Leigh McCloskey: Russell Proco
Quotes
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Dr. Gotbottom : Before Dean DuBerry arranged for you to see me, Mr. Proco, I pulled your record.
Russell Proco : [to himself] Oh Geez.
Dr. Gotbottom : Four colleges in three years? Don't you like school?
Russell Proco : Of course... I've tried four.
[laughs nervously]
Dr. Gotbottom : Russell, according to the Dean's office, you rarely attend your classes. Why?
Russell Proco : Doctor, my parents really want me to have a college education and make something of myself, but all I do at school is have sex.
Dr. Gotbottom : [reading Russell's record] Expelled, lewd conduct. Expelled, nude conduct. Hospitalized... your thing in a sling?
[addressing Russell again]
Dr. Gotbottom : Do you believe yourself to be God's gift to women?
Russell Proco : No, of course not. I just ask a girl to a movie and before we can get out of the house, we're in bed. It's been like this since my Freshman year. I haven't seen a movie since E.T.
Dr. Gotbottom : Russell, you must learn to exercise a little sexual self-control if you expect to succeed in life. Now, I know that these are liberal times and, well, I'm not exactly blind
[gets out of her chair, comes around the desk and takes off her glasses]
Dr. Gotbottom : It's no secret, women of all ages want virile, hard-bodied young men...
[takes the ribbon from her hair and pulls it down]
Dr. Gotbottom : ... like you.
Russell Proco : Then I'm normal?
Dr. Gotbottom : Let's find out.
[She straddles him and pulls open her shirt, revealing her bare breasts]
Russell Proco : You're the doctor.
Dr. Gotbottom : [as they kiss, the Dean walks in and startles both of them] Dean DuBerry!
Russell Proco : My father's gonna kill me.
[smash cut to Russell at home being strangled by his father]
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Russell's Father : [choking him after he's been caught naked with the school psychiatrist] The school shrink! You don't go around bopping school shrinks!
Russell Proco : She started it!
Russell's Father : She started it? Did she started at Penn State? Did she start it at Wyoming State?
Russell Proco : Dad! They always start it, I'm a goddamn victim of nature.
Russell's Father : Baloney! You got a mouth, use it!
Russell Proco : [smirking] That's just the problem, I always do.
Russell's Father : I mean to say no to women when it's appropriate.
Russell's Mother : Four schools have bent over backwards for you, Russell.
Russell's Father : It's the co-eds who bend over backwards!
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Russell Proco : Don't tell me, you forgot your dick.
Conchita : I want yours!
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Conchita : Oh, you fruitcake! What good are you? I come to this country to find a real man. And I will.
[slams the door]
Russell Proco : Bitch.
