Local Hero (1983)

Peter Riegert: Mac

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Quotes 

• Mac : Whose baby?

• [approaching Ben's beach shanty] 

  Victor : Where's the door here?

  Urquhart : There is no door. Just knock on the window.

  Mac : Jesus, how do you do business with someone who doesn't have a door?

  Victor : The ethics are just the same.

• Mac : [desperate to make the deal]  Look, how much do you want?

  Ben : [fills his hands with sand]  Would you pay me a pound for every grain of sand in my hand?

  [drops some sand] 

  Ben : Ah, well, that saves you some. Well, would you do it?

  Mac : No. Of course not.

  Ben : Ah, well that's a pity. You missed out on a good bargain, for I can only hold about ten thousand grains of sand in my hands. Did you think it would be more?

• Rev Macpherson : You want to buy my church?

  Mac : Not as a going concern.

• Mac : [drunkenly]  I'll make a good Gordon, Gordon.

• Happer : What about the sky?

  Mac : [observing the northern lights]  Sky, sir? It's amazing. I wish you could see it! I wish I could describe it to you like I'm seeing it!

• Urquhart : [acting as bartender]  I want you to try this Scotch. It's 42 years old.

  Mac : Old enough to be out on its own.

• Rev Macpherson : What can I do for you?

  Mac : We're here on - kind of a mission.

  Rev Macpherson : Same here.

• Mac : [not realizing that the innkeeper is Urquhart]  We have to talk to a Mr Urquhart, an accountant. Can you tell me where we might find him?

  Urquhart : Indeed, yes. He has an office next door, to the left, on the first floor. I know for a fact that he'll be there in about 15 minutes.

• Mac : What's the most amazing thing you've ever found?

  Ben : Impossible to say. You see, there's something amazing every two or three weeks.

• Mac : Cal, I got a confession to make. I'm not Scottish. Man, oh man. Do you think I should tell Fountain?

  Cal : Hell, no. Don't spoil the fun. Take the trip.

  Mac : My folks changed their name when they got off the boat from Hungary. They thought Macintyre was American.

• [after hitting a rabbit on the road] 

  Oldsen : Why don't we kill it? Hit it with something hard...

  Mac : You've already done that with a two-ton automobile!

• Mac : Where are we?

  Oldsen : The last coupla road sign were in Gaelic. It's not one of my languages.

  Mac : You speak languages?

  Oldsen : French, Italian, Spanish. Greek, Turkish, Russian, Swedish, German, Japanese, Dutch, and Polish. I have a facility with languages.

  Mac : I've got some chocolate and some gum. What have you got?

  Oldsen : Nothing. Niente. Nada. Rien...

• Mac : I've got some very fine beaches here... any beach that takes your fancy I'll get for you.

• Urquhart : How's the casserole de lapin?

  Mac : Excellent.

  Urquhart : Terrific. Thank you.

  Oldsen : [thinking a moment]  Lapin? That's rabbit.

  Mac : Is this my rabbit?

  Oldsen : Harry!

  Mac : Trudy!

  Urquhart : We don't allow animals in the bedrooms, I should have told you sooner.

• Mac : [regarding the eaten rabbit]  It was a pet, not an animal. It had a name, you don't eat things with names, this is horrific!

• Mac : Did you cook my rabbit?

• Townsman : Mister Mac! That was a telephone call from America, there's a Mister Happer coming to see you.

  Mac : Happer?

  Townsman : Yes, H-A-P-P...

  [he pauses to think] 

  Townsman : ...P-E-R. They spelt it for me!

• Mac : Do you know about the stars, Ben?

  Ben : Well, I know my way around this sky.

  Mac : What about comets? Any around?

  Ben : Did you want to buy a comet, as well?

  Mac : Maybe.

  Ben : If you want to find a comet, you just have to look long enough in the right place.

• Oldsen : Whaddya thinkin' about?

  Mac : Girls. Naked girls.

  Oldsen : Me too.

  Mac : In a fishtank.

  Oldsen : Yeah.

