- Sergeant: Indians, sir!
- Brig. Gen. George: My God, we're in luck. We will make our stand here, Sergeant!
- Sergeant: Yes sir!
- Brig. Gen. George: Circle the wagons!
- Sergeant: We ain't got enough, sir.
- Brig. Gen. George: Well, then make a half moon!
- Dingus Billy Magee: Now we go to Mexico.
- Anna Hot Water: Mexico?
- Dingus Billy Magee: When you steal money, that's where you go. It's the Code of the West. Get my pants, let's go.
- John Wesley Hardin: Empty your pockets!
- Dingus Billy Magee: Yes sir, Mr. Hardin.
- John Wesley Hardin: You know my name, huh?
- Dingus Billy Magee: Yes sir. There ain't a fence post or a tree stump anywhere in these parts that don't have John Wesley Hardin's picture on it.
- John Wesley Hardin: Ain't I seen a poster on you somewhere?
- Dingus Billy Magee: Yes sir. The name's Magee - Dingus Magee.
- John Wesley Hardin: Oh, that ten dollar outlaw.
- Dingus Billy Magee: None but.
- John Wesley Hardin: Ha! Ha! Ha! Hell, if I'd known that, I never would have held you up, but I got to steal something from you. Never stop a man for robbery unless you take at least something. That's the Code of the West.
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: This here is the chest from the stagecoach robbery and Dingus Magee estimates there may be as much as a million dolars in gold and silver pieces inside.
- Belle Nops: Well, the money ain't rightly ours, is it?
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: Finders keepers. That's the Code of the West, ain't it?
- Belle Nops: Gimme that crowbar!
- Chief Crazy Blanket: You like daughter?
- Dingus Billy Magee: Ah, yeah.
- Chief Crazy Blanket: Me like gun. We make trade. I take gun. You take daughter. Marry.
- Dingus Billy Magee: Oh, well, ah, sir, she's a mighty nice girl and I like her a lot, but that's a fine looking rifle there.
- Chief Crazy Blanket: Me keep rifle! You take daughter! Go honeymoon. Crazy Blanket has spoken!
- Charles Stuart: Here he comes! Shall I shoot him in the back when he passes?
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: No! I want this to be a fair fight. I'll shoot him in the back. It's the Code of the West.
- Belle Nops: Where in the hell have you been?
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: At the jail taking care of my outlaw.
- Belle Nops: I didn't make you Sheriff to take care of your outlaw, but to protect my girls here.
- [indicates her bordello]
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: Is somebody threatening them?
- Belle Nops: The Army is threatening them!
- Charles Stuart: The Army is threatening to move out.
- Belle Nops: And ruin every industry in Yerke's Hole... especially mine!
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: Why would the Army move?
- Rev. Green: To go where the Indians are! That's what they come out west for - to fight Indians.
- Belle Nops: What we need is a good massacre.
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: There ain't nothing but tamed Indians around here, Belle.
- Belle Nops: Well, stir 'em up!
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: How?
- Belle Nops: Break a treaty! Speak with forked tongue! How the hell should I know? I never started an uprising before!
- Belle Nops: [hands Hoke a badge] Here. You're the new sheriff.
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: Maybe I oughta be sworn in or something.
- Belle Nops: Raise your right hand. Swear.
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: To hell with Dingus Magee!
- Belle Nops: These army drills are hard on the girls.
- China Poppy: Soldiers hard on, too.
- Belle Nops: You can say *that* again.
- Hawkeye: [pointing to tracks] Many horses come this way.
- Sergeant: Them are our tracks! Damn you, Hawkeye, you done got us lost again!
- Prudence Frost: You'll find the mayor over yonder - at Belle's Bordello.
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: A Belle's what?
- Prudence Frost: Cathouse.
- Dingus Billy Magee: I'm sure you want to mosey out 'round look for the facilities. You don't want an uncomfortable ride over to Yerkey's Hole, do you?
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: No, I don't. Goodbye...
- Dingus Billy Magee: I'll show you right where it is. It's right back here. Right 'round here. The facility.
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: Ain't nothin' here?
- Dingus Billy Magee: The wall, Hoke. This thing has stood the test of time, for years and years.
- Anna Hot Water: You got a damn pretty face. We make bim-bam! Me in Hot Water.
- Dingus Billy Magee: Oh, I can feel that.
- Anna Hot Water: Now we finish bim-bam?
- Dingus Billy Magee: No, later. Now, you go around back and come in here.
- Dingus Billy Magee: I just may start me a law suit if you put in that newspaper how you captured me in the bushes with some little ol' Indian gal.
- Belle Nops: Just what is this I hear about the Army pullin' out?
- Brig. Gen. George: Off to the wars, Belle. An Indian named Sitting Bull has gone off on the warpath up here in the Montana territory.
- [pointing at a map]
- Brig. Gen. George: If I can get to this river before General Custer does, I could be a very famous man someday.
- Belle Nops: [squinting, reading the map] Little Big Horny?
- Brig. Gen. George: Horn.
- China Poppy: Miss Belle say Sheriff come see her.
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: I can't. Not right now.
- China Poppy: Miss Belle say, you no come - she kick you in honorable ass.
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: I'm gonna kill you dead, Dingus!
