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28 out of 30 people found the following review useful:
Educational! Fun!, 24 December 2002
Author: kynoceph from New Orleans, LA

Things I learned from this movie:

1) Dirt never sticks to cavewomen, but it does stick to cavemen. Cavemen are, in fact, so dirty that it makes you wonder why cavewomen ever consented to be with them.

2) Cavewomen, by the way, are hot!

3) Giant Crabs will eat you if they have the chance.

4) Always be nice to dinosaurs if you can, they will become your friends and save you from a horrible fate.

5) Bondage is as old as man.

6) Bikinis are as old as man. (See also "One Million Years BC" for further details.) Also, they stay on under amazing situations, although only barely.

7) The words "Agoba" and particularly "AKEETA," were important linguistic developments in the history of speech.

8) In the time it takes a tidal wave to reach the shore, you have time to make a boat and fight over it with your arch-rival.

9) Never, never stand in front of a tidal wave, waving your arms about and trying to turn it back by magic. This will not work.

10) Cavewomen are HOT! Wait, did I say that already? OK, number 10 is: AKEETA!

In short, a priceless movie. Meaning that you should pay as little as possible to see it, but you should see it.

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10 out of 10 people found the following review useful:
Second only to "One Million Years BC", 17 December 2005
Author: akersbp from post-apocalyptic wasteland

For starters, I'd like to thank the many reviewers who so astutely point out that, in fact, dinosaurs and humans did not co-exist. What a startling revelation--why didn't someone hip us up about this sooner? Now if they can maybe tell us how to spell DUH...

This film will appeal to fans of the celebrated "cavegirl-meets- caveboy" genre. Its time-honored, trademark conventions are all there, the stop-motion animated dinosaur effects artistry, and general ambiance of geological upheaval and turmoil, and of course the primitive Stone Age language they speak (with its all- English phonics). Hokey? You bet. But... this genre is refreshing in general for its unflinching, unpretentious attitude about the sexes and human relations, plus its visual celebration of physical beauty as an icon of attraction. There is an exuberant defiance of repressed, "post- modern," pseudo-intellectual nerdiness in this genre, which fans rightly admire and appreciate. These films are not for Oprah, nor NPR.

Of course, "One Million Years BC" with Raquel Welch is the definitive epic of this type. "When Dinosaurs Ruled..." is not quite as taut by comparison, but it still delivers. The dinosaur scenes are generally good, even if none of them have quite the punch of some of those from "One Million Years BC." Likewise, our leading cave lady Victoria Vetri is Very Nice, and indeed racks well in her cavegirl outfit, but for sheer screen presence she cannot really compare with Raquel.

In fact, the cavegirl bikinis here have a bit less of the magnificently rough-hewn deerskin-rawhide look of "One Million..." But they make up for it as best they can by actually being even skimpier (hard to imagine, I know...). And Victoria and her cavegirl cohorts do a prodigious amount of running, jumping around, and just general jiggling, putting the best foot of these unbelievably teeny weeny bikinis firmly forward. For this film, its what's up front that counts, big time. I must say, those guys at Hammer studios sure do know how to costume, light, and photograph their cast. By the way, the guy's outfits are also extra skimpy (not sure what they were trying to prove with that exactly). Nothing offensive though, it is all within tasteful limits.

Compared with "One Million Years BC," there is a generally lower energy, less crackling intensity to "When Dinosaurs Ruled..." The themes are intact, though -- we still get the catfights and violent interpersonal antagonisms over pecking order ranks, and access to mates that made "One Million ..." such riveting fun. But the characters here are not quite as sharply drawn compared to the standard set in "One Million..." They seem a bit pale--not as much personality, not as much charisma. That goes double for the guys, none of whom could have taken on single-handed the rowdy carnivorous therapod of "One Million..." that attacks in the orchard, the way John Richardson did. In fact, the guys are all pretty much a bunch of putzes in this movie, its hard to root for them. But still, if you liked "One Million Years BC" you will definitely want to take in this one, just don't expect it to be quite as good.

Perhaps the only aspect in which "When Dinosaurs Ruled..." surpasses "One Million Years BC" is in its extensive use of bear tooth necklaces. Everyone has got them, and they are totally stylin'....

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6 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
Nostalgic tool for prepuebescent development, 19 February 2004
Author: Ichiro from United States

"When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth," like its predecessor "One Million Years B.C." was one of those great movies when I was a kid that helped ease my transition from comic-book-reading, baseball-card-collecting dinosaur geek to comic-book-reading, baseball-card-collecting chick freak. I was seven when it was released, and I still remember the TV airwaves saturated with advertising. I whined and screamed and begged my brother to take me, and he did. Great part was, we caught this flick as part of a double-feature with Harryhausen's "Valley of Gwangi." Eat your heart out, stop-motion animation fans!

