[
Sid and Beattie Plummer are discussing the mating habits of budgerigars]
Beattie:
Well, we know Joey's a he-bird...
Sid:
Cock.
Beattie:
He is! The man in the pet shop said so!
[
W.C. Boggs on fortune tellers... ]
W.C.:
Fakes, that's all they are, sitting there staring in their crystal whatsitsnames.
Sid:
Balls.
W.C.:
I quite agree!
[
waving a dinner knife]
Agatha Spanner:
This is a respectable and refined neighbourhood AND DON'T YOU BLOODY FORGET IT.
Vic Spanner:
How can I, when you keep reminding me of it so nicely.
[
disguised as a fortune teller Sid is prognosticating on W. C. Boggs and Miss Withering's future]
Sid:
I see a marriage and one, two, three... fourteen children!
[
Vic walks out on his job at Boggs and is leaving the forecourt]
Girl:
Excuse me but they sent me from the exchange. I'm the new canteen girl. Can you tell me where I go?
Vic Spanner:
Oh Yes. I was just going in myself, I'll show you where it is. Yes, we've got a lovely pair of canteens here and a nice load of people.
Bunny Waitress:
[
Bunny Waitress leaning over Lewis] Yes?
Lewis Boggs:
[
Trying to order more drinks] I'd like another couple of those please.
[
Myrtle is not impressed]
Lewis Boggs:
I mean, these, please.
Myrtle Plummer:
If I was you I would have stuck to your first request!
Chloe Moore:
Fred do you really think I would I'd want to play around with anyone else about when I got a smashing bloke like you to play around with?
Fred Moore:
I know women, when there's no prime beef handy they'll do with any old scrag end.
Chloe Moore:
Well then you want to make sure there's plenty of prime beef when they need it, don't you?
Agatha Spanner:
[
in reference to the Motorbike revving noise] Stop that row and get that thing out of here! Go on you great big lump!
Mrs. Spragg:
Quite right Mrs Spanner it's a disgrace it is!
Agatha Spanner:
You mind your own bloody business.
[
Miss Withering tests out Mr Boggs' new toilet seat]
W.C.:
Well Miss Withering, how does it feel, comfortable?
Hortence Withering:
Yes I think so Mr Boggs.
W.C.:
Good, good. Comfort before beauty, that's what I always say.
Sid:
It a bit big in the bowl, ain't it?
Charles Coote:
It is only 2 centrementres more than our last model and I'm sure we shan't fall out over that.
Sid:
Its falling in I'm worried about!
W.C.:
No, no! I live your overall design Mr Coote.
Charles Coote:
Oh thank you Sir.
Hortence Withering:
May I get off now please?
W.C.:
Yes of course Mrs Withering, and thank you you have been most patient.
Sid:
Yes like Jove on a monument, and what a monument!
W.C.:
Yes, we must make sure that the catch is strong enough to support the seat.
Sid:
Do you mind if I try it?
W.C.:
No, go ahead.
[
Sid gets out his paper and starts moving around from side to side on the new toilet]
Sid:
Yes I don't think I could stand it for more than half an hour.
Charles Coote:
It was hardly designed for a reading room!
Sid:
Ere... Look at this very slender this pedestle... Isn't it?
Charles Coote:
It's streamlined!
Sid:
What for, wind resistance?
Charles Coote:
In any case the thickness has nothing to do whatsoever with the tensile strength.
W.C.:
I hope your right Mr Coote. I have had bitter experience of what happens when one of these collapses, or rather my poor wife had, God rest her soul.
Sid:
How about some food?
Beattie:
Well I could make you some beans on toast or something?
Sid:
No, nothing too elaborate, thank you.
Chloe Moore:
Old tinder bottom's off again, 'nother bloomin' strike I suppose.
Maud:
Oh no, what's it for?
Chloe Moore:
You know our Vic, he never has known what it's for!
Vic Spanner:
[
there is anger at the loss of the tea round] It's another a little prod at the very vitals of your personal freedom.
Chloe Moore:
I never noticed anyone prodding at my vitals!
Ernie:
Good for you, Chloe.
Willie:
Any time for you, Chloe!
Lewis Boggs:
You may not understand exactly what it means, but since I have been working in this factory I have been making a time and motion study.
Chloe Moore:
Oh I know what it means Mr Lewis and if you've got the time I've certainly got the motion.
Lewis Boggs:
Don't think I haven't noticed it Mrs Moore, especially in your main production department.
Chloe Moore:
Oh you cheeky devil.
Chloe Moore:
Come on Fred, I'll get you something to eat.
Fred Moore:
I could do with a bit.
Sid:
Spoken like a true man!
Chloe Moore:
Oh, hello Fred, Sid just give me a lift home.
Fred Moore:
I hope that's all he gave you!
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