The Van (1977)

Stuart Goetz: Bobby

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bobby : [recalling how a nude take-out waitress with very large buttocks forced herself on him]  Yeah, what a piece of ass.

  Jack : Yeah? How did she feel?

  Bobby : Well, let's just say she was, ah... big. All over.

  Jack : Yeah, sure.

  Bobby : Really man, I never knew love making could be so, ahem... physical.

• Bobby : There ain't a woman around who don't love the sound of a zipper comin' down...

  [he barely finishes the line when the nude take-out waitress throws him on the waterbed and forces herself on him by mounting him with her very large buttocks] 

• Bobby : [after a take-out waitress praises his van]  Hey, you wanna go share a joint on the waterbed?

  Take-out waitress : Waterbed? Really? I just love waterbeds.

  Bobby : It's right there in the back.

  Take-out waitress : I really don't have time for a joint. But I got some time for a...

  [signaling a humping motion] 

  Take-out waitress : quickie.

  Bobby : Ah... yeah... sure.

  [the take-out waitress steps out from behind the counter, making Bobby gasp upon noticing her very large buttocks on her otherwise thin body] 

• Dugan Hicks : Well, what are you, chickening out, or we gotta match?

  Bobby : Yeah, I gotta match... your face and my ass.