The Last Detail (1973)

Randy Quaid: Meadows

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Quotes 

• Buddusky : If this guy gets pussy out of this, I'm gonna eat my fucking flat hat, man.

  Mulhall : Yeah and I'm going to start chanting too.

  Meadows : [returns to table with Mulhall and Buddusky]  Hey, you guys? Drop your socks and grab your cocks. We're going to a party.

• Bartender : You try it and I'll call the shore patrol.

  Buddusky : I am the motherfucking shore patrol, motherfucker! I am the motherfucking shore patrol! Give this man a beer.

  Meadows : I don't want a beer.

  Buddusky : You're gonna have a fuckin' beer!

• Meadows : [looking at porn]  Are they really doing that when they take that picture?

  Buddusky : [pause]  Well kid, there's more things in this life than you can possibly imagine. I knew a whore once in Wilmington. She had a glass eye... used to take it out and wink people off for a dollar.

• [Meadows has just prematurely ejaculated] 

  Buddusky : You wanna try it again, kid?

  Meadows : Yeah.

  Buddusky : [to prostitute]  Okay, honey.

  Mulhall : Don't worry about it, kid... plenty more where that came from.

  Buddusky : We got all night, kid.

• Meadows : If you're Catholic, do you think it's, uh, sacrilegious to chant?

  Buddusky : Did it get you laid?

  Meadows : No.

  Buddusky : Then Meadows, what the fuck do you want to go on chanting for?

  Mulhall : Chant your ass off, kid. But any pussy you get in this world, you gonna have to pay for, one way or another.

  Buddusky : Hallelujah!

• Mulhall : We'd better catch that train.

  Buddusky : We still got time for a beer.

  Mulhall : Now wait a minute, man...

  Meadows : I ain't old enough.

  Buddusky : Ain't old enough for what?

  Meadows : For a beer.

  Buddusky : Everybody's old enough for a beer. Ain't that right, Mule?

  Mulhall : Yeah.

• Nichiren Shoshu Leader : Welcome to a Nichiren Shoshu discussion meeting! Tonight throughout the city there are actually - there are hundreds of meetings like this going on, where people are learning about Nam-myoho-renge-kyo and Gohonzon!

  Meadows : [to Buddusky]  What's a "gohonzon"?

  Buddusky : Shhh. I'll tell ya 'bout it later.

• Meadows : Hey, you guys mind if I say somethin'? That guy at the bar, why did you get so mad at him? I don't blame him not givin' me a beer.

  Buddusky : Hey, don't you never get mad at nobody?

  Meadows : Well, sure I do, yeah.

  Mulhall : Who do you get mad at?

  Meadows : Not at somebody who's doing their job.

  Buddusky : Who, then?

  Meadows : Injustice.

  Buddusky : Bullshit! You never get mad at nobody. You're just a pussy!

  Meadows : I do too get mad.

  Mulhall : Did you ever get mad at the old man for what he done to you?

  Meadows : Well, he was just...

  Buddusky : ...doin' his job. Hey, they're gonna take eight years outta your life, man.

  Meadows : Six years. You said six!

  Buddusky : Hey, what the fuck difference does it make? You don't even care about it.

  Mulhall : Come on, Badass, that don't help him.

  Buddusky : Fuck help, fuck fair! Fuck injustice! Don't you ever just wanna fuckin' whomp and stomp on someone, bite off their ear, just to do it...? I mean just to do it, just to get it out of your system?

• Meadows : I do remember something I got mad at. Something when I was in the brig, a Marine did.

  Buddusky : What happened? Grunts beat you up?

  Meadows : Yeah... but that didn't get me mad.

  Buddusky : Well, goddamn it, what *did* get you mad?

  Meadows : This Marine guard... he asked me if I believed in Jesus Christ. And I said, "Yeah." And he said that from now on, *he* was Jesus Christ, and I shouldn't ever forget it.

  Buddusky : What did you do? Did you hit him?

  Meadows : Now can you imagine that? That's awful!

  Buddusky : Did you cold-cock him?

  Meadows : He better hope the Chaplain don't catch him at that.

  Mulhall : Shit... most of the Navy Chaplains I know, they want to stand up on the bridge with the old man and look through aviator sunglasses.

  Meadows : Mule... it takes a lot of dedication to be a Chaplain in the Navy.

  Mulhall : It don't take diddly-shit, man!

• Buddusky : [Scoffing, after they've left the Nichiren Shoshu discussion meeting]  Jesus, huh? What a bunch of candy-asses.

  Mulhall : Ever hear such happy horseshit?

  Buddusky : That one guy was a big homo, heh?

  Meadows : Yeah, but you guys, he sure was a *happy* homo.

• Meadows : [with a mouthful of peanuts]  I had 'em with me!

• Meadows : After... after... well maybe it was an act for her. I mean I know she was a whore. But I think she liked me.

  Buddusky : They got feelings just like everybody else, kid; she probably did.

  Meadows : Well, it was real for me. That's what counts.

• Mulhall : [They're in a bar; Buddusky is competing in a darts game for money]  You gotta' help me get Buddusky outta' here. He's bettin' with our travel money.

  Meadows : [looks up at the scoreboard]  He's losing, too.

  Mulhall : Yeah!

  Buddusky : [Buddusky comes back over to their table]  Now, don't worry about a thing. I'm hustling this guy, understand? I got him right where I want him.

  Meadows : Well, maybe he's hustling *you*?

  Buddusky : Yeah, maybe he is, but, uh, this is not the time to argue about it, because if I don't win, we don't leave New York, huh? Ha ha ha...

  Mulhall : [looks exasperated, shaking his head]  Fourteen years... fourteen motherfucking years.

• Mulhall : Chant for something really big.

  Meadows : Well, okay.

  Buddusky : Yeah, like how's about the three of us get laid, huh?

  Meadows : Well, should you chant for something like that?

  Buddusky : Why the fuck not?

• Donna : Why don't you get away?

  Meadows : Get away?

  Donna : To Canada. I've got this friend, George Lucido! He Shakabukued me!

• Mulhall : We could go see a movie or two.

  Buddusky : We can get us a couple of six-packs. Huh?

  Mulhall : Shit, man, we can even go back to the cathouse if you want to.

  Meadows : No. I already did everything one time. That makes that one time stick out. You know - what I mean?

• Mulhall : [They look confusedly at a big pile of shoes and boots inside the foyer of the Nichiren Shoshu discussion meeting]  Well, what are we gonna' do?

  Meadows : Take off your shoes.

  Buddusky : [grins at Mulhall]  Must be one of them Jap joints where we gotta' take off all our shoes. Know what I mean?

• Buddusky : Is your word worth anything?

  Meadows : Sure it is. As good as the next guy's.

  Mulhall : The next guy's a prick!

• Buddusky : Cheese melted enough for you?

  Meadows : Sure.

  Buddusky : It ain't melted at all. Send it back!

  Meadows : It's alright.

  Buddusky : Send the goddamn thing back, Meadows. You're paying for it.

  Meadows : But, it's all right.

  Buddusky : Meadows, have it the way you want it. Waiter! Melt cheese on this for the chief, would you? Thank you. See, Meadows? It's just as easy to have it the way you want it.

• Meadows : How was...

  Young Whore : How was what, honey? Well, you got off to a shaky start. After that, you took to it like a duck to water.