The Last Detail (1973)

Jack Nicholson: Buddusky

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Quotes 

• Buddusky : If this guy gets pussy out of this, I'm gonna eat my fucking flat hat, man.

  Mulhall : Yeah and I'm going to start chanting too.

  Meadows : [returns to table with Mulhall and Buddusky]  Hey, you guys? Drop your socks and grab your cocks. We're going to a party.

• Bartender : You try it and I'll call the shore patrol.

  Buddusky : I am the motherfucking shore patrol, motherfucker! I am the motherfucking shore patrol! Give this man a beer.

  Meadows : I don't want a beer.

  Buddusky : You're gonna have a fuckin' beer!

• Buddusky : He don't stand a chance in Portsmouth, you know. You know that, don't you? Goddamn grunts, kickin' the shit outta him for eight years... he don't stand a chance.

  Mulhall : I don't want to hear about it.

  Buddusky : 'Maggot' this, 'maggot' that... Marines are really assholes, you know that? It takes a certain kind of a sadistic temperament to be a Marine.

• Meadows : [looking at porn]  Are they really doing that when they take that picture?

  Buddusky : [pause]  Well kid, there's more things in this life than you can possibly imagine. I knew a whore once in Wilmington. She had a glass eye... used to take it out and wink people off for a dollar.

• [Meadows has just prematurely ejaculated] 

  Buddusky : You wanna try it again, kid?

  Meadows : Yeah.

  Buddusky : [to prostitute]  Okay, honey.

  Mulhall : Don't worry about it, kid... plenty more where that came from.

  Buddusky : We got all night, kid.

• Buddusky : One time... when I was... Oh Jesus Christ...! A friend of mine was looking for me... and I was up on top of his car and I pissed on his head... just being crazy, you know what I mean?

  Mulhall : Don't you get crazy with me!

• Buddusky : Could ya melt the cheese on there for the Chief?

• Meadows : If you're Catholic, do you think it's, uh, sacrilegious to chant?

  Buddusky : Did it get you laid?

  Meadows : No.

  Buddusky : Then Meadows, what the fuck do you want to go on chanting for?

  Mulhall : Chant your ass off, kid. But any pussy you get in this world, you gonna have to pay for, one way or another.

  Buddusky : Hallelujah!

• Mulhall : We'd better catch that train.

  Buddusky : We still got time for a beer.

  Mulhall : Now wait a minute, man...

  Meadows : I ain't old enough.

  Buddusky : Ain't old enough for what?

  Meadows : For a beer.

  Buddusky : Everybody's old enough for a beer. Ain't that right, Mule?

  Mulhall : Yeah.

• Marine O.D. : [in bathroom at bus station]  Sailor looks like he's lost something.

  Marine : Probably has trouble finding it with those thirteen buttons.

  Buddusky : If I was a Marine, I wouldn't have to fuck with no thirteen buttons. I'd just take my hat off.

• Buddusky : Heineken? Why it's the finest beer in the world! President Kennedy used to drink it!

• Buddusky : [listening to Nichiren Shoshu members singing a happy song] 

  Buddusky : Why does all of this make me feel so fucking bad?

• Buddusky : Boy, they really stuck it to ya, didn't they, kid! Stick it in and break it off. Up your giggy with a wah-wah brush, stick it in an' break it off.

• Buddusky : Welcome to the wonderful world of pussy, kid.

• Buddusky : [Buddusky's response to a woman's sarcastic remark about his navy uniform]  You know what I like most about this uniform? The way it makes your dick look.

• Mulhall : You ever been married?

  Buddusky : Not so you'd notice.

• Mulhall : I don't know what I woulda' done without the Navy.

  Buddusky : Yeah... I guess we're just a couple of lifers.

  Mulhall : Yeah.

• Buddusky : [after about a case of beer]  I would like to drink a toast to Batman... Shuperman... and the Human Torch. AH-HA-HA!

• Buddusky : He looks like a goddamn big penguin, don't he?

• Nichiren Shoshu Leader : Welcome to a Nichiren Shoshu discussion meeting! Tonight throughout the city there are actually - there are hundreds of meetings like this going on, where people are learning about Nam-myoho-renge-kyo and Gohonzon!

