- Bernard Hedges: I just don't understand you, Price. I look upon the first day of term as one of the peaks of my career.
- Mr. Price: And you've got your graph upside down!
- [Bernard and Penny are dancing at the party]
- Bernard Hedges: I still can't understand why Mr Dunstable changed his mind so quickly!
- Penny Wheeler: Well, a little bird told me Potter found out he couldn't write.
- Bernard Hedges: It's almost as if he had an actual aversion to writing!
- [Bernard stops dancing as he realises what Penny has just said]
- Bernard Hedges: Ah!
- [Bernard has barged into the meeting about the school camp]
- Doris Ewell: The party will consist of thirty-five children.
- Bernard Hedges: Didn't you leave out the word *privileged*, Miss Ewell?
- Norman Potter: Aye aye, would you burst into the United Nations like that?
- Angela: [On being caught sneaking out of the hut] I was just going to see if Mr Hedges had his timetable for tomorrow.
- Doris Ewell: To bed, Miss Cutforth!
- Mrs. Dunstable: [Headmaster's office with Dennis' irate parents] Don't push him.
- Mr. Dunstable: I've only got one lung.
- Mrs. Dunstable: His left one.
- Norman Potter: And I've got shrapnel making its way to my heart.
- Mr. Cromwell: Well, I get conjunctivitis.
- Eric Duffy: All right, the experiment has worked with us, but we're just kids. I still maintain we can get more significant results with a mature, intelligent, adult.
- Dennis Dunstable: You mean, like one of the teachers?
- Eric Duffy: I said *intelligent*, Den!