Nice Dreams (1981)

Tommy Chong: Chong

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Quotes 

• Chong : Hey, how much money do we have now?

  Cheech : All together?

  Chong : Yeah, all together?

  Cheech : Let's see, mmm, uh, oh man! We have 17 million dollars!

  Chong : Really?

  Cheech : Oh wait, well um, 17, something. Who cares, were rich, man.

• Cheech : Man, I can't believe you. Every time you do coke this shit happens.

  Chong : Hey, wait a minute man, how come every time I do coke you say that 'every time you do coke' thing?

• Howie Hamburger Dude : How about the future of rock 'n' roll, anyway? Huh? The future of rock 'n' roll?

  Chong : Yeah.

  Howie Hamburger Dude : Bruce Springsteen

  Chong : Yeah.

  Howie Hamburger Dude : Is fucking it all up.

  Chong : Yeah. Hey, can we have a check?

  Howie Hamburger Dude : Hey, hey, hey. Shh, shh, shh. Bruce Springsteen's fucking the whole thing up.

  Chong : Bruce Springsteen?

  Howie Hamburger Dude : New Wave.

  Chong : New Wave?

  Howie Hamburger Dude : New Wave!

• Chong : You know what I think we should invest in, man?

  Cheech : What?

  Chong : A rest home for old hippies.

  Cheech : Yeah?

  Chong : Cause, man, you know, like, hippies have been around since the 60's man.

  Cheech : Yeah.

  Chong : You know, and there really isn't like a hip place for 'em to go when they get real old, you know.

  Cheech : Yeah.

  Chong : You know, how I see it, you know, it's like a regular rest home except you have all the dope you can smoke, you know, for these old people . they'd want and listen to all the music they want, you know.

  Cheech : Like we could call it: Laid Back Manor.

  Chong : Yeah! Hey, great. Yeah.

  Cheech : That'd be heavy.

  Chong : Because, you know, I mean, like, what do people do when they get old? You know, they usually keep them stoned, laid-back.

• Chong : Hey, listen, there's a lot of smart dudes who do coke, man.

  Cheech : Yeah? Like who?

  Chong : Like, Sherlock Holmes does coke. And he isn't so stupid.

  Cheech : Sherlock Holmes?

• Chong : Will you sell me some of that stuff, man?

  Howie Hamburger Dude : I sell sea shells.

• Chong : You know what I wanna do when I die, man?

  Cheech : What?

  Chong : I'm gonna get cremated, man.

  Cheech : Yeah?

  Chong : Yeah. Then I wanna get my ashes put in a baggie, you know.

  Cheech : Yeah?

  Chong : Then I'm gonna have all my friends - we'll have a party and then everybody will smoke me. Mix it with some good shit, you know.

  Cheech : Remind me not to be one of your friends when you die.

• Chong : Hey, man, that dude looked kinda straight to be buying dope.

  Cheech : Hey, man, don't worry about it. I checked him out myself, man. He ain't a cop. I can smell cops a mile away, man. They smell like coffee and doughnuts.

• Chong : Hey, man, where's the broads that own that car out there?

• Cheech : We're rich. Hey, let's buy a villa in Costa Rica. That'd be great. We could just...

  Chong : I'm gonna get some more guitars.

  Cheech : Yeah?

  Chong : Yeah, I wanna get a Fender. No, I don't like Fenders, man. No, I'll get one anyway.

  Cheech : Let's get one of those big, white houses, man. You know, like, with a veranda, you know. With a porch. We'd be sitting out there sipping pina colonics, man.

  Chong : Pina colonics?

  Cheech : Yeah.

  Chong : What's that?

  Cheech : You know, they make them in a blender, man. You know.

  Chong : Oh, yeah.

  Cheech : Yeah. We'd have topless ladies, man. Maybe we'll make ourselves sun kings. You know, buy a little island. We'll put two little chairs on a little hill, and every day at noon we'll go up there and all the natives will bow down to us and we'll throw them joints, you know. I like to help the little people, man. Like, that's important in life.

• Cheech : Hey, Ray, we need some more wine, too, man.

  Ray : Yeah, okay, what kind do you want this time?

  Cheech : Oh, put some of this fussy pussy.

  Ray : Oh, man. Come on.

  Cheech : Oh, that's nice. That smells good.

  Chong : Fussy pussy?

  Cheech : Yeah. It's French, man.

• Donna the Panties Gal : Listen, you're gonna think I'm weird, but, I never made it with two guys before.

  Cheech : What?

  Donna the Panties Gal : You wanna make it with me?

  Cheech : Two guys at the same time?

  Donna the Panties Gal : Yeah. I've done everything twice, but I've never made it with two guys. Especially you two guys!

  Cheech : Well, we do that all the time.

  Donna the Panties Gal : You do?

  Cheech : Oh, yeah, yeah. Ain't that right, man?

  Donna the Panties Gal : With two guys?

  Cheech , Chong : Oh, no, no, no.

  Cheech : With, like, a girl at the same time.

• Cheech : Those are the ugliest chicks I ever saw in my life.

  Chong : No kidding, man. But if they're so ugly, how come you were hitting on them?

  Cheech : I wasn't hitting on them, man.

  Chong : Well, that part about asking them if they were models, man.

  Cheech : I was trying to be nice, man.

  Chong : Models for Kal-Can dog food.