What's New Pussycat (1965)
Peter Sellers: Dr. Fritz Fassbender
Photos
Quotes
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Dr. Fritz Fassbender : My father, the most beloved gynecologist in Vienna, before they took him away on a morals charge for indecent exposure at the State Opera House, said, and I quote: "Please do not take me away, I will not do it again."
Victor Skakapopulis : Brilliant quote.
Dr. Fritz Fassbender : He was a brilliant pervert.
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Dr. Fritz Fassbender : You're grotesque!
Anna Fassbender : Lascivious adulterer!
Dr. Fritz Fassbender : Don't you dare call me that again until I have looked it up!
Anna Fassbender : Adulterer! Adulterer! Lascivious adulterer!
Dr. Fritz Fassbender : Silence when you're shouting at me!
[looks through a dictionary]
Dr. Fritz Fassbender : Lascivious adulterer... let's see... lascivious adulterer is a man, who is a lascivious adulterer? What kind of book is that?
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Anna Fassbender : Is she prettier than me?
Dr. Fritz Fassbender : Is she prettier than you? I'M prettier than YOU!
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Dr. Fritz Fassbender : I, uh, decided to follow you here.
Michael James : If you followed me here, how did you contrive to be here before me?
Dr. Fritz Fassbender : I followed you... very fast.
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Dr. Fritz Fassbender : I am a doctor of the mind.
Victor Skakapopulis : Really?
Dr. Fritz Fassbender : Yes!
Victor Skakapopulis : I have terrible emotional problems. Could you help me?
Dr. Fritz Fassbender : You certainly picked a very odd time to ask me, just in the middle of a suicide.
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Anna Fassbender : [delivers a Wagnerian Valkyrie yodel]
Rita : Who is that thing?
Dr. Fritz Fassbender : That isn't a thing, this is my wife!
[to his wife]
Dr. Fritz Fassbender : This is a personal friend of James Bond!
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Dr. Fritz Fassbender : You'll like this group analysis, it's a real freak show. If it gets dull, we sing songs.
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Dr. Fritz Fassbender : If it fails, then we'll try something else, because I use all kinds of unorthodox methods. For example, I've had the greatest success shutting people in dark closets.
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Dr. Fritz Fassbender : [to his wife] I hate you! I hate you! I've hated you from the moment I first married you!
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Dr. Fritz Fassbender : I think that, with you, sex is a sport, ya?
Michael James : Oh, yes. I love the the smell of perfume and the thrill of the chase and the moment of conquest.
Dr. Fritz Fassbender : I like thighs. Do you like thighs?
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Michael James : You must not attack her. You must woo her.
Dr. Fritz Fassbender : Woo her?
Michael James : Woo her.
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Dr. Fritz Fassbender : So you turned promiscuous? Well, I love that in a woman. Love it. I love it.
Renée Lefevre : I can't help it, I'm a physical woman. I feel guilty about it. But I come from a family of acute nymphomaniacs. That includes my father and my two brothers.
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Dr. Fritz Fassbender : Oh, what a fool I've been. I've searched and searched and sampled every girl I could find. And now I realize that
[flashing on the screen: Author's message:]
Dr. Fritz Fassbender : human fulfillment does not come from short, physical, random adventures, But from a deep relationship which is quite often under one's very nose.
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Victor Skakapopulis : Do you have any salt?
Dr. Fritz Fassbender : Have I got any salt? I got a boat, I got kerosene, matches, firecrackers, two swords, and this flag. But, I ain't got no salt.
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Dr. Fritz Fassbender : My wife, the creature that ate Europe, is here.
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Dr. Fritz Fassbender : When did all this come to an end?
Michael James : It didn't come to an end! That's the point.
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Dr. Fritz Fassbender : I'll see you next Friday, I've got a few phone calls to make.
Michael James : But I haven't finished. I've only been here fifteen minutes.
Dr. Fritz Fassbender : I can't take more than fifteen minutes of your sex life at one time.
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Dr. Fritz Fassbender : [Addressing group therapy class] Where did we leave off last session?
Durell - Mental Patient : When the train entered the tunnel.
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[Michael and Carol argue after having made up]
Dr. Fritz Fassbender : Perhaps I haven't lost a son, maybe I've gained another patient.
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Michael James : Look, a point I've noticed, scientifically, is that stripping is not sexy.
Dr. Fritz Fassbender : No, not in the slightest.
Michael James : Listen, I can speak with a certain authority on this because I've seen this show - a hundred times.
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Michael James : Liz.
Dr. Fritz Fassbender : Liz?
Michael James : Oh, she's a stripper. She's beautiful. And she's here on a bongo scholarship.
Dr. Fritz Fassbender : Oh, why don't you introduce me to her? I could be the man that sees no one touches her for you.
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Dr. Fritz Fassbender : I'm hungry.
Liz Bien : Don't you just love sin?
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Dr. Fritz Fassbender : Anna! Anna! I have to go to Chateau Chantelle for the weekend. There's an analyst's convention.
Anna Fassbender : But the convention was last week, Fritz, at Arles.
Dr. Fritz Fassbender : That was the Freudian convention, this is the Jungian one.
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Rita : Come back to bed immediately.
Dr. Fritz Fassbender : Now, look here. I've had a lot of experience fondling - handling girls like you and it's got to stop.
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Michael James : Life is a strumpet stained with wine. "Go to, I'll no more on't; it hath made me mad. I say, we will have no more marriages!"
Dr. Fritz Fassbender : Isn't that Schiller?
Michael James : Shakespeare.
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Michael James : In Britain, we have a national therapy, we call it cricket. Unlike other sports, it doesn't involve anxieties or pressures. It's leisurely and lyrical. It's the song of willow on leather.
Dr. Fritz Fassbender : Is there any sex in it?
Michael James : Oh, no. This is a game for gentlemen, played by gentlemen.
Dr. Fritz Fassbender : It's sick, sick.
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Dr. Fritz Fassbender : May I explain that what you see happening here is merely an illusion...
Anna Fassbender : An illusion?
Dr. Fritz Fassbender : An illusion. Shut the door, count three...
Anna Fassbender : Three?
Dr. Fritz Fassbender : Four, if you like, but close the door and you'll see it's just an illusion.
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Mayor's Secretary : I can't spell Sigismund.
Dr. Fritz Fassbender : I think that you have a little sexual block over the spelling of that naughty name. Allow me to help you, I'm a psychoanalyst, among other things.
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Dr. Fritz Fassbender : [to his wife] You are a monster and a monster, in that order!
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Dr. Fritz Fassbender : My darling! Your face is like the pale autumn moon!
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Dr. Fritz Fassbender : [on the phone] Hello, my little laxative. This is baby Fritzy here.
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Dr. Fritz Fassbender : [on the phone] Hello, Zsa Zsa? This is Fritz. How are you, my little flesh pudding?
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Dr. Fritz Fassbender : Hey! You must not strike me, you naughty boy! You're my patient, that's who you are! And, anyvay, I can lick any Freudian psychoanalyst that's in this house!
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Dr. Fritz Fassbender : Mr Quills! Have you no shame? Why do you keep attacking new members in this way, you great fat Moby Dick?
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Dr. Fritz Fassbender : Miss Lefevre, you look positively ravishing in that face.
Renée Lefevre : Thank you, Herr Professor.
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Dr. Fritz Fassbender : Why don't we all take off our clothes? It's so modern.