Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park (1978 TV Movie)

John Chappell: Snede

Quotes 

• Guard : He's the one, almost tore my arm off!

  Star Child : Highly improbable.

  Cat Man : Not our Demon.

  Space Ace : Hi, Curly!

  Sneed : Cut the clowning - if you'd rather deal with the police?

  The Demon : [Growls] 

• Star Child : You're looking for someone, but it's not KISS.

  Melissa : Yes. My fiance, Sam. He was taking pictures of you.

  Sneed : There are dozens of photographers out there. How could anyone ever...?

  Star Child : [Paul raises his hand to cut Sneed off]  He was here.

  Sneed : This is ridiculous.

  The Demon : [Growls] 

  Star Child : Sam's still in the park.

• Sneed : They're avoiding us.

  Calvin Richards : With a look like that, your mother would avoid you.

  Guard , Guard : [laughs] 

  Sneed : There are plenty of openings on the graveyard shift.

  Guard : Maybe they're taking a swim.

  Sneed : Rock 'n' rollers don't bathe.

• Star Child : Gene's clean.

  Cat Man : A pussycat, almost.

  Space Ace : Ack!

  Sneed : This isn't funny!

• Sneed : This could get out of hand real easy, Mr. Richards. We don't want a riot on our hands.

  Calvin Richards : A riot? Ha, don't be ridiculous. High spirited kids, that's all I see. They're just reflecting the spirit of the park, that's all. We've got the rides, the attractions and we've got KISS.

• Sneed : We've got close to 2,000 employees here, miss. What with turnover and part time...

  Melissa : But you must know him, he works for someone named "Abner."

  Guard : Oh, Abner Devereaux.

  Sneed : Maybe so, but every time I see Abner, he's got someone new working for him.

  Melissa : This Abner Devereaux, where can I find him?

  Sneed : His workshop's located under the Sky Tower.

  Melissa : You mean underground?

  Guard : Yeah. *Way* underground.