- Richie Atterbury: Amy'll hit it off for sure. Buzz is a terrific guy.
- Liz Duncan: She's stoned. When you're stoned, Charles Manson is a terrific guy.
- Mrs. Harper: I don't see why you wanna waste your time with a guy who works in a filling station.
- Amy Harper: It's a first date, Mama. We're not getting married.
- Funhouse: I've been expecting you.
- Amy Harper: Why are you doing this? Why are you trying to kill us?
- Funhouse: I'm just protecting my family.
- Amy Harper: Your family? But that guy... He's not even human.
- Funhouse: The Lord works in mysterious ways, little lady. He ain't such a bad fella. My son does get himself in all sorts of trouble, though, don't he? Anyway, blood is thicker than water. I'm sure he's gonna be a real comfort to me in my old age. Now, how many people know you're here?
- Amy Harper: [lying] Lots. Our parents... they all know.
- Funhouse: [scoffs] Well, no matter. We'll be pullin' outta here tomorrow mornin'. There's plenty other carnivals.
- Buzz Klemmet: What'd you do with Liz? The other girl?
- Funhouse: Oh, I expect by now he's just finishin' up with her. We'll just wait here till he gets back.
- Amy Harper: [CUTTING-ROOM FLOOR-LINE: Amy steps forward, in tears] Listen, we're sorry we took the money. We don't care about the money; we just want to get out of here! *Please, just let us go.*
- [Richie's corpse appears]
- Funhouse: Oh, my, my! That IS a gruesome sight.
- [Buzz attacks the Funhous Barker for his gun, which goes off and kills the Barker; then the Monster appears and attacks Buzz for the gun, which goes off again and kills Buzz]
- Funhouse: ...Who will dare to face the challenge of the Funhouse? Who is mad enough to enter that world of darkness? How about you, sir...?
- Madame Zena: [after ejecting Amy, Buzz, Richie, and Liz] Don't come back, or I'll break every bone in your fuckin' bodies. Beat it!
- Richie Atterbury: When I was a kid, I once tried to spook my older brother by hiding in his closet. While I was waiting in there to jump out and scare him, a weird thought came into my head. What if he knew I was in there, and he was standing just outside the closet door, waiting to jump out and scare me?
- Liz Duncan: So, what happened?
- Buzz Klemmet: He locked you in, didn't he?
- Richie Atterbury: I waited for three hours till my parents came home and got me out. I was too scared to touch the doorknob. I... I wet my pants.
- Funhouse: [discovers that the Monster -- who also turns out to be his son Gunther -- has killed Madame Zena after paying her for sex... because she wouldn't give him a refund] You paid Madame Zena a hundred dollars for this? You crazy fool; I could have gotten you one of them showgirls for twenty...! Well, you never were much for knowing the value of cash, were you?
- Amy Harper: Listen, how would you like to go to the movies instead of the carnival?
- Buzz Klemmet: The movies? What for?
- Amy Harper: It's the same carnival that went through Fairfield County, where they had all that trouble.
- Buzz Klemmet: Terrific. Maybe we'll get a little action. Come on. You're not afraid to go, are you?
- Amy Harper: No, I just don't feel like it. Besides, I promised my father we were going to the movies.
- Buzz Klemmet: Forget about your old man. He's trying to bum your evening.
- Amy Harper: How can you say that? You don't even know my father.
- Buzz Klemmet: Hey, loosen up, will ya?
- Funhouse: [patching things up with Gunther, his Monstrous son] It ain't like I'm having you do something we never needed to do before... Now come on, boy; I didn't mean all that stuff I said back there. You know how it is with me. Sometimes I just get to drinking, that's all, and I forget to be careful with you... Our business with those two little half-pint Girl Scouts; I know, that was the worst of them all. But that's your brother Victor on display in the freak show, remember? And when they lynched your mama... that was horrible too, wasn't it? I don't want that for you, boy. Hear what I'm saying? *I just don't want that for you.* The two of us need each other, right? Who else do we have? So you just do this for me -- one necessary evil -- and we'll dump them where nobody will think to look; then I'll take you fishing, or whatever you want, just like I used to. How about that...? And son -- as the Good Lord is my witness, *I don't hate the sound of your voice.*