Herbie Goes Bananas (1980)

Fritz Feld: Chief Steward

Quotes 

• Captain Blythe : Now, how did you want to handle that?

  D.J. : You mean pay for it?

  Captain Blythe : Or did you plan to, uh, reassemble the stemware yourself?

  Pete : It's not our responsiblity.

  Captain Blythe : I'm your captain, judge, and jury. I'll decide what's your responsiblity!

  Chief Steward : Captain.

  Captain Blythe : Hmm. The, uh, the cargo manifest states unequivocally that you, Peter Stancheck, are the sole owner of the car. You are the consignor and the consignee. Your car did the damage, ergo...

  D.J. : Yeah, but Peter wasn't driving...

  Captain Blythe : Start! I, uh, I have been advised by our public relations department to waive all charges of kidnapping. And smuggling illegal aliens into a foreign country.

  Pete : Where's that kid, anyway?

  Captain Blythe : In the storeroom, where he'll remain until the ship reaches Panama, at which time he will be turned over to the port authorities and returned to his native country. In the meantime, your automobile will be impounded until your obligations are met.

  Chief Steward : Captain.

  Captain Blythe : Uh, gentlemen. I do hope you've been enjoying the cruise so far. Remember, we have a shuffleboard tournament on main deck at four bells... And, uh, disco lessons in the lounge at six bells.

  Pete : Thanks, anyway.

• Aunt Louise : But, Captain, how can a car release a boy with a key? Explain that.

  Captain Blythe : I can't explain that any more than I can explain the Bermuda Triangle, madam. Nor do I intend to try.

  Aunt Louise : Captain, I am the sponsor of that little car. It's going to win the Brazil Grand Primeo.

  Captain Blythe : If you can bring that off, madam, I will not only part the Red Sea, I will tint it magenta.

  Aunt Louise : Oh, but, Captain. I appeal to you as a woman, a desperate, helpless, single woman.

  [Knows Captain's feelings] 

  Aunt Louise : Spare that car.

  Captain Blythe : Lorelei and all her sirens could not make me veer one degree! My course is set!

  Aunt Louise : Oh!

  Captain Blythe : Ship's company! Stand to, to witness punishment!

  Chief Steward : Sir, some of the passengers might not understand.

  Captain Blythe : I am simply abiding by the traditions of the sea, Chief Steward.

  [Chief Steward salutes the Captain of the Ship] 

  Captain Blythe : By the powers vested in me as the Captain of this ship, I hereby deem this vehicle a menace to life and limb and the very safety of the vessel itself. I herewith commit it to the sea, and a fate well-deserved. Doff hats! Seamen... Do your duty.