Airplane II: The Sequel (1982)

Chad Everett: Simon Kurtz

Photos 

Quotes 

• Simon : Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet your captain, Captain Oveur.

  Capt. Oveur : Gentlemen, welcome aboard.

  Simon : Captain, your navigator, Mr. Unger, and your first officer, Mr. Dunn.

  Capt. Oveur : Unger.

  Unger : Oveur.

  Dunn : Oveur.

  Capt. Oveur : Dunn. Gentlemen, let's get to work.

  Simon : Unger, didn't you serve under Oveur in the Air Force?

  Unger : Not directly. Technically, Dunn was under Oveur and I was under Dunn.

  Dunn : Yep.

  Simon : So, Dunn, you were under Oveur and over Unger.

  Unger : Yep.

  Capt. Oveur : That's right. Dunn was over Unger and I was over Dunn.

  Unger : So, you see, both Dunn and I were under Oveur, even though I was under Dunn.

  Capt. Oveur : Dunn was over Unger, and I was over Dunn.

• Simon : Just a few more hours and change 'til liftoff.

  Elaine Dickinson : I'm very excited, Simon.

  Simon : Guess this is a first for you, eh kid?

  Elaine Dickinson : No, I've been excited before.

• Jimmy : Can I ask you a question?

  Striker : What is it?

  Jimmy : It's an interrogative statement, used to test knowledge. But that's not important now, mister. Is my dog Scraps, is gonna make it through okay? I'm scared mister, somebody has to do something.

  Striker : Scraps, is going to be fine son. You'll both, be just fine.

  [Striker, puts Jimmy's face in the icing of the cake] 

  Simon : Striker, listen to me. I don't want you to do this. They forced me to cut corners...

  Striker : Get outta my way!

  Simon : Help me, Striker for Christ -

  [Striker, slugs Simon in the face] 

• Simon : My God! The sun!

  Elaine Dickinson : What is it, Simon?

  Simon : A large, fiery ball at the center of our solar system, but that's not important now. We're headed right for it.

• Elaine Dickinson : Oh, Simon, you shouldn't have. I guess, I'm a very lucky woman, aren't I?

  Simon : Well, women and the space program have come a long way, sweetheart. But after the wedding, no more complicated computers for my little girl.

  Elaine Dickinson : But, darling, they've offered me a chance to head up the computer analysis division for the Jupiter probe.

  Simon : You're heading up the division in charge of babies for Mr. and Mrs. Simon Kurtz. That's an order, Lieutenant.

• Simon : What am I gonna do? My career will be ruined.

  Elaine Dickinson : Your career? What about the careers of the people on this ship? The lawyers, the architects, the dental hygienists?