Not Quite Human (1987 TV Movie)
Jay Underwood: Chip Carson
Quotes
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Chip Carson : Becky doesn't like me.
Dr. Jonas Carson : Don't worry.
Chip Carson : I won't worry, Dad. I don't know how.
-
[Jonas is testing the android's motor functions]
Jonas : Very good, C-17. Now raise your left arm.
[he complies]
Jonas : All right. Now dangle legs over the table, left side.
[he complies]
Jonas : Very good. C-17, that's wonderful. Everything's working beautifully.
Becky : C-17, is that his name?
Jonas : Well, it is for now until you help me come up with a better one. Something normal.
Becky : Um, how about something like Sting or Prince, you know, like from a rock group?
Chip : Which rock group? Igneous or sedimentary?
-
Jonas : If anyone tries to reprogram Chip in a negative way, he's programmed to self-destruct.
Becky : Destroy himself? How awful.
Jonas : It's a safety precaution. We could never allow Chip to fall into the wrong hands.
Chip : What if they could bypass the system, dad?
Jonas : Well, I've thought of that, but first they'd have to know that you had a self-destruct system, which is highly unlikely, but if they found it, well... I have a backup system that I could activate by remote.
Chip : You could explode me, right dad?
Jonas : Yes.
-
[the Carsons are on the road to their new home]
Jonas : I'm hungry, anybody else want to stop for a bite to eat?
Becky : I'm starving.
Chip : Me, too.
Becky : He doesn't have to eat, does he, dad?
Chip : I'm programmed to have three meals a day.
Jonas : That's right.
Becky : But why?
Jonas : Well, wouldn't it seem strange if Chip were having lunch with his friends and he's the only one who doesn't eat?
Chip : Kids like to eat. Pizza, hamburger, French fries...
Becky : Yeah, but how?
Jonas : I've equipped him with a micro-compactor that compresses all the food he consumes into tiny little packages he can store for the end of the day.
Becky : That is so gross. I'm not hungry anymore.
-
[after reviewing Chip's recording where he practically told his friends that he's an android]
Becky : Dad, he's going to ruin everything if he keeps talking like that!
Chip : Why? It was true.
[to Jonas]
Chip : You programmed me always to tell the truth.
Becky : Yeah, but you don't have to spell it out, micro-brain.
Chip : Shouldn't I tell the truth, dad?
Jonas : No! I mean yes, but human beings have a way of being honest without...
Becky : Spilling the beans.
Chip : I see. You mean I can be honest without telling the truth.
Jonas : Right.
Chip : Doesn't compute, dad. My logic program rejects it.
-
Becky : Go straight home, plug yourself in and wait 'til I get there. First do my math homework, page 52 in the orange book.
Chip : Dad told me never to do your homework or your chores.
Becky : Great, now he's turning human on me. Okay, just forget it then. Just go home.
Chip : Can I speak to anyone? Eron said she wanted to talk to me after school today.
Becky : Eron? No way, forget it! If you see her, run the other way. Understand?
Chip : Why?
Becky : Because she likes you.
Chip : You like Brian, but you're not running away.
Becky : Yeah, but that's different, I'm...
Chip : Human?
Becky : Anyway, who says I like him?
Chip : Well, you blushed and your body temperature rose by two degrees. My heat sensors picked it up.
Becky : That doesn't mean I like him. Three degrees means I like him, two degrees means he's just okay.
Chip : Oh, well his body temperature rose three degrees. Does that mean he likes you?
Becky : Hmm, you might be useful someday after all.
-
Chip : Dinner's ready.
Becky : I'm not hungry.
Chip : Are you upset because Brian is taking Erin to the dance?
Becky : Please just leave me alone.
Chip : I can take you to the dance.
Becky : That's all I need, a 400-pound robo-geek stepping all over my feet. No thanks. Now would you just go away a quit ruing my life, okay?
Chip : I didn't mean to ruin your life, Becky.
Becky : Yeah, well you have. Ever since you came into this family.
Chip : I'm sorry.
Becky : Just forget it. Look, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings.
Chip : That's okay... I deserved it.
[Chip leaves]
Becky : Feelings? I don't believe it!
[she rushes to the kitchen were Chip and Jonas are preparing for dinner]
Becky : Dad, you're not gonna believe this! Guess what? I hurt Chip's feelings.
Jonas : Well why would you want to-what?
Becky : He said he'd take me to the dance and I said no way and I swear, I hurt his feelings. I could tell.
Jonas : Now don't jump to any conclusions. You've gotta be rational and scientific. Chip, how do you feel?
Chip : Feel?
Jonas : When Becky said she couldn't go to the dance with you. What was your reaction?
Chip : Something heavy, right in my central computer.
Jonas : Yes?
Chip : Something hot, right near my video sensors.
Jonas : Becky, you may be right. He may be experiencing human emotion.
Becky : Wow.
Chip : Is that good?
Jonas : Good? If it's true, it's fantastic!
