The In-Laws (1979)

Alan Arkin: Dr. Sheldon Kornpett

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sheldon : You were involved in the Bay of Pigs?

  Vince Ricardo : Involved? That was my idea.

• Sheldon : I have flames on my car. I HAVE FLAMES ON MY CAR!

• [after a harrowing cab ride] 

  Sheldon : Did we hit the little boy on Sixth Avenue?

  Vince Ricardo : No, we missed him by a good foot and a half.

• Sheldon : There's no reason to shoot at me, I'm a dentist.

• Vince Ricardo : I was in the jungle--the bush we called it--for approximately nine months...

  Sheldon : Nine months! That must have really been something!

  Vince Ricardo : It was. I saw things... They have tsetse flies down there the size of eagles.

• Sheldon : I've only had four women in my life. Two of them, my wife!

• Sheldon : Please, God, don't let me die on West 31st Street!

• Vince Ricardo : What do you think will happen when they run off this dough... and there's trillions of extra dollars, francs, and marks floating around? You've got a collapse of confidence in the currency. People are gonna panic. There's gonna be gold riots, atonal music... political chaos, mass suicide. Right? It's Germany before Hitler. You can see that. Jesus, I don't know what people are gonna do... when a six-pack of Budweisers costs $1,200.

  Sheldon : That'll be awful.

• Sheldon : Is he dead?

  Vince Ricardo : If he's alive, he's putting on a hell of an act, ain't he?

• Sheldon : Six thousand a year tuition to listen to this.

• Sheldon : [Reading inscription on picture of President Kennedy in Vince's office]  To Vince, Well at least we tried--Thanks for everything - John F. Kennedy.

• Vince Ricardo : Just go with the flow, Shel, just go with the flow.

  Sheldon : What flow? There isn't any flow.

• Sheldon : The ocean? It's over the ocean to Scranton, Pennsylvania?

• Vince Ricardo : It's cut and dried.

  Sheldon : It's not cut, and it's not dried.

• Sheldon : [eating]  This chicken is really sensational, you want to give out the recipe?

  General Garcia : Oh no, is old Tijado secret, the pollo must be marinated for six weeks.

  Sheldon : It's very good, you don't get this kind of stuff in New York.

  Vince Ricardo : when asked why he's not eating: My stomach is a little upset, I have to stay away from all marinated birds.