Airplane II: The Sequel (1982)

Lloyd Bridges: Steve McCroskey

Photos 

Quotes 

• Steve McCroskey : Jacobs, I want to know absolutely everything that's happened up till now.

  Jacobs : Well, let's see. First the earth cooled. And then the dinosaurs came, but they got too big and fat, so they all died and they turned into oil. And then the Arabs came and they bought Mercedes Benzes. And Prince Charles started wearing all of Lady Di's clothes. I couldn't believe it. He took her best summer dress, put it on and went to town.

• Steve McCroskey : Jacobs, what have you got on Elaine Dickinson?

  Jacobs : Well, I'm two inches taller, a better dancer, and much more fun to be with.

• Steve McCroskey : Striker? Striker, Striker,

  [turns away from his control screen] 

  Steve McCroskey : *Strike Her*!

  [a man behind McCroskey punches a woman] 

• Elaine Dickinson : [speaking into handset]  Hello, this is the Mayflower. Come in. Anyone?

  Steve McCroskey : Okay okay. Now we're making some headway.

  [responds into handset] 

  Steve McCroskey : Yeah yeah, we read you Mayflower. Identify yourself.

  Elaine Dickinson : Well, this is Elaine Dickinson. I'm 5-foot-8, 123 pounds. I have, uh, brown hair, blue eyes. I enjoy surfing, backgammon and men who aren't afraid to cry.

• Steve McCroskey : [speaking to the entire control room]  Now listen to me and listen good. If you got any ideas, any ideas at all, now is the time. I want to hear them and I want to hear them now!

  Jacobs : How about a game show like Hollywood Squares but with kids? Gary Coleman could host.

• Steve McCroskey : [after hearing Striker on the radio]  A man - now that's more like it.

  [to the radio] 

  Steve McCroskey : Come in Mayflower 1, give me your name and position.

  Striker : My name's Striker and I'm sitting down and facing front. Why would you want to know that?

• Steve McCroskey : And I can sum it all up in just one word: courage, dedication, daring, pride, pluck, spirit, grit, mettle, and G-U-T-S, *guts*. Why, Ted Striker's got more guts in his little finger than most of us have in our large intestine, including the colon!

• Steve McCroskey : Would somebody please tell me what in Sam Hill a woman is doing up there in charge of that ship?

  Jacobs : Well maybe she's got her ship together.

• Steve McCroskey : Listen good. That thing is bound to come apart on you at that speed, and that's no good! It's got to be in one piece when you land on the moon! You know damn well that that warp drive has never been tested!

  [stabs his cigarette into the left hand of the controller sitting next to him] 

  Steve McCroskey : You're putting yourself and everybody else on that ship in jeopardy!

  [cuts to the cabin of the shuttle, where Art Fleming is suddenly doing a match of Jeopardy! with the passengers as the contestants] 

  Jeopardy Host : All right, Contestant #38.

  Male Passenger : Art, I'll take Air Shuttle Disasters for $40.

  Jeopardy Host : The answer is...

  [the display with $40 on it rotates to reveal the answer] 

  Jeopardy Host : ... the Mayflower!

• Steve McCroskey : [he hears lots of static on his two-way radio]  Striker, you're fading out! Come in. Over.

  [more static] 

  Steve McCroskey : Damn! We lost him!

  Controller #1 : Could be those sun spots.

  Jacobs : Could be your dishwashing detergent.

• Hallick : Passenger's name is Joe Saluki. He was supposed to fly to Des Moines for an operation, something to do with sexual impotence...

  Steve McCroskey : The Des Moines Institute?

  Hallick : You know it?

  Steve McCroskey , Bud Kruger , The Commissioner : We're familiar with it.

• Steve McCroskey : Get me radio contact with that ship, pronto!

  Controller #1 : Yes, sir!

  Controller #3 : [walks over carrying some papers. He is carrying them with an oven mitt]  Here's all the available information on the sun, sir. That thing is *hot*.

  [McCroskey touches the hot papers and burns his hand] 

  Steve McCroskey : Get me Bud Kruger immediately and some ice!

  Controller #3 : Yes, sir.

  Steve McCroskey : Jacobs.

  [Jacobs hops over] 

  Steve McCroskey : I want to know absolutely everything that's happened up 'til now.

  Controller Jacobs : Well, let's see: First, the Earth cooled. And then the dinosaurs came, but they got too big and fat, so they all died and they turned into oil. And then the Arabs came and they bought Mercedes-Benzes. And Prince Charles started wearing all of Lady Di's clothes. I couldn't believe it.

  [Jacobs turns and starts to walk away, continuing to speak, trailing off as he gets further from the camera] 

  Controller Jacobs : He took her best summer dress out of the closet and he put it on and went to town...

  Steve McCroskey : [walks over to a wall and stands next to a portrait that depicts him standing next to a portrait that depicts him]  Things sure haven't changed.