- Jane Mitchell: Look, whatever happened last night, I faked every bit of it.
- [Jane starts to walk off]
- Peyton Nichols: Jane!
- [She stops and looks back]
- Peyton Nichols: That's why it was so good.
- Dexter Jones: [stoned and dreaming] Mr. Einstein! I'm feeling strange. Someone's putting some shit on my mind.
- Albert Einstein: Sounds like too many chili dogs, Dex. Have to learn to relax!
- Rose Burnhart: But there was marijuana there! I saw it!
- Walter J. Coolidge: I think you smoked it, Miss Bernhardt.
- Barney Springboro: You talkin' to me?
- Bully #2: Yeah pal, he's talkin' to you.
- Barney Springboro: Are you talkin' to me?
- Jane Mitchell: He already said he was, Barney.
- Barney Springboro: Well, you must be talkin' to me. I'm the only one here.
- Peyton Nichols: Where am I, Barn?
- Walter J. Coolidge: Dexter, keep this to yourself, okay?
- Dexter Jones: Always do! I got a file in my head two feet thick 'bout a WHOLE lotta things you do that I keep to myself.
- Robert Wolcott: Ready buddy?
- Peyton Nichols: Ready Freddie!
- Robert Wolcott: Don't you ever call me that. Call me that again, and I'll kill you!
- Peyton Nichols: Well, well, you two like some refreshments? Plenty of punch left in those watermelons over there.
- Jane Mitchell: Looks like you had your share.
- Peyton Nichols: Oh, I had a little. Sure love some more.
- Robert Wolcott: I've had just about enough of you, buddy.
- Jane Mitchell: Who are you going to the prom with, Barney? Why don't you go with one of your mice friends?
- Dexter Jones: Alan, take your finger outta your nose. What'd I tell you about that shit? Now suck it!
- Walter J. Coolidge: Dexter, do you have your pass key on you?
- Dexter Jones: Sure do, Mr. C. What do you need?
- Walter J. Coolidge: My key doesn't seem to work in this lock.
- Dexter Jones: We all seem to have that same problem sometimes, now don't we?