• Mac : [staring at the sky while talking to Mr. Happer]  It's red all over! It's red all over!

• Mac : [staring at the mob nearing Ben's house]  Maybe they just want to talk to him?

• Mac : [both men are drunk]  Would you leave Stella here with me?

  Urquhart : Sure I will.

  Mac : You're a good guy, Gordon.

• Mac : How come you're here?

  Victor : Fishing. I have been coming here for years. I like it here.

• Mac : Go piss up a rope!

• Mac : Could you imagine a world without oil? No automobiles, no heat.

  Oldsen : And polish.

  Mac : No ink.

  Oldsen : And nylon.

  Mac : No detergents.

  Oldsen : And Perspex. You wouldn't get any Perspex.

  Mac : No polythene.

  Oldsen : Dry-cleaning fluid.

  Mac : And water-proof coats. They make dry-cleaning fluid out of oil?

  Oldsen : Oh, yeah, didn't you know that?

• Mac : Do I really have to go there? I'm more of a telex man. I could fix the deals in an afternoon over the phone, like with Salinas last year?

  Fountain : It's not like Mexico, Macintyre. We're dealing with people like ourselves. You're a Scot. You'll be dealing with your own people. That's why you're going. You won't be dealing with a bunch of Indians.

• Mac : Cal, will you look after Africa for me while I'm gone?

  Cal : All of Africa?

  Mac : Nah, just the west coast deals. Yeah, Sarah's got the files. We've got the Congo development minister's tit in the wringer so squeeze another 5% of the crude oil gross out of him and I think we can close this deal.

• Happer : Virgo is well up this time of year.

  Mac : Sir?

  Happer : I'm talking about the sky, Macintyre. The constellation of Virgo is very prominent in the sky right now, in Scotland. I want you to keep an eye on Virgo for me. Will you do that?

• Oldsen : What do you make of Urquhart, then?

  Mac : He smells the money.

• Mac : Cal, don't get up, but I've just been called upstairs. I mean, I'm going to go upstairs and meet the man. I mean, this could be it, Bubba. Big doings! When was the last time you know anybody was called upstairs, huh? And I get to ride the express elevator, too.

• Mac : You're the pervert! Oh, look it, just piss up a rope, all right?

• Oldsen : Do you think Gordon and Stella do it every night?

  Mac : Of course not.

• Mac : Don't know why I'm here. I'm more of a telex man. Could sew this whole deal up in one afternoon over the wires. That's the kind of person I am. I need electricity.

• Mac : Don't know about those jets. They really spoil a very nice area.

  Oldsen : Oh, it's a crime.

  Mac : Yeah.

• Urquhart : We have to be talkin' about millions.

  Mac : Maybe.

  Urquhart : What kind of millions do you reckon we're talkin' about?

  Mac : We'll have to talk about that.

• Mac : Jesus, look. Holy cow! Jesus!

  Urquhart : Calm down, Mac. It's just a meteor shower.

• Mac : There's extraordinary things happening in the sky. And as you suggested, I'll watch Virgo as well. And I'll let you know if anything - God! It just went red all over! It's red all over!

• Mac : I have a proposition for you, Gordon. I know I may be a bit tipsy, but I want you to consider this seriously. Okay?

  Urquhart : Okay.

  Mac : Okay. I want to swap with you - everything. I want to stay here, run the hotel, do little bits of business. You can go to Houston. Take the Porsche, the house, the job. It's a good life there, Gordon. I pull down 80,000 a year, plus I have over 50,000 in mixed securities. I want you to have it all. There's nothing due on the car, it's pure ownership. And I won't let down your good name here, Gordon. I'll make a good Gordon, Gordon. What do you say, pal?

  Urquhart : What about Stella?

  Mac : I was coming to that.

• Urquhart : Go and see her, Mac.

  Mac : You say toodle-oo for me, Gordon. And toodle-oo to you, too.

• Mac : Where are we?

• [repeated line] 

  Mac : [concerning the payphone]  I need more change!