Perhaps because of the great childhood experiences surrounding this movie, there's a kid-voice in my head that still sees it as near-flawless cinema. But in all honesty, it's just G-rated exploitation in the purest sense of the word. The dinosaurs in the movie promos draw the young boys in, and once their behinds are in the seats they slowly become less cognizant of the prehistoric beasts and more cognizant of the way Victoria Vetri's cave tunic gives her breasts that extra lift or the way her legs seem to be constantly shimmering with sweat. Even at seven I noticed this, which is why "Dinosaurs" provided a great transition into puberty for me half a decade before it actually hit. A lot of fun, this, but don't mistake it for art. Watch it for the beasts and the (scantily clad but not naked) boobs, toss in a bag of microwave popcorn and a few beers. It may be G-rated but it's still kind'a fun.

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7 out of 9 people found the following review useful:
Campy fun, 26 June 2000
10/10
Author: James Kelly from United States

I've got to say this film is a lot of fun. The dinosaur effects were excellent for 1970, and the integration of the stop-motion footage with the live-action still has me wondering "How did they do that?" The film's female lead, Victoria Vetri, is my easily my favorite ex-Playmate actress; she's relentlessly beautiful in the role of Sanna, and surprisingly enough, her performance is as engaging and convincing as one could hope for in a "prehistoric" role. The location shooting is also a plus. All in all, it's a film to enjoy in spite of its silliness, and to laugh along with; not exactly "Citizen Kane", but one of the finest bad movies in existence.

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4 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
beautiful babes in skimpy loinclothes chased by monkey men and dinosaurs, 15 March 2006
9/10
Author: dougbrode from United States

how do you tell Victoria Vetri apart from Angela Dorian? The former is a blonde actress and the latter a brunette Playboy centerfold girl. Other than that, they are one and the same person. She's blonde in this film, made by Hammer to cash in on the popularity of their previous cavegirl outing, One Million Years B.C. with Raquel Welch. That's the one that everybody remembers, but want to know something? This is the better film of the two, and so strong that Steven Spielberg contains a homage to it in Jurassic Park. Vetri is fetching enough that we really are willing to suspend our disbelief and buy into the idea of her falling asleep in a cracked open dinosaur egg, waking up in the morning to find the Moma Beast staring at her, and then be adopted by the big thing! Incidentally, Magda Konopka, as her brunette rival for a hunky caveman, is pretty terrific eye candy, too. The special effects are fine, almost impossible to tell apart from those in a Harryhausen film. A strong sense of mini-epic and welcome sense of humor keep this a cut above most films in this genre. And Vetri is one of the unheralded blonde beauties of the screen.

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4 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
babes & beaches, 15 September 2003
Author: (khathaway1@socal.rr.com) from Northridge, CA

I saw this film when it was first released. I must've been 10--and I was a real dino freak. I was totally jazzed when I found it on video many years later.

Someone else mentioned getting a translation book at the theatre...I never got one. The magazine Castle of Frankenstein (real mag title, folks!) ran a translation guide that month. I still have that mag somewhere--they also ran a pin-up of Victoria Vetri in the movie bikini, wielding a spear (I had that page on my wall for months).

As I recall (and is pretty evident from the 1,004 times it's used in the film) "neecro" means evil. So "Sanna neecro" means the blonde chick is evil. Of course, she's not really evil. "Neecro" should mean totally hot, but these were cave days. And they had only 26 words. I'm pretty sure Superfragilisticexpialidotious wasn't one of them

The effects by Jim Danforth (not David Allen) are excellent--right up there with Harryhausen. They still hold up against 3D computer effects.

While the story has genuine dramatic underpinnings, the cave-language kinda gets in the way of clarity. Too often the viewer has no idea what's being said. That aside, it's a fun movie with great effects and british babes in skimpy outfits sharing a beach with dinosaurs.

Oddly, for a dino pic, there's a LOT of stage sets, and I don't mean the dino FX shots. They had a bit of trouble matching shots between set and location work. And it shows.

That aside, it's a fun movie with great effects. Any dino fan should check it out. It's not Jurassic Park, but then again Laura Dern didn't show cleavage.

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4 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Is there any chance of a dubbed edition?, 13 June 1999
Author: G.Spider

Ray Harryhausen was busy on another project when this film was made, so other animators had to be hired. While the dinosaurs in this follow-up to 'One Million Years BC' are excellent, the film sadly leaves a lot to be desired.