  Meadows : [to Buddusky]  What's a "gohonzon"?

  Buddusky : Shhh. I'll tell ya 'bout it later.

• Meadows : Hey, you guys mind if I say somethin'? That guy at the bar, why did you get so mad at him? I don't blame him not givin' me a beer.

  Buddusky : Hey, don't you never get mad at nobody?

  Meadows : Well, sure I do, yeah.

  Mulhall : Who do you get mad at?

  Meadows : Not at somebody who's doing their job.

  Buddusky : Who, then?

  Meadows : Injustice.

  Buddusky : Bullshit! You never get mad at nobody. You're just a pussy!

  Meadows : I do too get mad.

  Mulhall : Did you ever get mad at the old man for what he done to you?

  Meadows : Well, he was just...

  Buddusky : ...doin' his job. Hey, they're gonna take eight years outta your life, man.

  Meadows : Six years. You said six!

  Buddusky : Hey, what the fuck difference does it make? You don't even care about it.

  Mulhall : Come on, Badass, that don't help him.

  Buddusky : Fuck help, fuck fair! Fuck injustice! Don't you ever just wanna fuckin' whomp and stomp on someone, bite off their ear, just to do it...? I mean just to do it, just to get it out of your system?

• Mulhall : [At the very end, watching Meadows ice skate in an empty park]  He sure is havin' a good time.

  Buddusky : And you said he didn't have it in him!

• Mulhall : [Mulhall and Buddusky are making small talk, waiting for Meadows who is being serviced by a prostitute]  You ever been married?

  Buddusky : Not so you'd notice.

  Buddusky : [after a pause]  Yeah... once. A little girl in Torrance. You know where that is?

  Mulhall : Huh uh.

  Buddusky : It's near San Pedro on the way to Terminal Island, you know?

  Buddusky : Dottie Brown... She had great tits, and wore angora sweaters all the time. She wanted me to go to trade school and become a TV repair man. Driving around in all that smog and shit, fixing TVs out of the back of a VW bus.

  Buddusky : [looking depressed]  I just couldn't do it.

• Buddusky : Y'know, kid... you got a helluva knack for killin' a conversation.

• Meadows : I do remember something I got mad at. Something when I was in the brig, a Marine did.

  Buddusky : What happened? Grunts beat you up?

  Meadows : Yeah... but that didn't get me mad.

  Buddusky : Well, goddamn it, what *did* get you mad?

  Meadows : This Marine guard... he asked me if I believed in Jesus Christ. And I said, "Yeah." And he said that from now on, *he* was Jesus Christ, and I shouldn't ever forget it.

  Buddusky : What did you do? Did you hit him?

  Meadows : Now can you imagine that? That's awful!

  Buddusky : Did you cold-cock him?

  Meadows : He better hope the Chaplain don't catch him at that.

  Mulhall : Shit... most of the Navy Chaplains I know, they want to stand up on the bridge with the old man and look through aviator sunglasses.

  Meadows : Mule... it takes a lot of dedication to be a Chaplain in the Navy.

  Mulhall : It don't take diddly-shit, man!

• Buddusky : [Scoffing, after they've left the Nichiren Shoshu discussion meeting]  Jesus, huh? What a bunch of candy-asses.

  Mulhall : Ever hear such happy horseshit?

  Buddusky : That one guy was a big homo, heh?

  Meadows : Yeah, but you guys, he sure was a *happy* homo.

• Buddusky : They always used to have trouble with my name too. Buddusky. Always wanting to call me "Bad Ass." "Bad Ass." I am Bad Ass. Bad Ass!

• Young Whore : Look, those are the rules. Doesn't matter if it's 10 hours or 10 seconds.

  Buddusky : Okay, tootsie. We'll stake him to another shot.

• Buddusky : [to the taxi driver, as they all get into a cab]  How they treatin' you, partner?

  Taxi Driver : Fine, sailor. Where to?

  Buddusky : Oh, just down the road...

  Buddusky : [after a pause]  Well, hell, let me tell you what we really want. You look honest. I think I can trust you. We're, uh... we're in transit, the three of us, see? And, uh, well, we could really use the services of a decent whorehouse, know what I mean? One that don't hate G.I.s?

