Play It Again, Charlie Brown (1971 TV Short)

Danny Hjeim: Schroeder

Quotes 

• Schroeder : [Schroeder is playing a song while the dual-staff music notes are shown on the screen as he plays them; somewhere in the middle of him playing, Lucy's face appears between the staffs, yet he does not take notice for a little bit; when he does, he stops playing]  Don't tell me I've grown accustomed to *that* face.

• [last lines, Schroeder continues playing more Beethoven songs] 

  Lucy van Pelt : [sits by the piano]  How come you never send me flowers?

  Schroeder : Because I don't like you.

  Lucy van Pelt : The flowers wouldn't care. Beethoven never would've made it in Nashville.

  Schroeder : [stops playing, offended]  What did you say? What do you mean Beethoven wouldn't have made it in Nashville?

  Lucy van Pelt : Did he have the Nashville sound? Huh? Did he? Did he?

  [Schroeder leaves, feeling insulted] 

  Lucy van Pelt : [shouts]  He probably wouldn't have made it in New Orleans, *either*!

  [Lucy takes out her radio and happily listens to rock music on Schroeder's piano] 

• Schroeder : [after Lucy suddenly kisses him on the nose]  AAUGH! I've been kissed by a girl! AAUGH! I've been poisoned! Get some iodine, get some hot water!

  Lucy van Pelt : Look out, everybody! I'm gonna be crabby for the rest of the day!

• Lucy van Pelt : [Lucy arranges a jazz combo for Schroeder's PTA concert with Charlie Brown playing the guitar, Pig-Pen playing the drums, and Snoopy playing an upright bass]  Hey, Schroeder. Here's your combo for the concert.

  Schroeder : Combo? Who asked for a combo? Bleah!

  Lucy van Pelt : You've got to have some backup. Aren't they great?

  Schroeder : Thanks, Lucy, but I don't need any backup. Beethoven and I can handle it alone.

  Lucy van Pelt : But, Schroeder, I just found out; they won't allow Beethoven. You have to play rock.

  Schroeder : Rock? Me? Play rock?

  [Charlie Brown, Pig-Pen, and Snoopy are surprised] 

  Schroeder : If that's the way they feel, just tell them to forget it!

  Charlie Brown , Pig-Pen , Snoopy : Forget it? AAAAUGH!

• Lucy van Pelt : Schroeder, do piano players make a lot of money?

  Schroeder : Money? Who cares about money? This is art! This is great music I'm playing! And playing great music is an art! Do you hear me? An art!

  [banging on the piano] 

  Schroeder : Art, art, art, art, art!

  Lucy van Pelt : You fascinate me.

• Lucy van Pelt : I'll bet I know something you don't know.

  Schroeder : What's that?

  [Lucy leaves and comes back with a spray can. When she sprays, the first eight notes of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony are heard] 

  Lucy van Pelt : Beethoven now comes in spray cans!

• Lucy van Pelt : Do you know what love is?

  Schroeder : [quoting the dictionary]  "Love, a noun, to be fond of; a strong affection for or attachment or devotion to a person or persons."

  [resumes playing] 

  Lucy van Pelt : On paper, he is great.

• Lucy van Pelt : Where do you want the amplifier?

  Schroeder : Amplifier?

  Lucy van Pelt : Hey! Where do you plug in the piano?

  Schroeder : Blech!

  Lucy van Pelt : What kind of a piano is this? No plug for the amplifier or electricity?

  Schroeder : AAUGH!

• Lucy van Pelt : I'm the kind of person who is kind of hard to know, I guess. My personality doesn't lie right on the surface. The real me is deep. But I'm well worth all the time it takes to understand me. In other words, to know me is to love me.

  Schroeder : AAUGH! I can't stand it!

  [leaves] 

  Lucy van Pelt : [sighs] 

• [Lucy walks in on Schroeder playing Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata with a feather-duster] 

  Lucy van Pelt : Hi, sweetie.

  Schroeder : Sweetie?

  Lucy van Pelt : [shows Schroeder the feather-duster]  Look what I have. If we were married, Schroeder, I'd come in every morning with my feather-duster and I'd dust the top of your piano, then I'd dust the keys, and then, just before I'd leave the room, I'd lean over with my feather-duster, and with a coy look on my face, I'd sort of go...

  [tickles Schroeder's nose with the feather-duster] 

  Lucy van Pelt : "Kitchy kitchy kitchy!"

  [Schroeder angrily glares at Lucy and resumes playing] 

  Lucy van Pelt : Well, of course, we could always leave out the "kitchy-kitchy-kitchies".

  [sighs] 

• Lucy van Pelt : You don't like me, do you, Schroeder?

  Schroeder : No. I never have liked you. And I doubt very much if I ever will like you.

  Lucy van Pelt : But we won't let that stand in the way of our eventual marriage, will we?

  Schroeder : I can't comprehend what you're saying.

  Lucy van Pelt : Well, what I mean is when you and I get married, we'll...

  Schroeder : No. I can't comprehend that. I can't conceive of that ever happening.

  Lucy van Pelt : [clears throat, nervously]  You know, Schroeder... if you ever wanted to... lean over, and kiss me... I wouldn't mind...

  Schroeder : Good grief.

  [leaves] 

  Lucy van Pelt : I mean... if you really wanted to...

  [Snoopy walks up behind the piano] 

  Lucy van Pelt : I mean... after all... there's nothing wrong with a little kiss between friends.

  [Snoopy kisses Lucy on the ear] 

  Lucy van Pelt : On the ear... Why, how quaint... How like a musician...

  [Lucy turns around and sees Snoopy, who kisses her on the nose] 

  Lucy van Pelt : AAUGH! AAUGH!

  [Lucy leaves and Snoopy grumbles] 

• Schroeder : [upon seeing Snoopy float along with his music]  You never know how Beethoven is going to affect someone.