Murphy's Law (1986)
Charles Bronson: Jack Murphy
Photos
Quotes
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Frank Vincenzo : [threateningly] Oh, Murphy, let me ask you: you ever hear of Murphy's law? "If anything can possibly go wrong, it will." A lot of things could happen to someone like you: you can get run over by a truck; the gas heater in your apartment could blow up; or you could lose a wheel going down the freeway at 80 miles an hour. Got to remember that.
[Murphy, unimpressed by the mobster's threats, bends forward, smiling]
Jack Murphy : The only law I know is "Jack Murphy's law." It's very simple: don't *fuck* with Jack Murphy. You remember that.
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Joan Freeman : Go to Hell!
Jack Murphy : Ladies first.
[Murphy lets go of the axe. Joan falls to her death]
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Jack Murphy : Can you wire the truck?
Arabella McGee : Does the Pope shit in the woods?
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[after Murphy is arrested, he is taken to the holding cell and handcuffed to another prisoner, who happens to be Arabella, the foul-mouthed teen he arrested shortly before]
Arabella McGee : [snickers gloatingly] Well... if it isn't sergeant dickbrain.
[Murphy does not respond]
Arabella McGee : I heard they arrested a cop. What did you do, raped a nun?
[Murphy still does not respond. Arabella continues teasing him]
Arabella McGee : Listen, you're gonna have a great time at San Quentin, because they just love cops.
[Murphy smiles and finally responds]
Jack Murphy : So, how do you like lockup? Found yourself a "girlfriend" yet, hmm?
[Arabella's smile fades]
Arabella McGee : Kiss my squirrel.
Jack Murphy : C'mon, admit it... you're a dyke, right?
Arabella McGee : [angrily] Hey, go jump a flagpole!
Jack Murphy : You know, I'm a cop. I know everything that happens up there in women's detention. Maybe the first time they have to hold you down, but when you get to like it.
Arabella McGee : [angrier] Kiss my pantyhose, sperm bank!
Jack Murphy : But your girlfriend does that, and you love it, don't you?
[Arabella, unable to restrain herself any longer, jumps to her feet]
Arabella McGee : You fucking bastard!
[Arabella clumsily tries to punch Murphy, but he easily blocks her hands. The security guard approaches and attempts to stop them. Murphy, who expected that, snatches the guard's gun and knocks him unconscious]
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Jack Murphy : Which room is Joan Freeman in?
Hotel Clerk : Sorry, pal, the hotel guest list is confidential.
Jack Murphy : Can you count to five?
Hotel Clerk : Sure.
Jack Murphy : How would you like to try it without teeth?
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[Vincenzo finds a dead body, incorrectly thinking it is Murphy]
Frank Vincenzo : You remember what I told you about Murphy's Law?
[Vincenzo shoots many bullets at the body. He moves closer to the body and turns it over with his shoe, only to find out it is one of his bodyguards. Murphy appears behind Vincenzo, cocks his shotgun and points it at Vincenzo]
Jack Murphy : You remember what I told you?
[Vincenzo turns back to face Murphy]
Jack Murphy : Don't fuck with Jack Murphy.
[Murphy shoots twice, killing the mobster]
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[Murphy tells Arabella about Joan Freeman, the insane murderer who killed Murphy's ex-wife, her husband and Wilcove]
Jack Murphy : It happened about ten years ago. She had a boyfriend who worked as a security guard in the old Bradbury Building, downtown. She was down there visiting him one day, and they got into an argument. Then she flipped out, grabbed his gun, and shot him. By the time we got there, she was up on the roof with a hostage.
Arabella McGee : And so that's why she framed you. And she killed Wilcove, 'cause he was your partner and the two of you arrested her.
Jack Murphy : Yeah, and Kellerman, because he was the judge at the trial.
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Jack Murphy : I don't like mayonaisse!