  Buddusky : [as the taxi driver remains silent]  Sizable tip in it for ya'...

  Taxi Driver : Save the tip. I get it at the other end.

  Buddusky : Hey, thanks a lot!

• Buddusky : Take it easy, Meadows, you're makin' Mulhouse hungry.

• Meadows : After... after... well maybe it was an act for her. I mean I know she was a whore. But I think she liked me.

  Buddusky : They got feelings just like everybody else, kid; she probably did.

  Meadows : Well, it was real for me. That's what counts.

• Mulhall : [They're in a bar; Buddusky is competing in a darts game for money]  You gotta' help me get Buddusky outta' here. He's bettin' with our travel money.

  Meadows : [looks up at the scoreboard]  He's losing, too.

  Mulhall : Yeah!

  Buddusky : [Buddusky comes back over to their table]  Now, don't worry about a thing. I'm hustling this guy, understand? I got him right where I want him.

  Meadows : Well, maybe he's hustling *you*?

  Buddusky : Yeah, maybe he is, but, uh, this is not the time to argue about it, because if I don't win, we don't leave New York, huh? Ha ha ha...

  Mulhall : [looks exasperated, shaking his head]  Fourteen years... fourteen motherfucking years.

• Buddusky : Boy, it's colder than witch boob, ain't it?

• Buddusky : You ain't leaving D. C. till you got a belly full of beer! Come on, kid! Jesus Christ! Did you see that cracker asshole?

• Mulhall : Chant for something really big.

  Meadows : Well, okay.

  Buddusky : Yeah, like how's about the three of us get laid, huh?

  Meadows : Well, should you chant for something like that?

  Buddusky : Why the fuck not?

• Buddusky : I'm telling you, Mule, we got it made. All we got to do is get rid of that silly looking creep there and we got these three chicks all to ourselves.

  Mulhall : We have, huh?

  Buddusky : Yeah. Why not?

  Mulhall : Because those three chicks would rather fuck each other than come near us, that's why not.

• Mulhall : We could go see a movie or two.

  Buddusky : We can get us a couple of six-packs. Huh?

  Mulhall : Shit, man, we can even go back to the cathouse if you want to.

  Meadows : No. I already did everything one time. That makes that one time stick out. You know - what I mean?

• Mulhall : [They look confusedly at a big pile of shoes and boots inside the foyer of the Nichiren Shoshu discussion meeting]  Well, what are we gonna' do?

  Meadows : Take off your shoes.

  Buddusky : [grins at Mulhall]  Must be one of them Jap joints where we gotta' take off all our shoes. Know what I mean?

• Buddusky : They got to give us all that per diem, regardless. That's money for you, for me and for him. We run this little shitbird's ass all the way to the brig, save his per diem and ours, split it and spend it on the way home. You know what I mean?

  Mulhall : Well, let's shag ass!

  Buddusky : You're goddamn right!

• Mulhall : At least we got a long train ride. Man, I sure love trains!

  Buddusky : Yeah, it beats the shit out of sitting up in Shit City, don't it?

• Buddusky : Is your word worth anything?

  Meadows : Sure it is. As good as the next guy's.

  Mulhall : The next guy's a prick!

• Buddusky : Cheese melted enough for you?

  Meadows : Sure.

  Buddusky : It ain't melted at all. Send it back!

  Meadows : It's alright.

  Buddusky : Send the goddamn thing back, Meadows. You're paying for it.

  Meadows : But, it's all right.

  Buddusky : Meadows, have it the way you want it. Waiter! Melt cheese on this for the chief, would you? Thank you. See, Meadows? It's just as easy to have it the way you want it.

• Buddusky : [to Mulhall]  Goddamn, that was great. It was great, wasn't it? It was great. Admit it! Give me a little of this!

  [big smile] 

  Buddusky : Give me just because they call me Shine in here!

• Mulhall : Well, what do you think?

  Buddusky : I think we ought to get the kid laid.

  Mulhall : Laid?

  Buddusky : Ever heard of it?

• Buddusky : I'm giving this girl such a line of horseshit. It is unbelievable! She loves it. She loves it!