feels like preaching when it does and it tries to be funny... way to hard and fails at that too.
It has a cameo from George Clooney before he was famous but I promise that is no reason to watch, avoid this movie you have better things to do with your time.
It has a cameo from George Clooney before he was famous but I promise that is no reason to watch, avoid this movie you have better things to do with your time.
A nifty and knowing comic take on 80's slasher schlock
Woodyanders26 June 2009
Warning: Spoilers
A low-budget movie crew make a trashy slasher film on location at a high school where a series of murders took place five years ago. Pretty soon a mysterious psycho killer starts bumping off cast and crew members left and write. Director/co-writer Bill Froehlich offers a fun behind-the-scenes glimpse at the chaotic shooting of a down'n'dirty cheapie flick, relates the absorbing story in a complex and tricky flashback-ridden manner, delivers plenty of clever and startling film-within-a-film moments, stages the murder set pieces with reasonable brio, and, best of all, makes several spot-on satiric pot shots about pandering to the lowest common denominator (y'know, graphic and gratuitous sex and violence) and the filmmakers' responsibility to produce something of substantial moral value. Moreover, the killer's true identity is a genuine surprise and the fake-out ending is brilliant. The sound acting from the sturdy cast rates as another significant asset, with stand-out contributions from Alex Rocco as cheerfully shameless sleazeball producer Harry Sleerik, Scott Jacoby as pretentious director Josh Forbes, Brendan Hughes as earnest cop hero Steve Blake, Lori Lethin as sweet lead actress Callie Cassidy, Andy Romano as sensitive Principal Castleman, Richard Brestoff as hapless screenwriter Arthur, Vince Edwards as mean, lecherous biology teacher Richard Bimbaum, Maureen McCormick as eager, bumbling, blood-happy Officer Tyler, and Al Fann as merry janitor Amos. A then unknown George Clooney appears briefly as unreliable lead actor Oliver, who gets offed early on in the picture. Stacy Widelitz's slick cinematography boasts some smooth gliding Steadicam work and a surplus of smoky backlighting. Roy Wagner's spirited shuddery score likewise does the trick. An enjoyable and inspired deconstruction of your basic slice'n'dice fare.
Lampoon, not a horror film!//a spoiler
BloodTheTelepathicDog22 March 2005
Warning: Spoilers
For some reason this film has received many negative responses, I believe it has something to do with people wanting a horror film, but instead get a horror film industry lampoon.
The plot centers around a film crew that sets up shop in an abandoned high school where a series of grisly murders took place. The murderer is still at large, and one by one the cast and crew start disappearing.
Alex Rocco, as the perverted producer, Al Fann as the libido crazed janitor and Maureen McCormick, as a police officer who finds gore arousing, give the best performances here. A young George Clooney is used as our killer's first victim.
The plot centers around a film crew that sets up shop in an abandoned high school where a series of grisly murders took place. The murderer is still at large, and one by one the cast and crew start disappearing.
Alex Rocco, as the perverted producer, Al Fann as the libido crazed janitor and Maureen McCormick, as a police officer who finds gore arousing, give the best performances here. A young George Clooney is used as our killer's first victim.
Don't Bother!
hawkeye-7211 November 2006
Warning: Spoilers
PU!
This was absolutely the WORST movie of all time! The only thing gory about this movie is from all of the viewers that poked out their own eyes after watching it! Sadly it is the BEST thing George Clooney has EVER done!
Gee, I wonder why Maureen McCormick has such a great career?(!)
You'll need to light a scented candle and two cans of air freshener to get the stink of this movie out of your house!
AVOID wasting your money on this piece of crap!
What were Vince Edwards and Alex Rocco thinking when they agreed to be in this turkey?!
This was absolutely the WORST movie of all time! The only thing gory about this movie is from all of the viewers that poked out their own eyes after watching it! Sadly it is the BEST thing George Clooney has EVER done!
Gee, I wonder why Maureen McCormick has such a great career?(!)
You'll need to light a scented candle and two cans of air freshener to get the stink of this movie out of your house!
AVOID wasting your money on this piece of crap!
What were Vince Edwards and Alex Rocco thinking when they agreed to be in this turkey?!
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