From the Hip (1987)

Ray Walston: 1st Judge

Quotes 

• 1st Judge : Re-direct, Mr. Weathers?

  Robin 'Stormy' Weathers : Yes, your Honor. Mr. Torkenson, how long have you known the plaintiff, Mr. Wilby?

  Phil Ames : Oh, approximately 12 years.

  Robin 'Stormy' Weathers : And over that duration, did you have an opportunity to form an opinion as to the character of the plaintiff?

  Phil Ames : I did, yeah.

  Robin 'Stormy' Weathers : Could you please state that opinion for the court?

  Phil Ames : You mean what I really think of him?

  Robin 'Stormy' Weathers : Your honest opinion, sir.

  Phil Ames : He's an asshole.

  Jo Ann : Objection!

  1st Judge : You bet. Sustained! The answer will be stricken.

  Robin 'Stormy' Weathers : Sidebar, your Honor.

  1st Judge : Sidebar? What for?

  Robin 'Stormy' Weathers : Because I want a sidebar.

  1st Judge : [Grunts, then directs lawyers to his bench] 

  Robin 'Stormy' Weathers : I respectfully request, your Honor, that the answer be allowed.

  1st Judge : What?

  Robin 'Stormy' Weathers : It should stand. It is relevant.

  1st Judge : And it's offensive. Don't compound it, counselor.

  Robin 'Stormy' Weathers : Your Honor, if I may...

  1st Judge : Tell the witness to rephrase the answer.

  Robin 'Stormy' Weathers : Well, that's just it, your Honor. He can't. The word has a very distinct connotation. There's nothing else that quite captures it.

  Jo Ann : I object. Are you saying the president of a bank can't articulate his thoughts without using profanity?

  Robin 'Stormy' Weathers : What I'm saying, sir, is that there aren't many words to describe the particular slime that your client oozes.

  Jo Ann : Objection!

  1st Judge : Mr. Weathers, just where in the name of God do you think you are?

  Robin 'Stormy' Weathers : I think, your Honor, that I'm in a place where every citizen can have his say.

  1st Judge : Yes, yes, but not in any way he wants to say it. Tell him to pick another word.

  Robin 'Stormy' Weathers : Like what? Deceitful? Dishonest? Conniving? They're all close...

  Jo Ann : Objection!

  Robin 'Stormy' Weathers : But asshole really fits. It's the only word that accurately describes the man, and we can demonstrate just that. Everybody thinks he's an asshole.

  Jo Ann : Son of a bitch!

  Robin 'Stormy' Weathers : Oh, that's good, too!

  Jo Ann : Shut up!

  1st Judge : What the hell?

  [Bangs gavel] 

  1st Judge : Court's adjourned. In my chambers! Now!

• 1st Judge : [adressing two lawyers in court]  What are you two, a comedy team?