Ghostbusters (1984)
Rick Moranis: Louis Tully
Photos
Quotes
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[Egon is running tests on Louis, who has been possessed by Vinz Clortho and is now the Keymaster]
Dr. Egon Spengler : Vinz, you said before you were waiting for a sign. What sign are you waiting for?
Louis : Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!
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Dr. Raymond Stantz : Are you okay?
Louis : Who are you guys?
Dr. Raymond Stantz : We're the Ghostbusters.
Louis : Who does your taxes?
Dr. Raymond Stantz : You know, Mr. Tully, you are a most fortunate individual.
Louis : I know!
Dr. Raymond Stantz : You have been a participant in the biggest interdimensional cross rip since the Tunguska blast of 1909!
Louis : Felt great.
Dr. Egon Spengler : We'd like to get a sample of your brain tissue.
Louis : Okay.
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Louis : [Louis, as the possessed Keymaster Vinz Clortho, runs out of Central Park, scaring a married couple] I am the Keymaster! The Destructor is coming. Gozer the Traveler, the Destroyer.
[Louis pants and sniffs, then notices a horse carriage; horse neighs]
Louis : Gatekeeper.
[Walk over towards the horse]
Louis : I am Vinz, Vinz Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer. Volguus Zildrohar, Lord of the Sebouillia. Are you the Gatekeeper?
Coachman : Hey, he pulls the wagon, I made the deals. You want a ride?
[the possessed Louis growls at the coachman with his red-glowing eyes]
Louis : [to the horse] Wait for the sign. Then our prisoners will be released.
[Runs amok, scaring bystanders; yelling]
Louis : You will perish in flame, you and all your kind! Gatekeeper!
Coachman : What an asshole.
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[Louis has been possessed by Vinz Clortho a.k.a. The Keymaster]
Janine Melnitz : Do you want some coffee, Mr. Tulley?
Louis : [to Egon] Do I?
Dr. Egon Spengler : Yes, have some.
Louis : [to Janine] Yes, have some.
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Woman at Party : [coming up to Louis during party] Do you have any Excedrin or extra-strength Tylenol?
Louis : [opening cabinet] Gee, I think all I got is acetylsalicylic acid, generic. See, I can get six hundred tablets of that for the same price as three hundred of a name brand. That makes good financial sense, good advice...
[takes platter back into living room]
Louis : Hey, this is real smoked salmon from Nova Scotia, Canada, $24.95 a pound! It only cost me $14.12 after tax, though.
[walks up to a hapless guest, speaking confidentially]
Louis : I'm givin' this whole thing as a promotional expense, that's why I invited clients instead of friends. You havin' a good time, Mark?
[heads across the room, greeting other guests]
Louis : How you doing? Why don't you have some of the brie, it's at room temperature!
[to the Tall Woman]
Louis : You think it's too warm in here for the brie?
Tall Woman at Party : [standing] Louis, I'm going home.
Louis : Aw, don't leave yet. Well, listen, maybe if we start dancing other people will join in!
Tall Woman at Party : [pauses] Okay!
[Louis and the Tall Woman begin disco dancing. Suddenly the doorbell rings]
Louis : Oh, don't move, I just gotta get the door.
[opens door, greeting guests]
Louis : Ted! Annette! I'm glad you could come, how you doin', give me your coats. Everybody, this is Ted and Annette Fleming! Ted has a small carpet cleaning business in receivership; Annette's drawing a salary from a deferred bonus from two years ago! They got fifteen thousand left on the house at eight percent.
[throws the guests' coats in the closet, oblivious that they hit the demon Vinz Clortho hiding there]
Louis : So they're okay! So, does anybody wanna play Parcheesi?
[Vinz Clortho growls from inside the bedroom]
Louis : [grinning] Okay, who brought the dog?
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[the Ghostbusters HQ blows up]
Louis : [possessed by Vinz Clortho a.k.a. The Keymaster] This is it! This is the sign!
Janine Melnitz : Yeah, it's a sign, all right. "Going out of business."
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[Louis is being chased by the demon Vinz Clortho]
Louis : [frightened] I'm going bring this up with the Tenants' Association. You're not supposed to have pets in the building.
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Louis : Boy, the superintendent's gonna be pissed!
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Dana Barrett : [gets off the elevator and Louis comes out of his apartment]
Louis : Oh, Dana, it's you!
Dana Barrett : Oh hi. Yes Louis, it's me.
Louis : I thought it was the drugstore.
Dana Barrett : Oh, are you sick?
Louis : Oh! No, no, I'm fine, I feel great! Just ordered some more vitamins and stuff. I was just exercising. I taped a 20-minute workout and played it back at high speed on my machine so it only took ten minutes. I got a great workout.
Dana Barrett : Good...
Louis : You wanna come in for a mineral water or something?
Dana Barrett : Oh, I'd really like to, Louis, but I have to go rehearsal now. Excuse me.
Louis : No sweat, I'll take a rain check on that. I always have plenty of low sodium mineral water and other nutritious foods in the house. But you already know that.
Dana Barrett : [dryly] Yeah, I know that...
Louis : Listen, that reminds me, I'm having a big party for all my clients, my fourth anniversary as an accountant, you know, and even though you do your own tax return, which you shouldn't do, I'd like you to stop by, being that you're my neighbor and all.
Dana Barrett : [interrupting] Well thank you, Louis, I'll really try to stop by.
Louis : Listen, that reminds me, you shouldn't leave your TV on so loud when you go out. The creep down the hall phoned the manager.
Dana Barrett : That's strange, I didn't realize I'd left it on.
[unlocks her door]
Louis : [droning on] Well yeah, you know what I did? I climbed on the ledge and tried to disconnect the cable, but I couldn't get in, so you know what I did? I turned my TV up real loud too so everyone would think all our TVs had something wrong with them.
Dana Barrett : [abruptly closing her door] Bye, Louis.
Louis : [alone again] Okay, so I'll see you later, huh? I'll give you a call! I'm going to go have a shower.
[tries to go back into his apartment but he's locked himself out]
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Louis : [possessed by Vinz Clortho] I am The Keymaster!
Dana Barrett : [possessed by Zuul] I am The Gatekeeper!
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Louis : [cornered by the the demon Vinz Clortho] Nice doggy. Cute little pooch. Maybe I've got a Milk-Bone.
