Not Quite Human (1987 TV Movie)

Alan Thicke: Dr. Jonas Carson

Quotes 

• Chip Carson : Becky doesn't like me.

  Dr. Jonas Carson : Don't worry.

  Chip Carson : I won't worry, Dad. I don't know how.

• [Becky is inspecting the android her father has built] 

  Becky : He looks a lot like you. You know, where you were young.

  Jonas : Yeah, well I make him a little handsomer than I was at that age.

  Becky : Which is what?

  Jonas : Seventeen.

  Becky : You made him older than me?

  Jonas : Well, you always said you wanted an older brother.

• [Jonas is testing the android's motor functions] 

  Jonas : Very good, C-17. Now raise your left arm.

  [he complies] 

  Jonas : All right. Now dangle legs over the table, left side.

  [he complies] 

  Jonas : Very good. C-17, that's wonderful. Everything's working beautifully.

  Becky : C-17, is that his name?

  Jonas : Well, it is for now until you help me come up with a better one. Something normal.

  Becky : Um, how about something like Sting or Prince, you know, like from a rock group?

  Chip : Which rock group? Igneous or sedimentary?

• Jonas : If anyone tries to reprogram Chip in a negative way, he's programmed to self-destruct.

  Becky : Destroy himself? How awful.

  Jonas : It's a safety precaution. We could never allow Chip to fall into the wrong hands.

  Chip : What if they could bypass the system, dad?

  Jonas : Well, I've thought of that, but first they'd have to know that you had a self-destruct system, which is highly unlikely, but if they found it, well... I have a backup system that I could activate by remote.

  Chip : You could explode me, right dad?

  Jonas : Yes.

• [the Carsons are on the road to their new home] 

  Jonas : I'm hungry, anybody else want to stop for a bite to eat?

  Becky : I'm starving.

  Chip : Me, too.

  Becky : He doesn't have to eat, does he, dad?

  Chip : I'm programmed to have three meals a day.

  Jonas : That's right.

  Becky : But why?

  Jonas : Well, wouldn't it seem strange if Chip were having lunch with his friends and he's the only one who doesn't eat?

  Chip : Kids like to eat. Pizza, hamburger, French fries...

  Becky : Yeah, but how?

  Jonas : I've equipped him with a micro-compactor that compresses all the food he consumes into tiny little packages he can store for the end of the day.

  Becky : That is so gross. I'm not hungry anymore.

• [after reviewing Chip's recording where he practically told his friends that he's an android] 

  Becky : Dad, he's going to ruin everything if he keeps talking like that!

  Chip : Why? It was true.

  [to Jonas] 

  Chip : You programmed me always to tell the truth.

  Becky : Yeah, but you don't have to spell it out, micro-brain.

  Chip : Shouldn't I tell the truth, dad?

  Jonas : No! I mean yes, but human beings have a way of being honest without...

  Becky : Spilling the beans.

  Chip : I see. You mean I can be honest without telling the truth.

  Jonas : Right.

  Chip : Doesn't compute, dad. My logic program rejects it.

• Chip : Dinner's ready.

  Becky : I'm not hungry.

  Chip : Are you upset because Brian is taking Erin to the dance?

  Becky : Please just leave me alone.

  Chip : I can take you to the dance.

  Becky : That's all I need, a 400-pound robo-geek stepping all over my feet. No thanks. Now would you just go away a quit ruing my life, okay?

  Chip : I didn't mean to ruin your life, Becky.

  Becky : Yeah, well you have. Ever since you came into this family.

  Chip : I'm sorry.

  Becky : Just forget it. Look, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings.

  Chip : That's okay... I deserved it.

  [Chip leaves] 

  Becky : Feelings? I don't believe it!

  [she rushes to the kitchen were Chip and Jonas are preparing for dinner] 

  Becky : Dad, you're not gonna believe this! Guess what? I hurt Chip's feelings.

  Jonas : Well why would you want to-what?

  Becky : He said he'd take me to the dance and I said no way and I swear, I hurt his feelings. I could tell.

  Jonas : Now don't jump to any conclusions. You've gotta be rational and scientific. Chip, how do you feel?

  Chip : Feel?

  Jonas : When Becky said she couldn't go to the dance with you. What was your reaction?

  Chip : Something heavy, right in my central computer.

  Jonas : Yes?

  Chip : Something hot, right near my video sensors.

  Jonas : Becky, you may be right. He may be experiencing human emotion.

  Becky : Wow.

  Chip : Is that good?

  Jonas : Good? If it's true, it's fantastic!