Airplane II: The Sequel (1982)

Julie Hagerty: Elaine Dickinson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Simon : Just a few more hours and change 'til liftoff.

  Elaine Dickinson : I'm very excited, Simon.

  Simon : Guess this is a first for you, eh kid?

  Elaine Dickinson : No, I've been excited before.

• Elaine Dickinson : [speaking into handset]  Hello, this is the Mayflower. Come in. Anyone?

  Steve McCroskey : Okay okay. Now we're making some headway.

  [responds into handset] 

  Steve McCroskey : Yeah yeah, we read you Mayflower. Identify yourself.

  Elaine Dickinson : Well, this is Elaine Dickinson. I'm 5-foot-8, 123 pounds. I have, uh, brown hair, blue eyes. I enjoy surfing, backgammon and men who aren't afraid to cry.

• Elaine Dickinson : Ted, I have the strangest feeling we've been through this exact same thing before.

• Simon : My God! The sun!

  Elaine Dickinson : What is it, Simon?

  Simon : A large, fiery ball at the center of our solar system, but that's not important now. We're headed right for it.

• ROC : Voice interface.

  Elaine Dickinson : There's an overheat in the core. Please analyze problem.

  ROC : There is no apparent overheat.

  Elaine Dickinson : Yes, there is, ROC. We read a core overheat. Repeat analysis.

  ROC : Analysis confirmed. All systems compute positive.

  Elaine Dickinson : Well, not from where I'm sitting they don't!

  ROC : Look, Elaine. Cut the "not from where I'm sitting" shit. It must be a human error.

  [Elaine turns to the captain] 

  Elaine Dickinson : Captain, I think we have a computer foul-up!

  Capt. Oveur : I see.

  Elaine Dickinson : Well, what do you recommend, Captain?

  Capt. Oveur : Maybe you'd better run it through the computer.

  Elaine Dickinson : But sir, I already have!

  Capt. Oveur : Good!

• Elaine Dickinson : [On P.A]  Ladies and gentlemen, please calm down. Please listen to me! I want to tell you what's going on with the ship! Thank you. We've been thrown off course just a tad.

  Tad Woman : Miss? What exactly is "a tad?"

  Elaine Dickinson : In space terms, that's about half a million miles. The bumps you feel are asteroids smashing into the hull of the ship. Also we're flying without a navigational system and can't seem to change course.

  Dr. Stone : Miss, are you telling us absolutely everything?

  Elaine Dickinson : Not exactly. We're also out of coffee.

  [the passengers, who stayed calm for the other disastrous announcement, become hysterical] 

• Striker : Elaine, we're going to have to blow the computer!

  Elaine Dickinson : Blow ROC?

  [a smiling face appears on the computer] 

• Testa : Captain, Mr. Dunn and Mr. Unger were sucked out an air lock in the computer room!

  Captain Clarence Oveur : Both together?

  Testa , Elaine Dickinson : [together]  Mr. Dunn and Mr. Unger were sucked out an air lock in the computer room!

  Captain Clarence Oveur : Don't panic. Calm down, ladies. Now, are there any other problems?

  Mary, Shuttle Stewardess : [races in the cockpit]  Captain, we've run out of coffee.

  Captain Clarence Oveur : Damn! If I've told them once I've told them a hundred times, store extra coffee!

• Elaine Dickinson : Ted, Ted, Simon just ejected.

  Striker : Sit down, Elaine. If this bomb trick works, we might make it. Simon was a fool to eject now.

  Elaine Dickinson : You mean?

  Striker : That's right. Premature ejection.

• Nurse : Excuse me, ma'am. There's some pretty badly banged up people back there. I'm gonna need some fresh sheets, gauze, Q-Tips, and all the vasoline you have on board.

  Elaine Dickinson : Ted, please.

  Nurse : Right now!

  Injured Man : Are you the nurse?

  Nurse : Yes, take this. The washroom's just right down there, on the right.

• Elaine Dickinson : I'm gonna go get Ted, just don't fall apart on me now!

• Elaine Dickinson : Oh, Simon, you shouldn't have. I guess, I'm a very lucky woman, aren't I?

  Simon : Well, women and the space program have come a long way, sweetheart. But after the wedding, no more complicated computers for my little girl.

  Elaine Dickinson : But, darling, they've offered me a chance to head up the computer analysis division for the Jupiter probe.

  Simon : You're heading up the division in charge of babies for Mr. and Mrs. Simon Kurtz. That's an order, Lieutenant.

• Elaine Dickinson : Oh. Sir, you should really put that case in the compartment above your head.

  The Bomber : I'll - I'll keep it with me.

  Elaine Dickinson : Well, I can help you if you can't get it up.

• Elaine Dickinson : Well, just to be on the safe side, should I check the rear data banks?

  Capt. Oveur : No. Why don't you check the rear data banks?

  Elaine Dickinson : Yes, sir.

• Elaine Dickinson : Things started to come apart. He was obsessed with that shuttle. He started to talk about it all the time, even at night in bed - and I guess that's when the real problems started.

  The Judge : Please elaborate.

  Elaine Dickinson : Well, at first, sex between us was a wonderful experience - the way he touched me. He was so gentle. He'd unbutton my blouse - and then - and then... We drifted apart. I'm sorry. I can't go on.

• Elaine Dickinson : Captain, I don't think we have any alternatives.

  Capt. Oveur : I see. What do you think our alternatives are?

  Elaine Dickinson : We have to disconnect ROC's higher brain function without disturbing he's regulatory system.

  Capt. Oveur : That computer has a self-defense mechanism, Elaine. Dunn and Unger tried to disconnect it, you heard what happened to them.

  Elaine Dickinson : I know. Sucked out.

• Simon : What am I gonna do? My career will be ruined.

  Elaine Dickinson : Your career? What about the careers of the people on this ship? The lawyers, the architects, the dental hygienists?