In 'One Million', dialogue was kept to a minimum, but here there are entire conversations in stone-age language, the same words seeming to have many different meanings. It's like watching a foreign film with no subtitles. In 'One Million', the scantily-clad cave-folk were put into the film to make it more palatable to audiences who would not otherwise go to see dinosaur films, but in 'When Dinosaurs ruled the Earth', the monsters seem to play second fiddle to decidedly uninteresting sub-plots about adultery, human sacrifice and the like. The dinosaur scenes here are good, but the creatures themselves have none of the presence they had in the first film. There is no sense of awe and wonder in this film and the music is decidedly humdrum. And it would have helped if there were more dinosaur sequences. The biggest con in this film must be the fact that there isn't even a Tyrannosaur/Allosaur-type dinosaur. Instead, all we get is a Beast From 20,000 Fathoms lookalike who thinks Victoria Vetri is its young and comes across as pretty twee and about as frightening as Barney. And why on earth did they throw in footage from that dreadful 1960 'Lost World' showing two lizards with spikes and fins glued to them fighting?

If you're a fan of dinosaurs, which I am, then this film is worth seeing for the dinosaur sequences, but just don't expect another 'One Million Years BC'.

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5 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
Loads of Fun!, 17 June 2003
7/10
Author: Space_Mafune from Newfoundland, Canada

For B-Movie Fans, there's much to love here. You got your scantily clad hot-looking cavewoman(and well the lovely Victoria Vetri is certainly hard to beat when it comes to that category...only Miss Raquel Welch it seems to me is even in her league), cool stop-motion dinosaurs from Jim Danforth. Of course this film is a little too similar to ONE MILLION YEARS B.C. but nonetheless if you loved that one, you should very well enjoy this one too. Just grab some popcorn, sit back and enjoy.

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3 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
When Hammer Ruled the Saturday afternoon movies, 25 January 2006
6/10
Author: Kelly Maureen from Kellysville WV

Sure this film is filled with all sorts of historical (hysterical) inaccuracies but I bet millions of teens and preteens didn't go to the movie theaters to get a history lesson back in 1970. I know I sure didn't want to see a Discovery Channel documentary when I fed "When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth" into my DVD player. I wanted to be taken back to an imaginary time that existed in the exciting corners of my brain when I was a kid --- you know, when cavemen fought against big old dinosaurs to stay alive and compete for food. Heck, is the world Hammer created any different than, let's say, the world Hollywood created for "King Kong"? I don't remember anyone complaining about dinosaurs and giant apes supposedly existing in 1930.

But I digress, this is the incredible love story between a caveman (Robin Hawdon) and a cave cutie (Victori Vetri) who have to fight off jealous cave competitors and giant stop-motion dinos to find their place in the sun. If you allow yourself to be transported into this imaginary world, you can really enjoy the story for all it's worth. You have beautiful leads, prehistoric romance, some sex (if you watch the uncut version), volcanoes, battles between cave tribes, dinosaur danger, and a completely made-up language for the dialog. What fun! It's not "Jurassic Park" but even that blockbuster saw fit to pay tribute by naming it's theme park display after this aged little film.

Seen 35 years or so later, the special effects are a little disappointing and I've never seen such good looking cave people before (outside of Raquel Welch, of course). But this is a enjoyable way to pass some time on a Saturday afternoon.

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3 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
An enjoyable exercise in pure cinema, 21 May 1999
7/10
Author: dinky-4 from Minneapolis

A movie that just seems to get better with the passing years. The dialog is in "caveman" with no subtitles, which means the story is told almost entirely in visual terms. But, hey, that's how movies got started in the first place! Worth noting is the Canary Island scenery which is fresh and evocative. The human scenery is attractive as well with stars Victoria Vetri and Robin Hawdon spending the entire production in nothing more than fur bikinis. Hawdon's career in film acting never took off but he did a lot of stage work in England and a lot of writing as well. Worth reading is his 1984 novel, "A Rustle in the Grass" -- a delightful novel (a la "Watership Down") about a colony of ants. His most memorable scene in this movie consists of "beefcake-bondage" and it comes when he's tied spread-eagle-style between two wooden posts. Fuel for a fire is then piled between his spread-open legs. Curiously, though, his tormentors allow him to keep on his loincloth which certainly won't protect his more sensitive parts from the rising flames but which will, unfortunately, block some of the view and thus lessen the fun. Well, they were only cavemen and thus have a lot to learn about the nudity factor in torture and executions.

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