Airplane II: The Sequel (1982)

Laurie Hagen: Tad Woman

Quotes 

• Father O'Flanagan : I'm Father O'Flanagan, and I am a man of God. Therefore you must trust me when I tell you that we're all likely going to die.

  [All of the passengers start panicking and start punching each other. A hockey referee is seen trying to separate the attacking members of his hockey team, and other passengers are repeatedly slugging the same people over and over] 

  Father O'Flanagan : [a montage of newspaper headlines shows up. First is the headline from the Daily Star: "Lunar Shuttle Heads For Disaster." Followed by the headline for The Jerausalem News: "They Shouldn't Have Gone In The First Place," and then lastly, the headline for The International Inquirer: "Man Has Sex Change - Marries Self."] 

  Buffalo Anchorman : Our Top Story Tonight: Four-Alarm Fire Rages Through Downtown Buffalo. Also in the News: Lunar Shuttle heads for the Sun, and Certain Disaster.

  Tokyo Anchorman : Our Top Story Tonight: Four-Alarm Fire Rages Through Downtown Tokyo. Also in the News: American Lunar Mission Locked in Death Struggle.

  [on the monitor behind him is a clip of Godzilla eating a Lunar Shuttle] 

  Moscow Anchorman : [with a gun being held to his head]  A four-alarm fire in Downtown Moscow clears way for a glorious new tractor factory, And, on the lighter side of the news, Hundreds of Capitalists are Soon to Perish in Shuttle Disaster.

  [as we cut to the next clip, the sound of a gunshot is heard] 

  Tad Woman : [on a talk show]  If this canned beet was run by vegetarian women rather than flesh-eating men, this whole space disaster would never have happened. You know right now, we're working to raise the consciousness of the vegetarian minorities with diet sensitivity training, so that people will be able to deal with the foul...

• Elaine Dickinson : [On P.A]  Ladies and gentlemen, please calm down. Please listen to me! I want to tell you what's going on with the ship! Thank you. We've been thrown off course just a tad.

  Tad Woman : Miss? What exactly is "a tad?"

  Elaine Dickinson : In space terms, that's about half a million miles. The bumps you feel are asteroids smashing into the hull of the ship. Also we're flying without a navigational system and can't seem to change course.

  Dr. Stone : Miss, are you telling us absolutely everything?

  Elaine Dickinson : Not exactly. We're also out of coffee.

  [the passengers, who stayed calm for the other disastrous announcement, become hysterical]