Stir Crazy (1980)

Charles Weldon: Blade

Photos 

Quotes 

• Harry Monroe : I'm a clown, see? I shoot the firecrackers and the soda water. There's a little car that pulls up and there's supposed to be like 10 midgets in it. They all get out...

  Blade : That ain't no rodeo clown! A rodeo clown is the most *dangerous* job in the world! He's the one that gets *closest* to the bull. He gets the *best* of the bull! *Hook* to the left! *Hook* to the side! If the bull rider is in *danger*, he's gotta protect him! Even if it means gettin' his *ribs* pulled out and bein' freight-trained.

  Harry Monroe : Freight-trained!

  Blade : That's right. Run over, just like a freight train, only with a *bull*, it's worse! Cause a freight train don't back up and finish the job. Later on I'll show you the proper way to lie on the stretcher when they come to pick you up.

• Blade : Now, let me explain to you about bulls, okay? A bull is the most evil, disgusting, and crafty sucka in the world. He'll snot on you, fart on you, do anything he can, to mash out your brain. The worst kind of bull, is the one that won't do nothin'. Just stand there. Look at you! That means he's studyin' you. Soakin' up your weak spots and rememberin' 'em for the time he gets to prance on your head.

• Blade : Now every bull has a secret word that makes him crazy and sends him into his craziest ride,. Your job is to figure out that word.

  Harry Monroe : Bull... uh... let's see. Uh... Rumplestiltskin. Uh... malt liquor... come on, bull.

  [whistles and makes kissing noises] 

  Harry Monroe : Come on, bull. Uh... woof, woof! Uh...

  [makes clicking sound with tongue] 

  Harry Monroe : ... hey, sexy... hee-hee... shit!

  [Bull bellows and charges at Harry] 

  Harry Monroe : [Running away from bull]  Oh, you motherfucker!

  Blade : Congratulations, you found the word!

• Blade : What you doin' joinin' the rodeo? A city dude like you, suckin' up to the Warden!

  Skip Donahue : He's not sucking up to the Warden. He's just having a little fun. We showed some aptitude for this, that's all.

  Blade : Aptitude? You hear that?

  Rory : Why don't you lay off him Blade. The man's just doin' what he gotta do! They were going to cut the dude's nuts off! Ain't that right, Harry?

  Harry Monroe : I don't want to discuss my nuts.