- Dingus Billy Magee: Every time I take my pants off, you come at me with a gun.
- Dingus Billy Magee: As long as we're partners, what do you say we ransack this place? I hear there's a lot of money 'round here.
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: Huh-uh. Half of Belle's money is gonna be mine when I marry her.
- Dingus Billy Magee: Well, let's rob the other half.
- Anna Hot Water: What we do now? Make bim-bam?
- Dingus Billy Magee: Bim now.
- [kiss]
- Dingus Billy Magee: Bam later.
- Dingus Billy Magee: Did you find out where she keeps the money?
- Anna Hot Water: In room.
- Dingus Billy Magee: Is she in the room?
- Anna Hot Water: Asleep.
- Dingus Billy Magee: Suppose she catches me?
- Anna Hot Water: Tell her *must* make bim-bam. Women like hear that.
- Dingus Billy Magee: Now, what you say we throw these guns down, get our clothes, and go out there and find that chest.
- Prudence Frost: Why, you certainly have your mind on *chests* right now, don't you, Sheriff Birdsill.
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: You ought to fix that skunk *real* good. If there was only some way to keep him busy all night long.
- Anna Hot Water: Two Moons keep him plenty damn busy.
- Prudence Frost: My, it certainly is warm in here, isn't it?
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: Shall I open a window?
- Prudence Frost: Ah, no. Why, no, that's all right. I'll just, um, open a few of these little buttons here on this high collar of mine. Oh, well, there, now. That's better, isn't it?
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: It sure looks better, Miss Prudence.
- Prudence Frost: Well, thank you and please don't call me Miss Prudence. Just, Prudence. Ah, Prude - for short, as they say, but not for long!
- Dingus Billy Magee: Where the hell's my million dollars that you stole from my chest?
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: I stole? You stole!
- Dingus Billy Magee: Would I be here if I stole?
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: Would I?
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: If I get my hands on that bastard Ming, I'm gonna knock him on his Chinese ass!
- Corporal: What's a nice white girl like you doing in a place like this?
- Dingus Billy Magee: I ain't no gal. I'm a man.
- Trooper: She a man, too?
- Dingus Billy Magee: She a gal.
- Dingus Billy Magee: What the hell is going on out there?
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: You and me is shootin' it out.
- Dingus Billy Magee: Is that a fact?
- Prudence Frost: Sheriff Birdsill, if you don't make an honest woman of me, tonight, I'll kill myself - with a gun - right at Belle's place so that everybody will know that it was you that wronged me.
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: I got things to do outside, Miss Prudence.
- Prudence Frost: Call me Prude.
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: Like Hell!
- Prudence Frost: This ch-ch-chill is just, is just seizin' hold of me so fast I just think I'm gonna di-di-di die.
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: Is there anything that'll help?
- Prudence Frost: Body heat.
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: How's that?
- Prudence Frost: Well, like the time my little sister fell through the ice and there just wasn't any way to stop the shiverin' until we hu-hu-huddled our bodies together under a blanket. Oh, Sheriff Birdsill, oh, if you would be so kind.
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: Oh, I consider that an honor. My pleasure ma'am.
- Prudence Frost: Oh. Ah-ah-ah-ahhh. Oh...
- Prudence Frost: Ohhhh, I do feel fiiiine, now. In fact, I feel well enough to get married.
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: Married?
- Prudence Frost: Uh-huh. Just as soon as we find the preacher.
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: It was you that got the chill!
- Prudence Frost: Well, it was *you* that warmed it.
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: Who's that one in the derby?
- Dingus Billy Magee: That's John Wesley Hardin.
- Herkimer 'Hoke' Birdsill: Well, who's the one with the long black hair and the purty bosoms standin' behind him?
- Charles Stuart: What's the matter, ma'am?
- Prudence Frost: Oh, I just, eh, feel so faint. Oh, will you help me to my bed, sir. I do believe I'm comin' down with a fierce ch-ch-chill.
- Charles Stuart: For a lady with a chill, you got mighty hot hands.
- Prudence Frost: Body heat. Like the time my baby sister fell through the ice.
- [grabs the end of Stuart's pistol and leads him into her house]
- Prudence Frost: Well, there was just nothin' we could do to stop the shiverin' until we, eh, huddled our bare bodies together...
- Belle Nops: General, send your men after him.
- Brig. Gen. George: My men are all with whores in combat, Belle.
- John Wesley Hardin: I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill your sister and your brother and your father and your mother. I'm even gonna kill your dog!
- Dingus Billy Magee: Oh, I think them shivers are comin' back again.
- Prudence Frost: Should I get the doctor?
- Dingus Billy Magee: It would be too late, ma'am. Like the time my little brother fell through the ice. Nothin' would save his life until we all got together and huddled our bodies together under the blanket. He might've died.
- Prudence Frost: Died?
- Dingus Billy Magee: Yes, ma'am. It had somethin' to do with the transferring of body heat. You know, like, one folk gettin' close to another.
- Prudence Frost: Like - this?
- Dingus Billy Magee: Yes ma'am.
- Prudence Frost: Oh, Oh! Yes, I - do think I feel - that - body heat beginnin' to transfer.
- Belle Nops: [after her bordello catches fire] My cathouse!... My cathouse!... My cathouse is burning!