James Garner: Latigo
Photos
Quotes
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Latigo : This your office?
Doc Schultz : I doctor pack mules, too. If you got a pain in the ass, you come see Doc Schultz.
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Jug : You know, I may not have too much of a chance with Swifty Morgan. But suppose I down him?
Latigo : Well, suppose you don't? And the odds are a thousand to one you won't. Well, you'll just end up an unknown character under a wooden cross on Boot Hill.
Jug : Well, everybody winds up dead sooner or later.
Latigo : Well, the smart ones try to postpone it as long as possible.
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Jug : He called me "Swifty."
Latigo : Yeah, that's short and friendly for Swifty Morgan. That's who they think you are. And they're willin' to PAY to back up that mistaken idea.
Jug : [Shocked] I'm supposed to pretend I'm Swifty Morgan?... Good Bye!
Latigo : They're willin' to pay!
Jug : How much?
Latigo : Thousand dollars. We'll split it fifty-fifty. That means FOUR HUNDRED for you.
Jug : [Ponders for a second] Seems fair. But I think that...
Latigo : No, no you don't. That's part of the deal. I do the thinkin'. You stand around and look tough.
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Latigo : [Annoyed that Jug has just used up the 100 dollars he had given him earlier, including giving much of it to some woman] You gave her the money?
Jug : Seemed like the thing to do...
Latigo : But, you idiot! Don't you know that's the surest way to make an enemy out of a woman, givin' her money?
Jug : [Confused] It is?
Latigo : Oh, I learned that a long time ago.
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Taylor Barton : [Upon seeing Lat Smith and Jug] Young man, about that job I want you to do...
Latigo : [Annoyed] I told you not to bother me, mister.
Jug : [Eagerly] The man said something about a job!
Latigo : I don't like work. It tires me out.
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Latigo : A man's gotta' be numb on both ends to earn his livin' sittin' on a horse. I just don't like horses.
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Latigo : Well, there's one thing that don't change about women. That's the fact that... they're changeable.
Doc Schultz : Where'd you learn so much about women?
Latigo : I worked at it.
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Mrs. Perkins : [Having led Taylor Barton and his associates to Latigo Smith's room] They come sneakin' in here lookin' at the register tryin' to find the room number of Mr. Smith. I tried to tell 'em I got four Smiths.
Latigo : Well, thank you Mrs. Perkins, uh, we wouldn't wanna' keep you from your work.
Mrs. Perkins : I suppose the way they come sneakin' in here that you're another one of them gunfighters that these stupid jackass miners keep hirin' around here. I suppose they're gonna' hire you, so that you can shoot some mother's son and then some other mother's son can shoot you.
Taylor Barton : Martha, for the love of heaven, unhinge your jaw and depart!
Mrs. Perkins : You see now why I DEMAND my rent in advance every day? Harrumph... Another "Smith." Just more of 'em comin' all the time getting' themselves killed off...
[Mrs. Perkins departs, muttering to herself]
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Latigo : [Adressing both Jenny and Goldie in the saloon] Let's keep the record straight. I'm not your Lat. I'm neither one's Lat. I'm sorry if I caused you any grief. I'm sorry I took your money. Now, I'm gonna' tell you something. It's about love. Love don't work, unless both people give. You gotta' give till it hurts.
[One of them promptly smashes a chair over his head; huge bar brawl ensues, just like in Western movies]
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Latigo : Look, it's your Christian duty to tell me why you're going to blow me up.
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Doc Schultz : [Latigo has come to the doctor for medical consultation] What's your problem?
Latigo : Uh, Doc... Promise you won't tell anybody, huh?
Doc Schultz : On my hypocritic oath!
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Latigo : I don't like anything west of Riverside Drive.
Patience : Where's that?
Latigo : New York City.
Patience : On the Hudson River?
Latigo : Yeah, born and raised there.
Patience : Tell me about it!
Latigo : Tell you what about it?
Patience : ALL!
Latigo : Well let's see, they, they don't carry guns. And they got a cop on every street corner to keep people from shootin' one another.
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Jug : I may not have much of a chance with Swifty Morgan, but suppose I down him?
Latigo : Well, supposing you don't? And the odds are 1,000 to 1 that you won't. You'll just end up an unknown character under a wooden cross on Boot Hill.
Jug : Everybody winds up dead sooner or later.
Latigo : Well, us smart ones try to postpone it as long as possible!
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'Swifty' Morgan : You there in the saloon! This is Swifty Morgan. Come on out.
Latigo : [Appears in the street atop a jackass rigged with loads of dynamite] I already am.
'Swifty' Morgan : What the hell do you think you're doing?
Latigo : I'd aim high. You hit this dynamite, Like as not, you'll blow the whole town up. You along with it.
'Swifty' Morgan : You trying to make a fool out of me?
Latigo : No. I'm trying to kill you, Mr. Morgan.
'Swifty' Morgan : You can't gunfight a man sitting on your ass.
Latigo : As a matter of fact, it doesn't belong to me. Uh, belongs to Taylor Barton. I stole it.
'Swifty' Morgan : Like you stole my name.
Latigo : Sorry about that.
'Swifty' Morgan : Not as sorry as you're gonna' be. Swifty Morgan only hits what Swifty Morgan shoots at.
Latigo : I'm sorry about that, too.
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Latigo : Patience, there are some things a man just can't ride around... but then again, maybe he can.
